Ned: Oh Shit.

Loki (currently female): I like my men how I like my emotions

Thor: ...how?

Loki with a grin: Buried deep inside me

Thor: *sighs* I really should have seen that coming

Freed and Bickslow turn around hearing a crunch.

Laxus: My mouth is a candy crush

Freed internally screaming in indecipherable gay

Freed: Gentle reminder to not eat too much candy before bed.

Bickslow: No.

Freed: This was a gentle reminder, yet your words of defiance full me with ungodly rage.

Loki summoning daggers:

Where is it?!

Thor frantically trying to calm him down:

Loki, wait!! You should treat spiders how you wish to be treated!

Loki:

Killed without hesitation!

Thor:

Not again! Please stop dying!

Tony: do you think natasha wants to kill me?

Clint: depends? why do you think that?

Tony: she might or might not have been following me with a knife for a week now

Clint:

Clint: no, that's just natasha

The problem is Gray never knows where his clothes are

Juvia: Juvia is cold.

Gray: Here have my jacket.

Lucy: I'm cold.

Natsu: Want me to set you on fire?

Once. I think a karaoke machine was the weirdest thing I’ve ever carried around

Levy, DMing: You lose your balance and fall backwards. As you land, you hear something in your bag break.

Gajeel, remembering he had four jars of live bees in his bag: Oh no.

Alternatively

Loki (female): I like men how I like emotions

Thor:...how?

Loki: Buried

Thor: Pretty sure that’s called murder. It’s illegal

Loki: Only if they find the bodies

Loki (currently female): I like my men how I like my emotions

Thor: ...how?

Loki with a grin: Buried deep inside me

Thor: *sighs* I really should have seen that coming

Did you mean:

My girlfriend turned into the moon

𝒪𝒽 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒶 𝓅𝓇𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓁𝑒𝑔𝑒 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓂𝑜𝑜𝓃

Loki is more easily irritated by Thor on Thursday. He’s grumpy and sad but Thor doesn’t understand.

This is precious

“Does anybody else know?” 

“Nobody”

Everyone needs somebody so I gave Peter a dog.