Loki Summoning Daggers:

Reblog if you're not homophobic

Every url that reblog’s will be written in a book and shown to my homophobic dad. 

Clint: There’s only four ways to do things, the right way, the wrong way, the Nat way, and the Clint way.

Rest of the Avengers : ???

Clint: The Nat way is the faster way to the right way, the Clint way just creates another problem to cover the original problem, which leads to a snowball of problems no one understands.

Loki: Mental illnesses are like Pokémon cards.

Thor: In what way?

Loki: I collect them for fun.

loki: today is a quiet day

loki: very quiet *looks at thor who's sleeping peacefully*

loki: i don't like quiet *pulls out daggers*

loki: *stabs thor*

thor: loKIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

loki: ahh no more quiet, i like it

This has been queued for 357 days. Worth the wait

Everyone needs to see this

Yo baby peter parkerr, how about a headcannon of peter saying ok boomer to Tony xD

•  Peter 100% uses “ok boomer” all the time. He uses it and Tony is genuinely confused.

peter: ok boomer.

tony:

•  Peter will use it both as a sarcastic response to being told to do something he doesn’t want, and as an enthusiastic response. He likes being a meme, but he also doesn’t hate Tony like we all hate (shitty) boomers.

tony: hey, kid, would you pass me that screwdriver over there—

peter, already sprinting to get the screwdriver: oK BOOMER!!! 🧡💕💝💝🧡💖❤️🧡💕

tony: what the actual fuck

•  You can FEEL the heart emojis when he gives an enthusiastic “ok boomer” That said, when he’s truly upset with Tony, he’ll give a snarky, “ok boomer.” It’s like… the difference between when you receive a text that has a period and one that has an exclamation point. Like “ok!” vs “ok.” It’s tangible.

tony: whAT DID I DO WRONG WHY IS HE MAD

•  Eventually, Tony picks up on the habit. He finds himself wanting to say, “ok boomer,” whenever Pepper gets on his case. Once or twice he gets super close to actually saying it.

tony: oh god it’s contagious

•  But then one day it’s Steve who says something annoying and he stands there like

steve: the way you’re behaving is childish. you need to start taking the team seriously. if you don’t step your game up, people are going to get hurt. are you seriously that self centered that you’re okay with that? clean up your act, tony.

tony, internally: oh god he was born in like the early 1900s he’s the closest thing to a boomer we have on the team oh my god I could utterly destroy him with a crisp “ok boomer” peter would be so proud oh god the opportunity is perfect I’m VIBRATING with excitement oh gOD

tony, monotone: ok boomer

tony, internally: THIS IS MY GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT

•  Peter stands in the background cheering, and the scene looks Iike

Peter, randomly quoting the internet: Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in fruit salad.

Tony, sleep deprived: That makes ketchup a smoothie.

Clint, for once actually knowing something: Too much sugar! It’s actually soda.

Natasha, exasperated and tired of everyone’s shit: Common sense is knowing that ketchup is neither a smoothie or a soda. It’s also knowing not to piss off an assassin for something as foolish as this at two in the morning.

Mr Harrington at decathlon: You’re all wonderful people so I don’t think any of you have ever broken another person’s bones before

Peter and MJ look at each: About that...

Harrington: Okay, I kinda expected MJ but Peter?! Why are you breaking people’s bones?

Peter: Cause fighting non lethally is hard without breaking bones. I either break bones or I kill them

Harrington having a panic attack: Okay. Okay. This is normal. Trauma forces people to make bad choices.

MJ: I’m proud of you loser.

Flash: whatthefuckwhatthefuck

Loki at Midtown Tech: I have come to kidnap my adopted gremlin friend

Office Lady: I’m not sure who you mean. Would you like to ask over the PA system?

Loki: I would love too.

Loki into the mic: Hey gremlin, we’re gonna fight a god and kick his ass. And then we’re gonna cause mischief with the vent bird

Meanwhile in Peter’s classroom

Teacher: Well that was weird. Probably someone playing a prank...Peter, why are you getting up?

Peter: I’m gonna fight a god, kick ass and cause mischief with the vent bird. It helps a snake and spider de-stress.

Teacher: You know what? I don’t care anymore. “Fight a god” as long as you get your work done.

Ned after a moment: snake... snake... Wait, does that mean that was Loki?!

This is precious

“Does anybody else know?” 

“Nobody”

Everyone needs somebody so I gave Peter a dog.