I Am Exhausted. Schoolwork Is Beating My Ass And I Can't Stand It.

...well that's a new memory that I just unrepressed.

That's definitely something that a 12 year old me was told and repeated to herself whenever something happened...

I tend to think that it wasn't so bad and that I've remembered all the big bad stuff but I guess I haven't. Leads to the memory of my twelve year old self admiring her friend because he's using tough love and he's so honest to her about how bad of a person she is and helps her fix it.

(She didn't really do anything wrong, but he yelled at her about it and hit her)

also I got a tattoo partially re-coloured today and they bandaged me in veterinary wrap like I'm a sick horse

i want to- *remembers suicide jokes only worsen my mental health* kill someone else

My first Tumblr post, a little drawing I did of some of my friend group's favorite Pokémon! It was kind of an impulsive idea so not the best executed, the cheap fineliner I used bled pretty badly on the printer paper, and the proportions are all sorts of wacky, but I still think it's cute.

does anyone wanna hold hands until we feel a little braver

GIRL HELP I AM UNDERGOING MITOSIS

There are no words that I could ever use to fully describe how much I hate the US healthcare system.

I'm a teenager. I should be worrying about the grade I'm gonna get on my math test, not if asking to go to the doctor for the excruciating pain in my legs will make it so my family can't afford food.

I shouldn't be feeling guilty for going to the hospital for mental health care four times two years ago. I should feel happy that I'm in a better place because I've made progress, not because it means I won't make my parents spend money on that anymore.

I should be able to be a teenager. I'd love a life without health issues, but I know that's not possible. What is possible is a world where I can focus on getting better without even thinking twice about asking for care. A world where people don't end up dying because they can't afford treatment. A world where I'm worried about my condition because it's not good for me, not because I don't want my family to struggle financially.

I just need someone to hold me while I cry sometimes. Crying/panicking alone makes me feel too much like I'm going to die from suffocation. I just need someone to hug me and tell me it's gonna be okay.