And Of Course, Nico, Being From The 1930s, Has No Idea What They Mean And Just Watches In Confusion As

My friend apparently had some sort of premonition today.

So I really need a haircut. I have short hair and my bangs have now reached below my eyes. Hair in my face is a big sensory nono for me, so when I find myself in this situation I sometimes use a hair tie to put it up into a unicorn horn ponytail (it looks weird, but it helps).

Today I was in second period and my bangs were bothering me so I asked if anyone had a hair tie. One of my friends took the hair tie out of his hair and gave it to me. Later, I went to thank him and he said "Yeah, it's no problem. This morning I just kind of had a feeling I would really need a hair tie today, so I brought one."

This dude just had some sort of premonition this morning or something, I honestly think it's kind of funny. He doesn't usually use or carry around hair ties that often either, so he just happened to have this feeling, brought a hair tie, and ended up needing it. I'm not superstitious or religious or anything, but damn this is kinda crazy.

Sometimes I can't tell if I'm being stubborn or nihilistic.

Do I want to stay at school even though I'm sick because I need to prove myself, or because I believe it is just impossible to be able to go home because my parents would dislike it?

They need to have a human body update that makes ovulation and the menstrual cycle optional. I'm not gonna be using it, I don't want children, so what's even the point anymore?

I love how my birthday gifts from my boyfriend this year were a copy of Stardew Valley for my switch, and the shiny versions of my two favorite Pokémon for Pokémon Violet.

Their reasoning for Stardew Valley was because we have a multi-player save that we play whenever I go to their house and they wanted me to be able to play Stardew Valley on my switch at home (I have it on my Chromebook at home, but it's hard to play on that)

And I'm really enamored that they took all the time to go shiny hunting for two different Pokémon for me. They were originally planning on just getting me one, but when they asked my favorite Pokémon and I told them I have two favorites, their immediate reaction instead of asking which one I liked more, or getting whichever one was easier to obtain, was to just... spend so much of their time to get both...

I am so in love with this person.

They also spent money to get a reservation for a date at the local cat Cafe for Valentine's day despite all the effort they already spent on my Birthday gifts. (Sadly we had to postpone the date because I'm sick, but we're rescheduling)

I love my boyfriend sososo much

Confessions from an emotional abuse victim:

#3 Real friendship

Due to my abuse coming from someone who I considered my 'best friend', as opposed to a partner or family member, after I broke out of the cycle of abuse, I had troubles with friendship.

I had become pretty separate from my friends I had before him, and I never thought I would ever actually need someone other than him anymore, so I didn't really try very hard to have other friends. At the end of that friendship, I had just entered a new little friend group because of my boyfriend, and I was also in a musical where I had found three people I really vibed with. Two of them are still some of my closest friends to this day.

Regardless of my shaky little support system, I still had a lot of trouble navigating friendship. I'm autistic and had just gotten out of one and a half years of covid isolation before I dove into an abusive friendship, so my social skills were not very great. The only two roles I knew in a friendship were leader and follower. As I tried to navigate friendships that weren't meant to hurt someone, I found myself making people uncomfortable a lot. I didn't know what to do or say, and I would go between either being really self centered or obsessing over the other person. I would hurt people without realizing and I became pretty isolated.

I spent most of the one year after leaving my abuser like that. I desperately tried to reach out and get people to enjoy my presence, but nothing I did seemed to work. It didn't help that I had gotten a silent reputation the year before when I pushed people away and blindly followed and backed up someone who everyone else could tell was a complete dickhead.

The one person who stuck by my side was my best friend. She took me under her wing and taught me some of the ways that friendship was supposed to look. I still have the memory ingrained in my mind of the one day we were in her basement building things with Lego, and she referred to me as her 'bestie'. I nearly broke down crying. My abuser had weaponized that term against me near the end of our friendship, saying that he hated when I called him my best friend. Hearing her say that was one of the most blissful moments of my life.

The next year, I decided to go to a different high school than pretty much everyone else from my middle school, including all the people I was friends with. I felt that I needed a clean slate, but I didn't really give myself one. I tried making friends, but after feeling even the slightest amount of push back from anyone, I would retreat. This left me with some people I didn't vibe with that well, but wouldn't reject me.

I stayed like that for a while, and was slightly miserable. I'm still not sure how it happened, but eventually near the end of the school year, I found my people. My friends right now are absolutely amazing people. I still mess up a bit, but I'm finally learning how real friendship works.

Navigating non-toxic relationships can become really hard after being in an abusive situation. It takes years, and many screw ups, but it's possible to become a better person surrounded by good people. As I continue to try and improve myself, I find that more people want to be around me. Improvement is possible, and will bring so many amazing new things into your life.