Fyodor: I Have Been Meaning To Talk To You Alone, Nikolai.

Sigma: There is a pigeon in the kitchen. I think it’s trying to seduce me.

Fyodor: Tell Nikolai to stop and get back to work.

Nikolai: I am sitting right next to you. What the hell?!

Nikolai: I’m a lovable person. I’m great to be around. People say I light up their life.

Sigma: *in the other room* WHY IS THE KITCHEN ON FIRE?!

Fyodor: I would like to get something off my chest before we start this meeting.

Nikolai: Is it your shirt?

He may be your father but he ain’t your demon daddy!

Dante to Nero

Chuuya: You’re a pain in my ass, Dazai!

Dazai: Yeah, sorry about that I’ll use lube next ti- *Chokes*

Chuuya: *Strangling Dazai*

Mori: *Looks at Kouyou* You owe me Seven hundred thousand yen.

Kouyou: I could have sworn Chuuya was the dominate one in the relationship.

Prompto took a picture of Ignis with no face on. Nightmare fuel.

Fallen: demons bring nothing but suffering and trouble.

Dante: Nah I also brought booze.

I could make traps for free Noctis if you want. Some kill and others just bring pain or traumatize people

Have any of the others like Regis, Gladio, or Ignis thought of sedating him? (I.e. Sleeper hold, a tranquilizer, or a straitjacket like Hannibal Lector style)

Gladiolus: *covers face with hands and groans*

Clarus: *scowls* You fool! You think we haven’t?!

Gladiolus: I lost count of how many times I shot him with a tranquilizer or used the sleeper hold on him. I know for a fact that he purposely pushed me to doing it so he could call me ‘the sandman’.

Clarus: Therapy is completely useless since he’s able to brainwash the weak-minded fools!

Gladiolus: Straitjackets? He knows how to escape them and has a collection. And Iggy? Regis practically made him royalty with how much power he has.

Clarus: And all to keep that son of his from destroying the city! It’s a miracle young Scientia is not a mad man like Noctis.

Gladiolus: If you have any suggestions, we’re willing to hear a few.

Clarus: I’ll give you my wealth and soul if you can stop that boy.

Noctis: *shows up* Yo, Clarinet. I sensed you were talking about me so I came over.

Gladiolus: speak of the devil.

Noctis: I’m human.

Clarus: *hisses* Lies! *points to the door* AND GET OUT.

Chuuya: How do we wake him up?

Dazai: True love’s kiss!

Chuuya: What?

Dazai: I kiss him and he wakes up.

Sigma: *Sits up* I’m awake! Don’t kiss me!

Gladio: I swear to Astrals! If you touch my cup noodles again I will shave your ass!

Iris: *comes down the stairs* brother what are you-

*cat sitting on the coffee table keeping eye contact with Gladio with its paw half way in the cup noodles*

Gladio: *has his sword out ready to start swinging*