Dazai: Why The Hell Did You Punch Me, Slug?!

Vergil talking about Y/n: I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I want to do something for them, but what?

Dante: Well, there’s the usual things. Flowers, chocolates, promises you don’t intend to keep...

Gaia (my cat) kidnapped Sigma off my bed. I swear if his throat is slit I will cry.

Mhin: *feeding the stray cats*

Vere: only time you will ever drown in pussy

Mhin:

Vere:

*30 minutes later*

Kuras: Stabbed by Mhin?

Vere: fuck you and heal me you fucking doctor.

Nikolai: I have a sexual fantasy I want to play out.

Fyodor: What is it?

Nikolai: Us in the woods. You running from me. Me chasing you. The moment I catch you. I carve you up like a pumpkin.

Fyodor: How is this a sexual fantasy?

Nikolai: You’ll find out later.

First thing I see when I open my app

fyodor’s deathniversary

Sigma: *drops a cookie* Fuck me…

Nikolai: *pops head through portal* On it!

Sigma: *screams*

Moving to Japan with nothing was a dumb move. Moving there with no experience was dumber. And yet, here you are, in the middle of Yokohama. You had just been fired from your last job and kicked out of your apartment for sneaking an animal in. Man landlords were harsh. You sigh looking at that last small amount of money you had left. Homeless in a foreign country. Yeah great job.

You begin to head somewhere hoping to find a box to sleep in. As you begin to walk you hear a meow coming from an alleyway. Heading over you see a calico sitting in the middle. Wait that’s a male calico. That thing is rare and seen as a sign of good luck! You slowly approach the cat, wanting to pet him. Until you see him closer. “Poor guy looks hungry.” You mutter. Looking at your wallet you sigh. You stand up beginning to leave the cat and into the convenience store nearby to purchase something. The moment you return you see him sitting and waiting. Smiling you kneel down in front of him. “It’s not much but I used the last of what I had for this.” You hold out a can of cat food for him. You shakily open it for him to eat. The cat bumps your hand purring happily before eating from the can. You smile as you watch him eat.

“Guess the only guy that getting good luck is you, huh?” You tease as you watch him eat.

“Natsume!” A voice called out from the alleyway. You turn in the direction but set the food down for the cat to eat. A man approaches the two of you. A middle aged man in a suit approaches you both. To you he looks like a human version of the cat. His hair matching the pattern too. The man stops in front of you setting his cane to the ground as he stood there. “Natsume, there you are.” He spoke. You blink trying to figure out who he was talking to. Just then the cat you were feeding meowed happily before jumping onto the man’s shoulders. “I’m glad you are safe. You have been missing for days.” He spoke petting the cat. the man glances at you. “You, miss. Did you find him?” You nod slightly unable to speak. Was he mad at you? His lips curled into a smile. “Judging by the look of you and the bag on your shoulder, you have nowhere to go. And yet you were willing to spend money to save an animal that you just me.” You nod again, was he making fun of you? The man smiled “My name is Soseki Natsume. And you are?” The moment you give him your name he smiles wider. “Well my friend, I see you have a kindness that is rare. To give what you have left has given me an idea. You see I need help taking care of my home and I would like to employ you. You will have not only a home and food but also a job.” “You’re seriously going to hire a stranger on the spot? No interview?” You ask. The human Natsume nodded. “Of course! I was looking for someone. Come! I’ll show you your home and work.” The man turned on his heel heading out of the alley way. You stand there for a moment watching him and the cat leave. Were you seriously going to follow a stranger to his home? I mean Japan was safer than your home country but still. Natsume turned back to look at you. “There are more cats than the one you see on my shoulder.” “Coming!” You yell chasing after him. Yep you were those people. Easy to kidnap by just saying you have an animal.

You follow human Natsume to his car. You hop only to have his cat hop in your lap. Neither of you speak as he drives. You’re quiet for a moment before finally speaking as you notice you’re out of the city. “What’s my job anyway human Natsume?”

Human Natsume turns for a moment, he turns back to keep his eyes on the road, “It’s Natsume I was here before my cat.” He replies. “Anyway your job is to tend and care for my other cats. They…are not loved. Each cat is broken in some way. Some have been abused and abandoned and others never felt the love or comfort of a human. That will be your job. You will love these stray cats.” You pause for a moment. “Why aren’t they loved?” You ask. To you all animals are loved. Natsume looks back at you. “Each hold a special power some are dangerous and others are not. But I’m sure they will not harm you.” As he said that the car pulls into a large old mansion. Getting out of the car you look around seeing the city in the distance. “Welcome to your new life, my friend. This is Bungo manor.”

Ignis and Prompto look like they're giving the chocobo a pep-talk

ffxv windows edition ↯ ansel

I DRANK SHAMPOO

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!