Nikolai: *Barging Into Fyodor’s Room* FEDYA~ I Made Us Tea!

Dazai: What’s better than having sex with me?

Kunikida: Sanity.

Sigma: My casino.

Chuuya: Wine.

Fyodor: Watching a sinner like you burn.

Atsushi: Not contracting every STD known to man.

Dazai:

Dazai: Damn Atsushi…

Mc: Leander reminds me of a puppy.

Vere: we should put him down then.

Mc: no!

Mhin: neuter him.

Mc: stop!

Ais: send him back to the shelter.

Mc: Guys no!

If Ignis was sucked into a horror dimension

"Goodness your hygiene is horrendous!"

"Oh please I've ridden with Noct driving. This doesn't scare me."

"If you plan on cooking the man use the right seasoning for gods sake!"

"It smells like Gladio's room in here..."

"This place is filthier than Noct's apartment!"

"I was asking for directions. Put your chainsaw down and communicate like a normal human being!"

"Do you even know how to use that knife correctly?"

"This is why you shouldn't have sex."

Akutagawa: Have you thought about not being such a crybaby, weretiger?

Atsushi: Have you thought about not looking like an E-boy with a subscription to Victorian Hot Topic?

Atsushi: Akutagawa! I got you some chocolates! I thought you would like them.

Akutagawa: I don’t want chocolates from you! *throws them in the river*

Atsushi: I could have had them!

Akutagawa: *looking at the chocolates then back at him*

Atsushi: You did want those, didn’t you?

Akutagawa: *nods*

Sigma: I wanted one thing in life. A place to call home. Instead I’m forced to live with a pigeon and his pet anemic rat.

Nikolai: You forgot the anemic rat is immortal.

Fyodor: The devil has a restraining order against me I guess.

Nero: Ver- I Mean dad I got you a gift for Christmas.

Vergil: *surprised that Nero actually got him something.* what is it-

Nero: *stabs Vergil with blue rose* MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS!

Leander: *locking the door* so now that we are alone how about that ki- and she’s gone.

Kira: *half way down the wall* IT’S NOT YOU IT’S ME

Fyodor: I have been meaning to talk to you alone, Nikolai.

Nikolai: That’s great! I’ve been meaning to have a chat alone with you too!

Sigma: *walks by* Keep it in your pants, both of you!

Sigma: So what do we do now?

Nikolai: I have a solution.

Sigma: No.

Nikolai: You didn’t hear it!

Sigma: We are not killing him!

Nikolai: I wasn’t even going to suggest that!

Sigma: Then what?

Nikolai: We kidnap him then mutilate his corpse!