Mc: Why Do You Send Letters That Say “I Hope This Letter Finds You Before I Do”?

Sigma: I wanted one thing in life. A place to call home. Instead I’m forced to live with a pigeon and his pet anemic rat.

Nikolai: You forgot the anemic rat is immortal.

Fyodor: The devil has a restraining order against me I guess.

Nikolai: *Barging into Fyodor’s room* FEDYA~ I made us tea!

Fyodor: That is surprising but kind of you. *reaches for a cup*

Nikolai: *Pulls them away* One second. *looks at both cups* Want both?

Ardyn: who made the "hate Ardyn fan club"?!

Noctis: Almost everyone in this room

Ardyn: I have done nothing to deserve this.

Noct: you helped kill my father and plunged the world into darkness.

Ignis: you tried to kill Noctis and made me go blind.

Prompto: you imprisoned and tortured me.

Ravus: you annoy me and stabbed my sister.

Regis: you destroyed my city

Gladio: you tricked so many people.

Lunafreya: you angered the Astrals.

Alice: You enslaved my people.

Iris: you let Caligo kill Jared.

Loqi: you make fun of my height.

Aranea: you traumatize children.

Nyx: you keep screwing up my training

Clarus: and you keep stalking all of us.

Ardyn: you all hold grudges.

Prompto: some of that you did three months ago.

You may not be able to but if you want I can rig the chairs to start spinning with the flip of a remote.

(Now that I have a bit more confidence) Ever thought about putting super glue on the seats in the council room and holding the members hostage and torturing them since they can't escape?

Noctis: *raises eyebrow* You ask that as if I haven’t.

Ignis: His highness has been banned for entering the council room since the Song Fiasco 6 years ago.

Noctis: Good times.

Gladiolus: You said you would only let them go when the music ended.

Noctis: I was being 100% honest.

Gladiolus: You forced them to listen to ‘The song that never ends’!!!!!

Noctis: It didn’t end so I didn’t let them go, simple logic.

Ignis:This is why you are banned.

Noctis: When I’m king, I’ll remind them why they fear me.

Gladiolus We all fear that dark day.

Atsushi: Dazai said he wants you to take me out.

Akutagawa: With pleasure. How would you like to die, weretiger?

Atsushi: On a date, you murderous asshole!

Nikolai: *Texting* Come on. One night with me. I can introduce you to so many kinks~<3

Sigma: *Texting* WRONG PERSON! I AM NOT FYODOR!

Nikolai: Who said this was for Fyodor? ;D

Dante: *watching the news* Vergil was at the park today.

Nero: why do you say that?

Dante: the playground is on fire

Nero: what makes you think he was there?

Dante: I haven’t seen Verge all day and when bad things happen it’s usually him.

*Vergil walks in*

Nero: Hey, where were you?

Vergil: *walks by them* the park

Nero:

Dante: TOLD YA

Take my blood

Kuras: why are you covered in bite marks and why is she in a panic?

Leander: So pinning her is fun

Ais: told you

Little Y/n: feeling cute my delete later.

Nero: Can I have my phone back?

Dante: I want copies!