Pube Is A Good Name Actually I Dont Think Any Other Name Would Be As Good.

today my bones are made of the most fragile flowers. I feel little blue petals brush against my lips. Gently

i think i allow myself

to feel happy

for a tiny moment. One that I expected to last for a breathtake - but now my lungs are still full of air. Where’s all the water gone? I can breath. Where’d all the darkness go? I can feel again.

Who is there

hesitating

i feel

the stars are

singed

with the ash of burnt words

the night sky is

scorched

with longing for another

my bed is

burning

with the emptiness of being

without you.

my lover,

come home.

i am miserable.

it is a “cry in the shower” kind of day.

A “fill your ears with water and hug your knees close” kind of day.

And i am a miserable creature who had to sit down in the shower today.

This is the kind of day that eats up every ounce of energy you have. It leaves you breathless while you lie on your side, mixing the salt on your face with the salt in the sea.

It is not a nice ocean that greets me this morning.

He tells me there is an end to it somewhere.

All I see is more waves.

I am holding cold water to my chest. Hearing rain pound against my eardrums. Feeling more water batter my already bruised skin.

And I am so tired.

when does this all end.?

i am

so

tired.

is growing up about seeing the things you loved ripped from your hands? Is it about losing everything to time? Having feelings and memories taken over by people who never understood them? Is it about watching your childhood die? Because I want to find a world that loves what I love, but all I see are people who want to destroy it. I am so fucking tired.

happy

one day you’ll find me

strumming my guitar by the sound of the ocean,

warmth of family and friends around me

who knows

jesus christ does the autumn wind make me remember every good thing about my childhood.

(i think) october is going to bring with it the one I’ve been looking for.

This belief has gone very very poorly for me in the past.

I’m glad i don’t seem to learn from my past lol.

(but really he might be coming!!! my dear! i wish to hold him close.)

i hope he comes near.

TORTLES!!!

emotions are so constant

i dont mind em but i would like to just take a break from feeling so much sometime

maybe lie down on a beach somewhere, listen to a guitar, and rest on someone’s chest for a while