The Solution To Homelessness Is Housing.

so proud of my organs for unionizing. would be great if it wasn't against me but you can't win them all i guess.

idk it is sad to me how “twink death” means growing old, which often means getting fat and becoming disabled and going gray and whatever, is equivalent to basically dying for some people. the implication is that thesee things everyone will go through to some extent make you no longer sexy, ergo loveable and worthy of life. can you imagine being a young gay man who hears and internalizes this? the levels of self hatred one had to live with? ive never been more aware of the little circle i live within.

system of a clown. if you even care

Like clock work

June 12 2024

There’s a little transsexual angel on my shoulder who tells me I should get freakier with how I dress everyday

sometimes being queer is mourning. you transition and you mourn the girl you thought you were but never could have been. you mourn the parents that loved her and are silent towards you, you echo “i love you” back and forth but you know it only goes one way because you can’t love someone you refuse to see. you use slang with your brother so he calls you “bro” and it feels like a participation trophy for a game you wish you weren’t playing. your extended family tells you you’re shaping up to be a lovely young lady. you sit in a men’s medium buttondown and nod at them, say thank you, and pray they don’t make you go to another girl’s only brunch. “you make sacrifices for the people you love” they claim, but what have they sacrificed for you? money? you do not feel safe when with people anymore. you do not feel anything when you are alone. you are numb with grief for a life that could have been if you were not the one living it

Crying with my mama—

I ask what the limit to her love is.

She says that there’s nothing,

still some clarity is wanted.

She doesn’t understand

becoming something different,

but I can hold her hand

and she can ask forgiveness.

There’s a

blue sky ahead—

it grows

by keeping promises.

If god

made wheat

for bread,

then god made me to be an honest man.

Daily in communion with my deepest wishes—

shaving in the mirror,

reading science fiction.

Tomorrow and tomorrow, I will learn the meaning,

of the lengths that I will go to be alive, and love, and listen.

There’s a

blue sky ahead—

it grows

by keeping promises.

If god

made wheat

for bread,

then god made me to be an honest man.

I will not repeat the tenets of my born religion,

or lend weight to an argument that I am not sufficient.

I am not determined by the love that I am given.

I am here because I’m here because I’m here,

and it is written.

There’s a

blue sky ahead—

it grows

by keeping promises.

If god

made wheat

for bread,

then god made me to be an honest man.

I will choose myself over the institution.

I will not believe the propaganda that I’m used in.

I can break my heart to own my revolution.

Oh, and I am more courageous for the wanting.

I am more courageous for the wanting.

And I can choose to be

an honest man.

Mama, I won’t plead,

I’m simply what I am—

and you can still believe

whatever that you can.

I WANT TO FEEL BEAUTIFUL BUT NOT AT THE EXPENSE OF MY NATURE!

There was a TikTok post about an advertisement for “blood-making pills for weak women” someone found in a newspaper from the 1890s and everybody seemed to think it was just an example of the weird misogyny of the day and age but no. Anemia was a massive public health concern. It always has been through history but part of the reason we have this idea of old timey women thought history being physical weak, chronically cold and pale and fainting is because they often they were. Anemia was also a massive problem for men in that day but even now it disproportionally affects people who menstruate. So tonics full of stimulants and “healthful vitamins” were marketed at young women in pages upon pages of advertisements in every newspaper. People generally felt like shit all the time back then.

not to keep harping on this but if you HATE shaving your body or any other part of your "beauty routine": stop doing it. just stop doing it, at least for a little while (maybe when you don't have a lot going on if that helps) and HONESTLY gauge how it makes you feel. is this feeling better or worse than the amount of time, stress, and money the routine takes? do YOU actually prefer how you looked before, or are you only worried about what others think? if you stopped doing the routine forever, could you find other ways to feel better about yourself with that energy?

when I was like 19 and the idea of not shaving my legs anymore first occurred to me (bc I had a Cool Progressive Boyfriend that Didn't Care) i just stopped and it was immediately like... a quantifiably large chunk of unnecessary anxiety just sloughed off my life forever. instantaneously I got rid a bunch of effort and stress I had been accepting as normal, and replaced it with more time to do what actually made me feel 'ready' in the morning, like hygiene, coffee, preparing for my activities etc.

and i DONT feel self conscious about body hair personally but even if I did, no amount of shame over hair could outweigh how much easier my life is. not just bc 'shaving annoying' or 'long showers' or whatever, but like. yeah I don't waste as much time getting ready anymore, and I also don't have to realize last minute before some leg-showing event that im unfit for display and have a whole self-esteem plummeting anxiety attack about whether I should rush it unsafely and risk being late, cut up, and stressed out before the event, or go With Hair and feel judged the whole time. i don't have to go through any of those emotions and when anyone does comment on my hair rudely, im in a much healthier place to deal with it and tell them to fuck off rather than validate THEIR fucked up standards by feeling bad.

once I realized I didn't give a shit and neither did anyone I cared about, it also gave me the freedom to cut out a bunch of other shit I was only doing (or Thinking I Should) bc it was what girls Have To Do to be presentable. fuck shaving fuck waxing fuck eyebrow shaping fuck concealer fuck multi step skincare fuck shapewear fuck lip fillers fuck contouring fuck teeth whitening fuck all of it, you do not need to change ANYTHING about how you look Every Single Day.

for those of you about to say "but I like being shaven/wearing makeup/literally pulling hair out of my face painfully every day etc etc etc":

have fun and mod your avatar all you want but for gods sake if you hate it and complain about how long it takes and all the stuff you "have" to buy or do just to "get ready" - you do not have to. you're not just having fun. you are not getting Ready, you are making your mood and experience worse for yourself, which is going to make you feel unready and unprepared for actually being yourself comfortably.