Lol I’m All Of Them

Just Glue Yourself Together

so I was reading this post https://officialleehadan.tumblr.com/post/172812798273/claws-i-am-so-sorrrry-prrt-ts-growled-panic its a good “humans are weard” post and you should check it out. 

the basic premise was that humans are weird because they heal from injuries. while I find the idea that aliens would have no healing abilities far-fetched. I could see how a planet like earth where life is based on violent competition may evolve a superior healing ability. Most alien race’s may be closer to haemophiliacs by human standards. 

as i was thinking this my bad habit of putting way to much stuff on the shelf over my pc came to bite me in the ass. long story short an avalanche of stuff fell on me and a crafts knife ended up cutting my hand. (nothing to worry about)

but its what I did next that I think an alien race could be interested in. i super glued the cut close.

so just think of this

human jess is working on a spaceship engine when her alien co-worker yelps in pain then starts to panic. the alien has a small half inch cut on an appendage. though its panic it sobs out “i’ll never make it to the med bay in time. it’s to far”

human jess, however, reaches into her tool bag and pulls out a small tube of super glue and just glues the cut closed. 

the alien crew is stunned shour this Cyanoacrylate left a bad looking scar but once applied it lengthened the time needed to get to a healer from 1-30 minutes (depending on the severity of the haemorrhage) to hours or even days. 

at the next human spaceport, the ships captain orders enuff superglue so that each crewman has 5 tubes, and adds a tube of the life-saving liquid to the standard uniform. from then on any crewman without a tube was considered out of uniform.

This is awesome

This Guy Won’t Stop Photoshopping Himself Into Kendall Jenner’s Photos And It Makes Them 10 Times Better

Credit: Kirby Jenner / IG

via: boredpanda.com

👌🏻🙏🏻

this might be a hard pill to swallow for college students but getting drunk all the time isnt a personality trait it’s alcoholism

Wine bottle

My mom accidentally dropped a bottle of wine, after that she came to me.

Mom: „Look, this is a good bottle, stable and well-built“

Me: „I wish my life would be that stable and well-built”

She laughed at me. Like literally laughed, thanks mom; thanks.

Capricorn Gryffindor

Out of curiosity people, I’m conducting a survey:

Reblog this and tag your star sign and hogwarts house

I’m a Sagittarius Slytherin

???

How Queer people type

• several spelling errors

• CAPS LOCK

• LGKDSJNANEIFJR

• ??!!?!?!?!!

• ???

•Swearing like a motherfucking salior

• a superfluous amount of ‘bro’

True tho

i mean to be fair we kinda don't deserve content anyway

“This little baby deer got so scared crossing the road from seeing the car approaching, it dropped down in the middle of the road and wouldn’t move. After stopping and turning the car off to help them calm down, the mama deer cautiously came to the rescue.“

(Source)

EXACTLY BUT HERE IN GERMANY ITS FOR ME 7:30 TO 5:00 WITH AN HOUR LUNCH

MADNESS!

i hate the whole thing about "working 9-5" cause that just doesn't make sense to me

all my jobs have been 8-5 with 1 hour lunch what is this American fuckery

https://www.democracynow.org/2018/12/13/you_are_stealing_our_future_greta

Democracy Now!

You Are Stealing Our Future: Greta Thunberg, 15, Condemns the World’s Inaction on Climate Change

Fifteen-year-old Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg addressed the U.N. plenary last night in Katowice, Poland, condemning global inacti