I Wanna Write Kyman I Wanna Draw Kyman I Wanna Read Kyman I Wanna Watch Kyman

ive heard the new sp special finally came out i am SO excited to watch it HOPE IT’LL GIVE ME SOME KYMAN FOOD PLEASE

kyle: I am not getting into any more stupid fights with you, it’s not even worth my time.

cartman: Water is not wet.

kyle: How the fuck is water not wet it’s fucking water.

kyle is the type to actually brush his teeth, chew a gum and use breath mints before every date with cartman

and cartman laughs at him for that like “omg u put so much effort into looking good for me dude that’s totally gay” and kyle just looks at him disgustedly and says smth like “u might put some as well because u fucking stink” and cartman goes offended “wtf thats how an actual man should smell. not like you can get it tho”

@bloogers-boogers I CRIED I LOVE IT EVERY TIME WHEN U REBLOG ME I JUST 😭😭😭😭🤲🤲🤲🤲🤲 THANKS A LOT MKZNXKXNXKXHSJXN

so i was thinking more about nobody understanding kenny’s role in creek relationship (he’s dating them both lmao) and i thought about kyle being really concerned about kenny’s moral values. so one day he gets pretty sick of all those rumors and decides to find out the truth directly from kenny (because he has this awfully strong sense of justice).

kyle: Hey, Kenny, may I talk to you for a second? Over there.

kenny: (Sure, dude, what’s the problem?)

kyle: I… I don’t know if you knew about this, but… um…

kenny: (But what?)

kyle: Oh, God, it’s difficult to explain… Listen, I don’t believe a single word Cartman told me about this, because he’s a fat perverted asshole who fantasises about other people’s personal lives all the time, but… I know that it may sound ridiculous, but there were some rumors…

kenny: (What kind of rumors?)

kyle: Well, you know… That you might be… *whispers* going out with Tweek.

kenny: (Oh.)

kyle: I told Cartman that you wouldn’t do something that immoral and that you don’t go out with people who already are in a relationship, but he keeps saying…–

kenny: (That’s true.)

kyle: …that nonsense about… Wait, what?

kenny: (What?)

kyle: What did you just say?

kenny: (That it’s true. I’m fucking Tweek.)

kyle: …Dude! What the fuck?

kenny: (What’s the problem?)

kyle: What’s the problem? He has a boyfriend, Kenny! How could you do that to Craig?

craig, suddenly showing up right behind kyle: How could he do to me what?

kyle, scared: Nothing! Nothing, we were just… talking about our last game night when Kenny killed you online.

craig, raising an eyebrow: Is everything alright?

kenny: (I’m sleeping with your boyfriend.)

kyle, terrified: Kenny!

craig: What?

kenny: (I’m sleeping with your boyfriend, dude.)

craig, completely emotionless: Oh. Me too. Cool. Hope you like it. Okay, see you later. *walks away calmly*

kyle: What???

kenny: (I know. Gays sure are weirdos, aren’t they?)

kyle, speechless: …

kenny: (Well, nice talking to you, Kyle! I’ll see you at the next game night.)

the thing i like to headcanon for kyman is that they can always, no matter what, rely on each other. and they will be there for each other at worst moments ever possible.

when cartman’s mom goes to hospital in a very serious condition, the first and only person he tells about it personally is kyle – because he knows that despite their mutual hate and rivalry kyle will always be there when shit gets really bad. he won’t be just emotional support – he’s the one person to actually start helping and saving his friend in trouble, he’s the one to hug tightly and then slap cartman’s face so he doesn’t get too depressed.

and it’s mutual because kyle knows that even though it’s not the most logical choice, but once he gets in real trouble, cartman will be the first one he goes to. cartman will help to deal with the most fucked up situations and after he literally saves kyle’s ass, he will never shut up with stupid jokes and teasing kyle for getting in such stupid troublesome circumstances. and kyle will take both that and “you owe me now, kahl”, ‘cause he knows cartman will get serious again and help with anything in the future if anything else happens.

they can rely only on each other when things seem to be worse than ever.

@bloogers-boogers @hatsunevitu (this is a joke about Cartman’s dad for anyone that didn't get it)

I was iffy on posting this bc I have a LOT of ideas preceding and following this particular scenario and wanted to have it all finished before i shared stuff, but, eh. If I draw anymore, i’ll compile it somehow. I probs won’t clean up the comics more than this though due to being busy, so u guys only get loose scribbles.

Also shoutout to @numbknee’s fics for hella inspiring me enough to want to loosely play with some of their ideas/characterizations (hoping they don’t mind), if u haven’t read their fics, you should: https://archiveofourown.org/users/numbknee/pseuds/numbknee/works?fandom_id=35537

both kyle and cartman joined the debate club in high school. kyle thought it would help him with his public speaking skills and improve his critical thinking, meanwhile cartman was just looking for an opportunity to release the anger and stress he had and fucking destroy someone in a verbal fight.

and – uh-oh, such a coincidence – they both joined it at the same time without knowing it.

kyle was obviously pissed off, and he was actually thinking of quitting, because the idea of spending school hours arguing with cartman didn’t really seem appealing to him, but eventually his pride wouldn’t let him simply give up.

“I can be in any club I want, and I won’t let Cartman fucking ruin it for me! You’ll see, dude, he’ll drop out in one or two meetings when I absolutely win him in a debate!” as he then explained to stan.

kyle was preparing for the first debate harder than for any of his normal school activities. he would spend nights perfecting his reasoning and making a plan for his speech, until he was absolutely sure cartman had zero chances to win.

the theme was something controversial like, i’m not sure, politics or something, and kyle was totally sure that cartman would come unprepared, because he hates anything homework-like, and he ususally prefers improvising.

he was wrong, though, as cartman has been preparing. he entered the classroom with a small stack of papers with his reasoning on them, he was smiling brightly and joking, and kyle for the first time felt insecure about his skills. he felt rather nervous as he knew that cartman’s charisma and the ability to tell lies in the blink of his eye made kyle look worse in a debate, but he still hoped the teacher had some common sense and wouldn’t let cartman blind them with his confident smiles and fake politeness.

but the nervous anxious feeling in kyle’s chest wouldn’t go away, so when cartman started speaking, kyle couldn’t just stay quiet, sighing irritatedly when cartman said things like “violence is bad”. as kyle knew damn well that’s not what cartman actually thought.

so when the debate was coming to its end and cartman was giving another hypocritical speech, kyle just couldn’t be silent anymore, interrupting cartman with his new counter arguments (and adding some insults as well). cartman, of course, lost his temper too, and the constructive discussion instantly became a heated bickering. teachers tried to stop it but when kyle and cartman are fighting literally nothing can distract them.

cartman: Look, capitalism is just the natural way of things. It's the perfect system, without it everything would fall apart!

kyle: How can you be sooo blind and ignorant to everything?! Capitalism breeds inequality, it's the reason behind a lot of problems in our society, you just don't know it because you haven't experienced all the struggles, you fat privileged fuck!

cartman: Oh, I’m privileged?? Well, you’re just a whiny jew who can't handle the truth. You're just jealous your greedy ass can't make money yourself!

kyle: Shut up, Cartman, I’m warning you!

after a few antisemitic-fatphobic-homophobic slurs they were both kicked out and banned from entering the club again.

they both seemed disappointed and annoyed by it, but cartman had a smug smirk on his face, feeling proud of making kyle mad.

they wouldn’t stop their fight though, arguing all the way back home, without being pressured or watched, and kyle caught himself thinking that arguing with cartman is pretty, well, addicting and he might actually be enjoying it.

at the end they decided it’s a tie, and for the goodbye cartman says something like “Well, you’re annoying as fuck, but I gotta hand it to you, you’re good at debating. Who even needs that stupid club, anyway?”

and kyle smiles, nodding. “Next week, the same time” he says already walking away from Cartman.

and they meet again, choosing a topic and preparing for the debate by themselves because they don’t need a club to argue with each other.

my gf and her moots came up with the sick idea of south park and homestuck crossover so i couldn't resist and drew some of.... stuff!!! i changed like TONN of stuff but i still admire the concept!!