PEOPle WHO CAN WRITE

Agama agama requested by Starry on my patreon

[drawing of an orange and blue Agama agama (a lizard) saying “Do the small things that make you happy. You deserve it.” in a yellow speech bubble.]

So y'all remember that guy I was tellin you about? Well now he just won't fucking talk to me. At all. And I honestly have no idea WHY.

This is the video that launched my #whatdyawannabe series on TikTok. I’ll post some of those next.

Boyfriends.... or whatever

So I'm dating this guy but he refuses to call me his girlfriend. How am I supposed to feel about that? Like how tf do you expect me not to be mad & upset, we've been dating for a month now and you still "don't want to label things"?? Is there something wrong with me? Are you just waiting for something better? You're messing with my head and that's not fucking okay to do to somebody.

and I'll probably still be here when it closes at 2:00...

Yasssssss, Nicki! Preach🙌🏻💕

Actual footage of me when someone says they haven't seen Friends (or AHS, or HIMYM, or Psych, or.... you get the idea)

Me: *mentions favorite tv show*

Friend: “I’ve never seen that befo-“

Me: 

Rape has become endemic in South Africa, so a medical technician named Sonette Ehlers developed a product that immediately gathered national attention there. Ehlers had never forgotten a rape victim telling her forlornly, “If only I had teeth down there.”

Some time afterward, a man came into the hospital where Ehlers works in excruciating pain because his penis was stuck in his pants zipper.

Ehlers merged those images and came up with a product she called Rapex. It resembles a tube, with barbs inside. The woman inserts it like a tampon, with an applicator, and any man who tries to rape the woman impales himself on the barbs and must go to an emergency room to have the Rapex removed.

When critics complained that it was a medieval punishment, Ehlers replied tersely, “A medieval device for a medieval deed.” 

- Half the Sky, Nicholas Kristof

Low key would actually do this

Life Hack #3

Add a touch of magic to your cold by putting glitter in your mouth before you sneeze.