I Hate Those Type Of Thoughts, Because I Don't Want To Kill Myself. If Anything, I Want To Kill The Part

Pretty sure sometimes I forget that it's technically still winter in Montana because I basically live in shorts and a tank top when I'm at home

Give Her attention

My roommate just followed me on tumblr so she can send me funny posts and idk for sure but I think this is gonna be the best roommate relationship in the history of ever

i hope that one day i will finally be ok….i’ll make a cherry pie when it is all over

john mulaney talking about how much he loves his wife and roasting other male comedians that just talk shit on their wives is why The Gays like him so much because he’s what Straight Culture should be

How did I actually survive before coffee was introduced to my diet like seriously someone please explain this to me

My teacher just said "that should be 3 6 9" and I about lost it cuz you know 3 6 9 damn girl fine shake it shake it shake it for me one more time

Low key would actually do this

Life Hack #3

Add a touch of magic to your cold by putting glitter in your mouth before you sneeze.

Actual Texts from my Parents

Dad: "Your mom is mad because i finnished the desert while she was in the bathroom!" Mom: "I don't believe him!! I had maybe 4 bites of this huge brownie ice cream desert and when I came back, it was gone!!!!!"