John Wick Holding Shadow The Hedgehog Like Mary Holding Baby Jesus

even a forehead kiss would have a maladjusted freak like me bricked the fuck up. to be honest

Things to say when you’re staring at your reflection number 396:

*wrinkles nose* shouldnt you be repressing that

Putting “student” as your job on forms is just another way of saying you are not only currently unemployed, but will continue to be unemployed in the future

Did you know that if a baby ran 35 miles per hour it would outrun a dog?

Brains are weird

Brains are weird because I forgot until today that the one person I consider to be my best friend that I’m gonna miss more than my parents when I move in a few months had only been promoted from classmate to friend a little over a year ago (and best friend quickly after that)

Brains are weird because in high school I told people I had a crush on them on a whim whether I was sure about it or not and now the idea about saying concrete things like “you are my best friend” gives me such a stomach ache that I can hardly eat anymore

And brains are weird because throwing out vague but deeply personal information on the internet feels easier than journaling even though my therapist wants me to journal but I don’t wanna because I’m afraid a family member could find it as if they couldn’t find me online

did you know you can pull the strings out of your clothes and ruin them

Yes I know some people are tired of the MLM movies (most likely written by straight people) about an older man meeting a younger, confident queer guy that’s kind of openly a slut even tho it usually is in a setting where the younger guy Shouldn’t be a slut and the older man starts having Gay Thoughts for the “first” time and then they have an affair which almost always has a tragic twist to it. Yes it’s overdone and there are a million other situations you can put gay people in and it’s also okay to let them be happy

BUT I DEVOUR THESE PLOTS EVERY TIME

It is cool and fun to see a *canon* version of the yearning I read online!!! Yes PLEASE I need to see them make eye contact for too long and the repressed man’s breathing stop cold. They need to almost kiss at LEAST three times and be interrupted by circumstances beyond their control!!! It’s not about the voyeuristic nature of watching them get it on, I couldn’t care less about that. I like the wet look in their eyes when they realize how little time they have with each other and that it’s slipping through their fingers faster than they thought.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!

I’m very normal about this, your honor

My woke™️ professor to a classroom of non English majors in a 3000 level English literature course:

A: Keep skimming! You’ll figure it out eventually, you cold reading ass.

Currently making a list of male actors (specifically how they looked in the 90s) that I both want to dominate and also view as transition goals and the list is EMBARRASSING so obv I’m going to share it:

1) James Spader but specifically him in the movie Crash (this is a VERY new development)

2) Robert Sean Leonard (I swear this is NOT connected to my House MD hyperfixation trust me bro)

3) Thomas Gibson :)

4) Robin Williams in The Birdcage (his wardrobe and mustache are everything to me)

5) Richard Belzer (rip)

Pls rb with suggestions and ridicule