The Real Reason I Ship Superbat Is So I Can Keep Lois Lane To Myself

A list of my fav Dick Grayson with eldest daughter syndrome fics

As an eldest daughter there’s something so refreshing about Dick working through his familial trauma as well as all his other problems so here are some of my fav fics I’ve compiled over the past like week LMAO

1. https://archiveofourown.org/works/43704451/chapters/109898020

- such such such a good fic, i loved the exploration of dick’s trauma at spyral

2. https://archiveofourown.org/collections/DickGraysonsuffers/works/40771257

- absolutely loved this one shot,,, dick is always doing his best to play mediator because he’s known bruce the longest and understands his motives the most but playing mediator and understanding both sides is an exhausting task so i love the fact the author explored that here

3. https://archiveofourown.org/works/44614405

- another really good oneshot. This one is less eldest daughter syndrome and moreso exploring dick’s trauma after the catalina incident but if clark showed up right after. i think what i enjoyed most abt this fic was the vulnerability and numbness after the incident,,, def resonated with it to a degree and i liked dick and jason’s interactions, they felt realistic.

4. https://archiveofourown.org/works/41451366

- omg omg this author. This author. Phenomenal. I heavily encourage yall to read more of their stuff if you like this oneshot because all of their stuff is good. But this fic specifically was just so so so so good. I felt dick’s emotions and stress in this one,,,when you force yourself to carry the weight of your entire family’s emotional wellbeing—including your own—onto yourself, it weighs on you. So much so that its not unrealistic to go nonverbal. I just resonated a lot with this story and found that dick’s stress was extremely well written. Def one of my favs

5. https://archiveofourown.org/works/36497065/chapters/99737508#workskin

- this one. This is the favorite. It’s kind of lengthy but it’s so so so worth it. The spiraling (pun unintended) of dick’s mental wellbeing is written beautifully. Not to mention the core of the entire fic is dick wanting to get himself help, something that i think is incredibly important when writing abt mental health. Outside influences can only do so much and i found it really beautiful when dick finally found it in himself to stay just that much longer to check on damian. Also speaking of, the dick and damian parent/child relationship in this is just so so so good it hurts. fell in love with their dynamic in this one, especially with dick’s obsession with not letting damian carry all the weight of dick’s stress on his shoulders. That is peak eldest daughter syndrome and it was written phenomenally. Pls read this

EDIT** ADDED SOME NEW ONES

6. https://archiveofourown.org/works/36329323/chapters/90570550?view_adult=true

- this author is SO GOOD. Pretty sure ive already put another one of their fics on this list but this one is def my favorite of theirs. Just so so good

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

Every single member of the Batfamily lies about their taste in music

Damian will claim that he only listens to classical music and that everything else is beneath him.

Damian will unironically listen to trashy Arab pop and the absolute worst Bollywood songs known to man (Dick introduced him to them and he hates the fact that sometimes he gets Sheila Ki Jawani stuck in his head during missions)

Tim will put on the most ear grating hyper pop you've ever heard and claim with full chest that these is the peak of humanities capabilities with music (Damian, Jason and Steph have all tried to kill him for this take) He will also play stuff like the living tombstones and sing it obnoxiously loud when he's working on the computer.

Tim however loves his 90s grunge and it's all that's playing in his headphones. (think nirvana, pearl Jam, Melvins, Alice in Chains etc) He has tracked down so many shirts and concert posters and watched every bit of content from the older shows.

Jason will claim he only listens to east coast rap, biggie, Nas, Jay etc and maybe some older metal. He will fight you on east vs west coast music, there will be weaponry involved.

Jason likes rap music... he unfortunately prefers west coast rap and has listened to no vaseline like 500 times. He will deny this till the day he dies...again. (Dick knows and threatens to tell Steph)

Steph will steal the aux and play Taylor Swifts greatest hits until one of the Boys threatens mutiny. Every single one of the bats has had style stuck in their heads during a stakeout at least twice. She will claim that the only rap song she can tolerate in Eminem and the 7/11 is Beyoncés best song.

Steph is an underground fan, think the dude selling mixtapes on the subway type shit. She also unlike Jason genuinely loves East Coast Rap music more than anything and knows every single wu-tang clan song by heart, same with Biggie. Not only does she love the music she also spends any free time binging those "history of rap and its consequences" videos and has been a firm believer that P.Diddy had a hand in a lot of the Death row records well...deaths.

Cass, well everyone thinks Cass has really good taste bc its Cass and she has zero flaws (don't @ me) she never takes the aux and will usually listen to her music while she's chilling or doing stretches. None of them have heard or seen a single one of her playlists except Duke.

its all 2010s top 40s pop music and like the trashy kind too, Beauty and the Beat, Kesha, Katy Perry. It's her turning of her brain time and she will be straight vibing to Rude! by magic or Boom Clap or Shower. she has shown this to Duke, smirked and told him that even if he tried to tell anyone they wouldn't believe him.

Duke is the only one who doesn't... lie. He just hides a few things. Lies of omission don't count as lies when the bats will lie to you about what they had for breakfast, while they are visibly eating breakfast. Duke says he listens to everything and he does. Literally everything. His patrol Jam is offensive bc it with start with Norwegian death metal and immediately switches to "like a G6" followed by kendrick Lamar and then descendants Disney channel movie music.

Bruce... Bruce is just weird, everyone asks him and gets a different answer. Bc he doesn't... like music. Like at all. It's all noise, his mother played instruments so he learned like 14 and he hates how they all sound. He just like vague batwings fluttering in dead silence.

Dick Grayson will obnoxiously play top 40 and radio music religiously around the bats. He claims it's the best music for rhythmic acrobatics and trapeze work and that true! Jason hates this kind of music the most, it's formulaic and holds no substance and drives him insane.

But Dick only listens to that music when he's moving, flipping doing high energy stuff. When he just wants to chill? This man has the most depressing music taste you've ever seen. You know that sad song from ur favorite artist that you can't listen to without crying. Yeah that's his bread and butter. Every single song is just flat out tear inducing, some of these bands have like 100 listeners and he is one of them and it's just their saddest song that reads like suicide note. The titans have conducted an intervention bc its just... concerning. He just thinks it's neat!

Batkids parenting

Dick: Dick treats his kids like they’re adults in terms of how he speaks to them. He’ll hold his 2 year old in his arms at the museum and calmly explain the systems that are in place to create rainfall. He answers literally every question with extreme patience that “why, why, why?” Toddler era would mean he started prepping to leave the house 3 hours early because he needs time to explain things to his kids and he won’t do the “because I said so thing” even if it kills him. It also means his toddlers are insanely advanced and can by the time they’re 5-6 they can do complex physics equations while swinging upside down on the monkey bars.

Jason: spoils his kids rotten, like violently rotten. There isn’t a single thing they want that he won’t get them. Goes on patrol later to read them bedtime stories. He’s a professional helicopter parent. His kids somehow turn out extremely sweet and humble despite the fact they have never been told no. He avoids the PTA like the plague

Tim: any child Tim has is an identical copy of him and he suffers. Bc why is his four year old trying to follow out of the house. Child powernaps through life the exact same way Tim refuses to have a full eight hours no he’ll have 30 power naps tho. Which means getting any children to sleep through the night is hellish. The children are hellions and whenever he complains to Dick about them Dick just cackles and goes. YOU SEE THATS HOW WE FELT ABOUT YOU. The worst part is, they’re perfect little angels to everyone else so no one except for the people who were around to see Tim grow up believes him when he complains.

Damian: Damian’s children end up feral not because of Damian Nono they’re like Robin Dick Grayson type of feral. They have the cutest lil noses and the biggest eyes and the most angelic faces and now they’re climbing the walls. See Dicks kids do this because dick has no bones and walked on his hands before his feet, Damian’s kids do this because their older cousins are their prime baby sitters. Damian comes home one day and his 7 year old is on the chandelier and it’s a perfect match of 30 years ago when Bruce came home to Dick chilling on his vintage 18th century chandelier. Naturally he freaks and tries to yell at his nieces and nephews who see nothing wrong with this because why wouldn’t you climb walls? Dad does it all the time??? Why would you have objects high up if the goal wasn’t to sit on them. Damian might look like Talia but he feels exactly how his father did all those years ago.

In terms of behavior

Jason’s are the most well behaved in general

Tim’s are the most well behaved in public

Damian’s are little menaces but they grow out of this (somewhat)

Dicks kids are a combination of him and his partner and judging by Dicks taste and general demeanor means they never have any chill… like ever.

Hermes, a god: No mortal eyes can comprehend me, I am beyond their abilities to-- Wally, a human, coming in with snacks: o hi Hermes a;sdlkfj; I love it when comics gently make fun of trying to take themselves too seriously.

Can we please stop with the angsty everyone hates me Tim Drake stuff??

Tim is only fun as a dorky loser with the smartest mouth you’ve ever had to hear

Tim ‘damn sucks what happened to that not dick grayson Robin imagine getting blown up that’s so cringe fail lol couldn’t be me im just better ig?’ Drake.

Tim ‘it doesn’t count as cheating if I date one girl as Robin and one as Tim’ Drake?

Tim ‘me and my friends accidentally killed Santa and instead of telling anyone we all just work together to deliver Christmas gifts around the world so that no one notices’ Drake.

Tim ‘my parents love me and are busy Drake which means I must break into Dick Graysons and Kori Anders apartment bc I am a nepo baby who doesn’t need to make money and have nothing better to do that stalk people’ Drake

Tim skater boy Drake

Tim who definitely tells people he listens to indie music and pulls up arctic monkeys while actually listening to indie music he’s just doing this bc it makes purists cringe.

Dick and Tim are brothers and love each other (and yeah even though the Morrison run and Red Robin and spyral happened they still do)

Tim and Damian have a way better relationship now than when Damian was 10

Tim and Jason have the vibe that someone made Jason apologize for titans tower and Tim got so embarrassed cuz like tell me not everyone thinks the loser Robin beat him up that badly?? Like tossed him around sure, won…sure but it wasn’t that uneven? Right?

People would notice if Tim went missing the last time he was left alone unsupervised he lost a spleen and had a weird relationship with Ras al ghul. Also… they’re bats… they track everything??? They track the gram weight to the last digit of their protein powders in their heads.

Brother had one (1) angst arc. Okay

It’s done

Can we go back to slay fun Tim?? Plz

Look I’m not the biggest JayRoy fan bc I have shipped DickRoy since I was like 13. However this idea is rlly funny to me.

Bc Dick helped Roy raise Lian in the beginning when he was lost and needed to get his life together.

If Roy and Jason started dating

And Roy introduced her to his boyfriend

And it’s Uncle Dicks little brother.

You think shes calling him anything else???

Like picture this bc once again these. Characters are like 9000 years old and they do not follow the timelines of aging

Lian is born and Dick is helping Roy out in person for a long time, but by the time she’s like 6-7 Dicks very busy with Gotham and bludhaven and new York and him and Roy have had a bunch of falling outs but they’re not letting affect the kid but Dick doesn’t visit as much in person.

Lian is still very attached so Roy will sometimes call Dick on FaceTime and let Lian update him about her life and everything and ramble and for a while that’s the only times Dick and Roy have contact is the text message of

You free Lian misses you?

And Dick spoils the kid rotten, he sends her birthday presents but also half birthday and quarter birthday present. if Roy needs to be somewhere Dick will take her on a trip somewhere just the two of them.

He tells her about his family and Lian becomes obsessed with becoming an acrobat. In the way kids are this gets tacked onto everything else she wants to become

She doesn’t wanna be an astronaut no she wants to be an acrobat astronaut.

She doesn’t wanna be a doctor she wants to be an acrobat doctor.

So on

He tells her cartoon versions of what happens in his life

So the penguin is peddling drugs through the city that he’s purchasing through laundering money with illegal businesses

Becomes

A penguin walked into a laundromat and ate all the Pennies so now he has go find the penguin to get the money back.

And it’s an event when he does come to see her.

She gets so excited and happy bc Dick carries her around all the time and she gets princess treatment 24/7. And he teaches her games they used to play back in the circus and at first Roy was worried bc Dick doesn’t exactly have a scale of normal and he’s not gonna call dick and talk To him but that’s not something they’ve done in years

but then Lian falls off the monkey bars at day care and flips before landing on her feet, perfectly fine.

And when they call him about it they ask about it bc what is a kid doing with flips ofc they’re curious but whatever he is doing? The moms want to know? Is there a class because that could’ve been a really nasty fall and catching yourself is a very good skill to have especially as an active child.

And when he asks Lian if she was scared “no! It’s like game uncle Dick taught me why would I be scared!”

And Roy calls Dick for the first time in years just to talk to him not for him to chat to Lian.

And he asks and Dick just kinda awkwardly admits that that’s how his parents taught him not to be afraid of heights or falls. If you teach kids a life skill through a game they’re less likely to freak in the real life scenario. And Roy is kinda reminded why he became friends with this asshole and why he stuck around and it kinda rekindles their friendship.

And then Roy starts dating Jason and it’s on the DL, bc Jason has issues and Roy isn’t going to introduce someone who isn’t a certain thing to his child. Right.

But things are going well

Very well

And then he decides well fuck it

And they tell people

And everyone is happy for them even Dick despite his very very pained “really Roy my kid brother?”

“Are you gonna give me the shovel talk Grayson”

“God no, you’re a titan which means you’re family which just makes this weird because people I both consider family are dating.”

And then Roy tells Lian

And she is pissed

“Why is Uncle Dicks little brother here”

“Well Lian he’s gonna be around a lot more”

“Does that mean uncle dick is gonna visit more”

“No sweetie but you see uncle dick a lot, Jay over here will just be more around”

“…why?”

“Well because he’s daddy’s boyfriend now”

“Like how Casey’s new mommy and daddy are boyfriend girlfriend”

“Yeah sweetie exactly”

“So he’s gonna be like my new daddy?”

“Well no, unless you want him to but-“

“I don’t”

“What Lian-“

Lian is very angry because she wants her uncle Dick around more and when she told her friend at school her friend said that her new stepmom was around more since her and her friends dad got married

She then logically assumed the ideal way to get her uncle around more was simply to force Dick and Roy to get married.

And since Dick asks for a list of things she wants every year for her birthdays and Easter and Christmas and st. Patrick’s day and All Saints’ Day and Eid and Labor Day and Halloween and holi and Passover and … (no she does not realize not everyone gets gifts on all the holidays that exist, this is very normal to her. Roy had to rent a storage room by the time she was 5)

And Dick has never once not gotten her what she wanted (once she asked to meet the penguin who stole the Pennies and dick took her to the zoo and the showed her the penguin who had a little ziploc baggie of coins tied around its middle-she pointed out that he still had the Pennies and dick said that he felt bad and let him keep just a few)

So anyway she was gonna ask for them to get married on her Christmas list but she wanted to ride a pony and so she was gonna add it to her 1/4 birthday list but now her dad is ruining it because she knows you have to be boyfriend girlfriend before you get married and this is not fair.

So she has a parent trap style vendetta against Jason. He is Meredith Blake.

And Jason who loves little kids is devastated bc his boyfriend’s kid does not like him.

And Roy is confused bc Lian and never acted like this ever.

And Dick has no idea what’s going on bc Lian is eternally an angel with him bc he has gentle parented the shit out of her and also bc he will never see anything she does as wrong ever he knew her when she was a baby that young lady is perfect if you say a derogatory word against her he’ll steal your knee caps.

And one day Lian calls him from preschool and is like “daddy is busy he wants to ask if can you pick me up” and Dick of course says yes because they’ve done this before and sometimes you only have time to make one last phone call.

So he picks Lian up.

And Roy gets there and freaks bc where the HELL IS HIS CHILD. And bc he’s a hero he assumes his identity is compromised and calls Ollie and everything is on lockdown and WTH his going on.

And like 8 hours later Dick calls him and he almost doesn’t pick up and Jason is trying to calm him down and they’re all tracking her but on a whim he answers cuz maybe Dick can help find his baby.

“Hey Roy any ideas when you’re coming to pick Lian up or should I take a day off work tomorrow?”

“What?”

“Dude are you okay you sound wrecked what the hell happened”

“Lian is with you?”

“Yeah- what’s happening Roy?”

“Why is LIAN WITH YOU?”

“She…called me to tell me you were busy and needed someone to pick her up.”

“I-“

“Roy is everything okay”

“She- she called you?”

“Yeah? from the school telephone the same way she does Everytime you have a mission. Roy brief me? Are you okay? Is? Is Jason alright?”

“Can- put Lian on the phone right now.”

“Roy-“

“NOW GRAYSON!”

“Yeah sure okay”

“Hi daddy!”

“Lian why did you ask Dick to pick you up?”

“Yep!”

“Why?”

“Because you were busy”

Deep inhale “who told you I was busy”

“You did”

“I did not-“

“Yeahhh u did, you said you would be with Uncle Dicks little brother”

“What does that have to do with-“

“Go be gross with him I’m mad at you”

“You’re mad at me, young lady I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU FOR HOURS.”

“Why? Just because you forgot about uncle dick doesn’t mean I did”

“Wha- Lian what are you talking about”

They go to Dicks apartment and Lian explains that she is very cross with Roy because he knows uncle dick is her favorite baby sitter and it’s not fair that he gets to marry Jason when Dick is her favorite and since everyone knows that it’s babysitter and dad , boyfriend girlfriend, married. And that’s how Roy finds out that Casey’s new mommy used to be her babysitter and his daughter has been under the assumption that him and Dick were gonna get married since she was four.

And it’s annoying because Jason has never babysat her this whole time and Dick is her favorite baby sitter and he’s dating Dicks brother like that’s the wrong one dad.

Anyway Dick excuses himself to laugh until he cries in his room and Roy is bluescreening while staring at his daughter.

They clear some stuff up but when she’s mad she still calls Jason uncle dicks little brother.

Kind of ironic how one of Xie Lian's titles is "The god-pleasing crown prince" when the one thing he does consistently without fail is piss off the Heavenly Emperor.

You need to count your days.

what have I done to deserve this :(