But Also My Favorite Thing To Do Is Incorporate Dicks Fanon Character Into His Canon One

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

Forever trapped in each others orbits but gravity keeps us away (DickRoy)

Immediately followed by

Dick Grayson x anyone remotely morally ambiguous (I see u tiger, JGJ, Kori, Helena, Joey I see you and I love you)

Jason Todd x completely normal civilians (bc it would be so funny)

Or

Jason Todd x women that can kill him (asphyxiation via thighs or actually will shoot him)

Put Tim in a throuple as long as Kon is there (Bernard or Bart is ur choice)

Damian must follow his fathers footsteps and date dangerous women I fear (or a Superman what who said that)

And Stephanie brown should date me actually so no one

Stephanie brown 🤝 Dick Grayson

Being the only likable bats

Dick Grayson absolutely pulled off the mullet and the suit and we all know it stop lying to yourselves

Dick:….

Jason:….

Tim:….

Dick: okay so was anyone gonna tell me Bruce is dating Joe Chills daughter or was I supposed to figure that out by myself.

Jason: HES WHAT

Tim:???????

Damian: I think I just threw up in my mouth

Cass: …is this that Freud guy you were telling me about?

Steph: somehow worse? I think?

Jason: Idk where does dating the daughter of your parents murderer fall on the Oedipus scale of morality?

Tim: more importantly where did you find out this information?

Damian: please tell me it’s a tabloid so I can bleach my brain of this conversation.

Dick: Babs tipped me off that something was up and I stalked em for a week

Tim: Ah classic

Jason: you really have one trick Grayson

Dick: Hey! No I do infiltrations, Tim and Cass are the stalker duo

Cass: *nods*

Jason: so… Bruce is actually dating the kid of the guy who offed mama and papa Wayne. That’s cold. I’m a little impressed actually.

Tim: Clark was RIGHT THERE

Dick: so was Selina

Steph: we could’ve had a Step wonder mom

Cass: you’re not adopted

Steph: is Wonder Woman was in this family I’d marry into it

Tim: *nods solemnly* Bernard would understand

Jason: Talia was there

Damian: that might be worse actually

Tim: nothing is worse than this

Dick: actually I might agree with Damian

Dick: anyway zatanna

Jason: didn’t you date her

Dick: that’s another timeline ignore it

Tim: Constantine

Damian: Dent

Dick: I’d take viki vale over this

Jason: same

Dick:…hey Duke can see into other realities right

Jason: depends on the writer..

Dick: when does he get back from his families

Tim: he stops by for 45 mins to steal some pastries and check his gear before patrol

Dick: … wanna see if we can get him to look into other realities and see the worst person Bruce has dated

Jason: yes

Tim: yes

Damian: no

Cass: yes

Steph: yes

Dick: you’re outvoted Damian I’ll see all of you tomorrow at the cave bright eyed and bushy tailed!

I need in my life Tim Drake who does rely on adults but really only one and Bruce is jealous as fuck about it.

"Tim where's your spleen, why haven't you told anyone about this"

"I told Dick what you talking about"

"Tim you played baseball in outerspace why didn't you call for backup?"

"I called Dick"

Why didn't you tell us you were bisexual"

"Dick's known for years? Wym?"

You see my vision Bruce, Alfred, Jack Drake I need these adults pushing for Tim to talk to them or ask for help and this boy to just constantly be like Dick knows, I called Dick, why would I call you.

Dick's sitting pretty knowing everything not surprised by a single fact because if it's the stupidest thing or the most important guess what Tim called him.

The man knows and sees all because Tim heard once that you tell a trusted adult important stuff and well Tim has only ever trusted one.

More headcanons bc I’m alone on new years

(Yes precrisis Dick became nightwing at 19 but too much shit happens and I mix timelines DONT YELL AT ME)

But I love the idea that Dick was just pint sized for all of his Robin run. Like he’s an acrobat we can fully utilize the fact he was mid waist sized for nearly every adult he interacted with until he was like 16-17.

Late bloomer Dick Grayson who can pass for 12 at 15

And then him and Bruce fight and Dick becomes nightwing and all that jazz

And finally FINALLY his growth spurt hits and he drops the baby fat and all that in like 4 months.

And then he becomes nightwing

And he went from like 4’0-4’10 during his whole Robin run and now he’s cresting at 6’0

And living with Wally means that the boy EATS SO MUCH VERY FAST bc u snooze you lose

So he packs on the pounds and skips that awkward gangly stage and all the adorable lil baby fat on his face is sacrificed to the puberty gods in exchange for a sharp jawline and sharper cheekbones

And the titans and the league don’t rlly get along in the early years so we can assume the only person from the league dick has seen or spoken to is Clark

And then they meet again

And the justice leagues BABY is now a like a full grown man

Like he’s GROWN

And Bruce is going through a crisis bc yeah he’s not dicks dad according to dick but he watched him grow up, he raised him?

He was there for every play, show, report card, every doctors appointment and his boy was so small

And now Dick his tiny little Robin is well he’s damn near Bruce’s height?

He somehow turned around and missed his boy becoming a man

He might not be Dicks dad but Dick is definitely his kid

And his kid isn’t a kid anymore?

And then there’s the voice??

Because sure nightwing jokes around all the time but in comparison to the lil bobbin Robin with his “HOLY ——- BATMAN” and his bad puns and his habit of bat-ifying literally everything in existence

But when he’s in charge?

Of a team?

When he’s given responsibility

Yeah no he’s calm, commanding and authoritative. He’s who everyone in the titans looks to for orders even if it means turning their back on the bat.

And yeah?

He’s proud, so so proud of the amazing man Dick grew into both because and despite of him.

But hes also in misery because he feels like he missed that. He wasn’t standing by Dick through that. How could he be when Dick is too hurt to call and Bruce is too scared to ruin things by calling?

Dick Grayson was always his greatest pride and joy, his biggest achievement and now… his boy doesn’t need him anymore

Then Jason comes back

And he’s bigger and meaner and angrier than all hell and Bruce wonders if he’s cursed to never watch his boys grow up.

(Thank god Tim refuses to get taller)

-I am working on a fic for this but I am a bad writer so if anyone has recs plz donations

Dick Grayson being a fox in beast world is wrong

(Working with actual animals instead of the furry ones in the comic bc I can)

I disagree okay

Dick Grayson is 1000% a massive dog that’s like 99% wolf dna 1% dog dna. Massive terrifying ass canines with the slightly slanted reflective wolf eyes that look like satan himself came down and designed the Grimm okay. He also is the massive dog that behaves like he’s a Pomi sized puppy stereotype

My evidence for this

- have you ever seen big dogs jump 10 feet in the air to go cuddle their owners. Dick 100% does the big dog defying gravity for sake of human affection and also too see if can vibes big dogs exude

- he is very very sweet but also if he crashes out he’ll rip you esophagus out with his teeth (90s nightwing)

- he absolutely scruffs cat!Damian with his teeth

Follow up to this:

Tim is a Robin

Damian regularly tries to eat this Tim

Steph is 100% a Goldie (best girl)

Jason is the chihuahua that thinks a big dog as Robin

Jason RH is a rottie

Cass is a lil friendly church mouse (silent, adorable, can bring down the plague) or a rlly pretty rainbow snake your choice

Babs is a cat bc she and cats both sleep as close as humanly possible to computers

Now some of you might be like “Bruce is a bat, Bruce is a Great Dane” wrong

Bruce has been herding around the league and his collection of tiny bird themed children that’s a whole as Shepards dog

Not “Only my reading of canon is correct” or “Interpretations are subjective and all valid” but a secret third thing, “More than one interpretation can be valid but there’s a reason your English teacher had you cite quotes and examples in your papers, you have to have a strong argument that your interpretation is actually supported by the text or it is just wrong and I’m fine with telling you it’s wrong, actually.”

Dick looking for Jason

Dick: Jason?

Dick: Jay?

Jason: *Sitting in the corner of a dark room*

Dick: Ok.