The Hero Refuses To Celebrate Their Birthday With Their Friends Because They Think The Villain Is Planning

I was raised to gobble on harsh words only,

My food pipe has stretched to swallow slanders,

My stomach has a special kind of acid to melt metal;

And my intestines are meant to grind any remaining matter to fine dust.

How to deal with kind words?

Of that, I have no idea.

Are they supposed to loll in my mouth like caramel candy

Or melt like chocolate?

Will the honey sting if it touches my bleeding tongue?

It will be lost between the blood and spit before reaching my stomach anyway.

—Be gentle with me please.

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Are you a 'Tol pins smol to a wall with dagger to their throat'gay or are you a 'smol pins tol to the floor while straddling their waist'gay or are you a 'Tol is tied to a chair while smol uses a knife to lift their chin'gay

Pls help me reach 200 follows.

So i got locked out of my account for like a year straight, so anyways how's it going

When enemies have to work together to infiltrate some grand party and act like a couple to blend in. Ah, good stuff.

Dancing in order to spy on everyone and one of them keeps getting too invested on someone they're watching and end up too close to the other.

"Someone's coming! What should we do."

"Hmm, I wonder. What could two young attractive people be doing here in this dark hall."

"ahh..."

One is walking by a broom closet door and the other's hand darts out and pulls them in, putting a finger to their lips.

"You two are such a cute couple." A *wraps their hand around B's waist*

B *smiling pointedly* "Yeah we are."

Is there a name for what I call the,, really? Them?,, Trope wherein the crusher realises their feelings and is in absolute disbelief over it because... It's them! That really stupid person! The one that always smiles like an idiot and trip on their own feet/ are cold as ice,

Everything is top tier

The 'ha! what a dumb bitch, But I love them' looks, top tier

The, 'youre ugly when you cry' (adoring) chefs kiss

The constant absolute roasts

The pining

THE PININg

Hero gets a hold of villains blueprints/plans. BUT the hero is a huge nerd and the villains plan is full of mistakes.

"Are you kidding me?! The estimation of *scientific jargon* is so *scientific jargon* it's gonna vapourise... But, but if we change this variable then *scientific jargon* it can work— I mean not, I uh mean ah your plan is correct. You should ah totally go through with it.

"Hellooo? Anyone there?"

"...No."

"What the— wait, did you get yourself stuck in a trap? Wait a second," the hero couldn't stop their giggles, "in your own lair, and was that meant for me! How did it even happen, pssshh"

"Stop laughing and get me out of here."

I'm trying to get to 500. Pls follow if you'd like more

If your villain disguises themselve to seduce the hero, they legally have only two options going forward.

They fall in love with them in disguise but the hero is 100% not interested, saying they are in love with someone else, unbeknownst to them the one they're in love with them is their villainous form (because the hero has read one too many enemies to lovers books)

Or, or, The hero IS interested, and the villain vigorously denies their own feelings telling themselves it's all part of the plan, until on a date, the hero does something for them that they'd never do for them as a villain (I watched this drama about basketball rivals where A always wins until B plays in disguise and they let them win and they staight up loose it because they're so hurt, it still lives in my head rent free) and so the villain angrily reveals their identity. But the hero is just like, 'duh, I knew. Literally all you did was put on a wig, dumbass' (even better if their shapeshifter or something so they didn't have any way of knowing but still they just kNoW, you know)

The hero and villain fighting and the villians keeps using more and more power pushing the hero farther and farther back as they laugh at the hero trying to fight back and taunt and tease them, the hero biting back their responses. They use a blast a bit too strong and hero is thrown from their spot, the villain laughs and then stops when the hero doesn't reply. Tentatively saying hero and holding their breath waiting for a response, the panic finally settles as it doesn't come. Rushing to the hero's side to find them seriously hurt. Hurriedly taking them to be treated and the villian being overcome with guilt because they've been so disconnected with humanity for so long that they didn't even consider the possibility of the hero being hurt. They didn't want that.

(but I do. Can I have more of that)

Grumpy x sunshine but sunshine is the villain

Unrestrained crackling as the building they're standing on crumbles beneath their feat. Arms open ready to fall into sunlight.

Laughter behind the hero as they search for them in abandoned castles. Sudden appearances and teasing touches.

The grumpy hero who tells hungry children to fuq off to their faces and put homemade food in their cloth bag at their back.

Laugh about their traumas in back alleys, and never dare admit how fervently they want to cry. Hair cut short or tied up and trying desperately to forget how deeply they feel everything

Verses the villain who has already flung themselves violently off the edge. Where the lines between cheery and good and bad and angry blur and it's hard to tell what belongs to whom