Can Someone Explain To Me WHY I Crave Alcohol Even Though Im Not An Alcoholic And Have Only Had Extremely

I just binged. fvcking two bread pieces with Nutella, a piece of cake, and juice. Oh my gosh. I’m gonna kms. (It’s like 2k+ calories all together btw.)

sighs in im sick of binging, purging, binging, chilling, purging, and then chilling all day. I can still Taste the throw up in my throat. Yuck.

atp im finna need a non-p3d0 coach becuase ive been having SUCH bad binge episodes its not even funny anymore

tip for people who are fasting !! if you can drink water i highly reccomend adding lemon and cucumber slices!! it gives the water a sweet taste,

Triggering movies/shows to watch

Movies:

•to the bone

•Starving In Suburbia

•Perfect Body

•Little Miss Perfect

•For The Love of Nancy

•When Friendship Kills

•The Best Little Girl In The World

•Thin (Documentary)

•Hunger Point

•A Secret Between Friends

•The brief life of Catherine

•black swan

•The Secret Life of Mary Margare

Shows:

•skins (uk)

•Flesh and Bone the TV show

•secret eaters

•any Victoria secret model walk shows (2000s)

•super size vs super skinny

•1000 lbs sisters

•my 600 lbs life

•Too F@t for Love

•F@t Families

craving frozen grapes cs i (personally) think they taste like ice cream but im sick so my dad wont let me have cold food 💔

a SINGLE crumb or two of (bland) rice cake entered my stomach because my father forced me to eat SOMETHING and now I feel like shit! Like I know it’s less then 4 calories for a crumb or two but still..

Chubby king

despretely in need of an almond mom, i geniunely cant do this shit alone i swear

Sensitive topic!

TW: svc1d3, mention of 0v3rd0s3, 4lch0h0l p0¡s¡0n¡ng, and s3lf h4rm as well as other issues, please read at your own risk.

basically, I probably won’t be active anymore, I’m planning on km$ today, sometime during the night. I’ve had a cranky shitty 4ss life. I don’t look forward to anything anymore and I feel like absolute shit. I’ve got everything ready, the letters, all that bs. The only thing I want for now is the final step. No quote can turn my the cogs in my brain, no kind of guilt will convince me otherwise. This has been the only thing I look forward too. And I truly, entirely cannot fathom how much I desire the mere suggestion of d34th. I feel as if my whole world lights up. And for once, as soon I take the final step, one final push, I will feel like a true free bird. Of course, I’ve always wanted to at least have some fun before I d¡3, I plan on dr¡nk¡ng down the p¡11s I’ll take, I used to just merely cvt myself yet the pleasure of bl00d flowing out is no longer enough.

goodbye cruel world, sincerely, everyx.