Emily: Wait. People actually tell their crushes they like them?
Derek: What the hell do YOU do?
Emily: I die? What kinda question...
Emily *unbuttoning shirt*: God it’s so hot in here.
JJ: I know that but why are you unbuttoning my shirt?
JJ: what is the one think i told you not to do
Emily: burn the house down
JJ: and what did you do?
Emily: i made you dinner
JJ:
Emily:
JJ:
Emily: and burnt the house down
hiii
i really hope your day is good so far❤️
i just wanted to let you know that i LOVEEEE the "don't blame me" series and was wondering when the next chapter might be out, I've also looked at your other stuff and i just adore your writing' i check everyday to see when the next chapter might be out.
that's all! just wanted to tell you this
☆*: .。. o(≧▽≦)o .。.:*☆
Hi!! I am answering this so late, so I apologize, but thank you so much! College is kicking my ass, so my updates are, unfortunately, very sporadic. But I'm working on chapter 5 of Don't Blame Me right now, so it should be out soon!
Emily: Time for plan G.
JJ: Don't you mean plan B?
Emily: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip plan C due to technical difficulties.
Spencer: What about plan D?
Emily: Plan D was that separate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Rossi: What about plan E?
Emily: I'm hoping not to use it. I die in plan E.
Derek: I like plan E.
Emily: Well, well, well, if it isn't the feelings I've been trying to avoid.
Emily Prentiss x Reader
Summary: Emily knew it was wrong. She knew you were the most dangerous woman the BAU had ever seen. Yet, she couldn't seem to stay away from you.
Warnings: Typical Criminal minds stuff, mentions of death
Words: 2.8k
Emily could feel the migraine forming behind her eyes. After hours of staring at the same case files, she still couldn't find anything. She let her head drop to her desk, hoping it would just swallow her whole and then spit her out when they made a break in the case.
"...Prentiss," At the sound of her last name, her eyes flitted to the person leaning on her desk.
"Your phone," JJ finished as she pointed to the buzzing device on Emily's desk.
"Oh, right," Emily mumbled as she gave JJ a small smile of appreciation before picking up the phone.
When she saw Y/n calling her, she returned her phone to her desk.
"Your mother?" JJ asked as she perched on Emily's desk.
"I wish," Emily muttered. Then, cursing under her breath as her phone started ringing again.
"Someone worse than your mother? Yikes." JJ said as she tried to discreetly see whoever was calling Emily as the brunette completely shut off her phone.
"You could say that," Emily sighed as she tossed her phone to the back of her desk.
Emily looked up and saw JJ still perched on her desk, giving her the look. Emily hated that look because it meant JJ was about to pry, and she did not want to tell the team that she was talking to a serial killer.
A small part of her knew she should at least tell Hotch, but she couldn't risk him cutting off her only means of communication with Y/n.
"Did you need something, JJ?"
"Well, I was going to ask if you wanted coffee, but now I want to know who was calling you," JJ smiled, making herself comfortable on the brunette's desk.
"It's no one," Emily rolled her eyes, "And if you're going out for coffee, I'll take my usual."
"Em, come on, who else other than your mom would make you glare at your phone like that?" JJ inquired, completely ignoring Emily's request about the coffee.
"You want a list?" Emily snarked back.
"Oh! Oh! Was it, Hannah?" JJ asked, even more interested now.
"Wait, Hannah, as in your ex-girlfriend Hannah is calling you?" Spencer chimed in from his desk across from Emily's.
"I thought she ghosted you," Derek added from his desk.
The two women whipped their heads around, not even realizing that Spencer and Derek had been listening to their conversation. The glare Emily shot the younger agent made him wish he'd never spoken in the first place. Derek, on the other hand, was more than amused.
"For the fifth time, Hannah did not ghost me! It was a mutual breakup!" Emily huffed.
"Whatever you say, princess." Derek smiled, earning him another glare from Emily.
"The term ghosting became popular in 1990's hip hop- Ow!" Spencer yelped as Emily launched the stuffed animal cat that Penelope bought her right at Spencer's face.
"I wasn't ghosted! And I'm done talking to you guys!" Emily frowned as she turned her chair back to her desk and ignored the three other agents.
Derek and Spencer chuckled at her antics while JJ rolled her eyes.
"I'll be back with your coffee, Ms. Grouchy," JJ said as she pushed off Emily's desk, earning a small grumble of gratitude from the brunette.
JJ was halfway to the door when Penelope came full speed through the doors, "BAU Assemble! I've got something!" She yelled, running surprisingly fast in her high heels to the conference room.
"I guess that means no coffee," Emily grumbled as they all made their way to the round table.
As soon as everyone sat down, Penelope turned the TV monitor on and passed out numerous case files.
"In 1991, there was a serial killer that operated in rural Virginia at the same time and place that Alex Painter was murdered," Penelope explained as she pulled up pictures of about 15 women on the TV. They were all of different races but looked around the same age.
"All of these women were kidnapped, held for a week, and then dumped in the woods. They were all beaten, barely recognizable by the time their bodies were found." Penelope continued, making a point not to look at the crime scene photos.
Rossi looked between the case files and the TV when a spark of recognition came to his eyes, "I remember this. Gideon was the lead profiler on the case. They called the killer The Wood Stalker"
Back then, the BAU members worked solo, only using each other as consults rather than working on cases as a team. "I helped Gideon build a profile, but he never found the guy." Rossi finished.
"That's right," Penelope agreed, "In March of 1992, The Wood Stalker vanished. And with no leads or suspects, the case went cold."
Emily frowned as she looked over the case. There was something off, but she couldn't put her nose on it, "So how does Alex Painter tie into this? She's not in any of these files."
"Ah, right! Thank you for the segway, my brooding brunette," Penelope said, and no one even batted an eye, used to the technical analyst's ways by now.
"While you guys are the profilers and I am the mere but mighty technical Goddess-"
"Garcia." Hotch intervened, raising an eyebrow to keep the blonde on task.
"Right." Penelope nodded, "I found it odd that Alex Painter wasn't mentioned in any of the files, especially since she matched victimology."
"Why did they rule her out as one of his victims then?" Derek asked as he flipped through the case file. "I mean, we know now that Y/n killed her. But if all I was looking at were these files, I'd agree that The Wood Stalker killed her. It seems negligent to not even investigate her death."
"That's what I was thinking! And we all know Gideon is very thorough." Penelope said, and a slightly uncomfortable wave washed through the room.
"That's one way to describe him," Spencer muttered as he stared down at the table.
Rossi was about to say something in his friend's defense, but Hotch shook his head, not wanting to further the conversation.
It had been less than a year since Gideon left without a word, and the team had mostly moved on. But it was still a touchy subject, especially for Spencer.
"So, who investigated Alex Painter's death then?" JJ asked, and everyone was thankful that she had cut the awkward silence that had fallen around them.
"Well, this is where things get even more odd," Penelope said as she pulled up the picture of Alex's file. "Detective Anthony Scott was the lead on her case. So I did some research on the guy, and to an untrained eye, he seems normal."
"Well, you are far from normal, baby girl." Morgan complimented, and Penelope smiled. "Very true. Anyways, I dug a little deeper and found that Detective Anthony Scott doesn't exist."
"What do you mean he doesn't exist?" Emily asked, a skeptical brow raised.
"I mean that someone very tech-savvy created Anthony Scott. I'm talking bank accounts, birth certificates, marriage licenses, and more." Penelope continued.
"Why would someone go through all of that trouble to cover up who investigated Alex Painter's death?" JJ asked. And once again, the team felt like they were getting into something a lot larger than they were hoping for.
"Could it have been Y/n?" Derek asked.
"Why would she try to cover up something she already told us about?" Emily countered, more defensive than she would have liked, but she would think about that later.
"Yeah, and there's no way Y/n could have created an identity that thorough. There's only a handful of people I know that could do that, but they wouldn't have any reason to." Penelope agreed.
Emily bit her bottom lip in concentration; she knew what this sounded like. Fake identities that seemed too good to be true. Seemingly unimportant cases swept under the rug...this had CIA written all over it. And if the CIA was involved, it meant that whatever information they had now was all they were going to find.
But how on earth did the CIA get connected to all of this?
Maybe she could make a couple of phone calls. Contact some of her old handlers and see if they could find anything pertaining to this case.
"Why aren't Gideon's notes in here?" Hotch asked, pulling Emily out of her head as she realized she had missed whatever the rest of the team was talking about.
"Well, since it was before I came to the BAU, his notes weren't digitalized. And when I went down to the archives, almost everything about this case was gone." Penelope said regretfully as she took a seat, having no more information to give the team.
"His notes should still be in there, though. The case is still classified." Spencer said, and it affirmed even more to Emily that the CIA or some other agency has something to do with this.
"I feel like there's dead ends everywhere we turn with this case," JJ muttered, and the team silently agreed.
"I know we all feel a little discouraged, but we are further than we were yesterday. I'll call Gideon and have him come in as soon as possible. Hopefully, he can provide us with more information. But for now, let's get back to work," Hotch said quickly before dismissing himself to his office, leaving the team in a little shock. Hotch was never one to give a pep talk, so maybe this was even worse than they imagined.
"I'll give Gideon a call, too," Rossi said as he left for his office, not wanting to see the other agents' reactions. It was an odd situation, the complex feelings he had for his friend were different than those of the younger agents.
But Gideon was also one of Rossi's oldest friends, and after everything they'd been through, he still had respect and loyalty to him. So, he did not want to hear what the other agents had to say about him.
"Has anyone talked to Gideon recently?" Penelope asked in the conference room, trying to break the ice since the topic of Gideon was now unavoidable.
"Since he left all of us with a note?" Spencer asked sarcastically, a tone that surprised everyone, "No," He continued as he gathered his stuff and practically stormed back to his desk without looking at anyone else.
"I was just..." Penelope trailed off sadly, not having predicted that reaction from the youngest profiler.
"It's not your fault, Pen, it's just a hard subject for him," JJ said as she squeezed Penelope's shoulder.
Emily had stayed relatively quiet on any subject that involved Gideon. She shared vastly different opinions on the older agent than her friends did.
She knew that Gideon didn't like her. In fact, everyone knew, because it wasn't like he tried to hide his disdain.
Towards the end, he tolerated her, but the way he left and the effect it had on everyone just solidified her dislike of him, not that she would ever voice that aloud.
"I'll go talk to him," Derek said before leaving the room and leaving the three women to themselves.
It was silent for a moment before Emily's phone started to buzz. She sighed and ignored the look JJ sent her as she picked up her phone.
Y/n (1:34 PM): Call me back tonight. I have a surprise for you.
Emily (1:34 PM): I don't like surprises.
Emily typed back before pocketing her phone. She heard her phone buzz again, no doubt another text message from Y/n, but she did not want to deal with this right now.
"What was that?" Penelope asked as she motioned her hand towards Emily.
"What was what?" Emily played dumb with a shrug.
"Don't even try, Pen. She's been like this all day." JJ rolled her eyes.
"Who is causing you to glare at your phone like that?" Penelope pressed, ignoring JJ.
"It's no one," Emily said as she grabbed her case files and started to stand up, not looking at either blonde.
"Emily! Indulge me in something that is not this case!" Penelope begged, always the one to get into people's business.
Emily scoffed, finding it quite ironic that the person she was texting was the reason for this case. "It's a personal matter."
"Even better!" Penelope continued, earning a stifled laugh from JJ.
She rolled her eyes, knowing that no one was going to give this up any time soon, "Fine, you know what? It is Hannah! Now, can everyone just mind their own business?!"
"Hannah unblocked you?!"
"What? How do you know she blocked me?!" Emily gaped at Penelope and then instantly realized that was a stupid question.
"Never mind. I'm done talking. And stop hacking into my phone!" Emily practically growled before exiting the room, leaving the two blondes wide-eyed.
"Well, we know it's not Hannah," Penelope said, earning her a slap to the shoulder.
"She's going to kill you," JJ said as she gathered her stuff, and Penelope just shrugged it off. Emily had always been all bark and no bite. She was a secret softie once you got to know her.
"Where are you going?" Penelope pouted, not wanting to be left alone.
"I'm going to buy her a coffee before she kills me too."
●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●
It was after eight by the time Emily unlocked her apartment door. The team had been working nonstop for hours, but it felt like the more they uncovered, the more questions that arose.
Eventually, Hotch sent everyone home, stating that they should just wait for Gideon to tell them everything he knew before jumping to conclusions.
But Hotch and Rossi were having trouble reaching Gideon, and if they couldn't contact him, then this shitstorm of a case was going to take even longer to solve.
So when Emily fell onto her couch, she didn't even have the energy to take off her shoes, let alone cook anything. She stared at the ceiling for a solid five minutes before remembering Y/n's text.
She reached for her phone and opened Y/n's text from earlier in the day that she never looked at.
Y/n (1:35 PM): I promise you'll like this one.
Emily sighed as she debated whether or not she should call the younger woman.
Ultimately, she gave in, knowing, at the very least, Y/n would reveal something new.
She quickly dialed her number before she could talk herself out of it.
"I was wondering when you were going to call," Y/n answered after the third ring, a cocky smile evident in her face.
"It was a long day at work, thanks to you," Emily answered shortly as she sat up fully on the couch, crossing her legs under her.
"To me? So you're thinking about me all day long?" Y/n grinned. Something was going on in the background of wherever Y/n was, but Emily couldn't decipher what it was.
"Don't flatter yourself. The only reason I'm thinking about you is because you've murdered 300 people." Emily scoffed.
"300 men, not people." Y/n corrected.
"What about Alex Painter? She wasn't a man."
"Really? Is that all you've got on her so far?" Y/n chuckled.
"Pretty much. And you knew that the information you gave us would only lead to dead ends." Emily remarked.
"Alls fair in love and war, darling. And besides, I thought the BAU was the best. I have to say, you guys are disappointing me."
"Disappointing you?! That's rich," Emily scoffed and was reminded once again that she was talking to a psychopath.
"It is rich! Because I'm starting to get bored, and you know what happens when I get bored." Y/n started, and Emily heard the sound of a door slam on the younger woman's side of the phone.
"What was that?" Emily asked as she sat up a bit straighter, a knot starting to form in her stomach.
"It's your surprise! Or did you forget why I told you to call me?" Y/n smiled.
"I told you, I don't like surprises." Emily gritted out as she heard the sound of a scuffle on the other end of the phone.
"Oh, you'll like this one!" Y/n chuckled, and then Emily heard the sound of a gunshot.
"Y/n!" Emily gaped as she stood up, hoping this wasn't what she thought it was.
"His name is Howard Barnes. Oh, wait! My bad, his name was Howard Barnes." Y/n chuckled.
Emily was frozen for a moment; her usual fast thinking was nowhere to be found.
"Don't worry, Emily. He's not your gift. He's just some perv that needed to die before he hurt anyone else. Your surprise is on his kitchen counter; I think you'll like it." Y/n smiled as she branded the angel wind behind the dead man's ear.
"I'm going to find you," Emily said, finally out of her frozen state as she shrugged her coat on and grabbed her gun from her safe.
"You have such a way with words," Y/n laughed, "Also, say hello to Gideon for me. And tell him I'm not afraid of the dark anymore." Y/n finished, and with that, she hung up.
Emily paused as she took the words in.
Y/n knew Gideon?
So Gideon had to have been involved in Alex Painter's investigation. Further proving that someone wanted this case covered up.
But why?
Christ, everything is even more confusing now, Emily thought as she dialed Hotch's number.
"Hotch." He answered on the first ring.
"Y/n killed again. We need to figure out where Howard Barnes lived," Emily said quickly, trying not to think about the future conversation she was bound to have with Hotch, explaining all of this.
This was going to be a huge mess.
JJ: I feel like doing something stupid.
Emily: I’m stupid! Do me!
Emily watching JJ give birth: I didn’t know it came with a leash.
Doctor: Ma’am, that is the umbilical cord.
Emily: *laying on a pool chair unconscious*
Penelope, panicking: She’s not breathing!
Derek: I’ll give her mouth to mouth!
Emily: *opens one eye* Ew no! Let JJ do it!
*closes eye*
Spencer:
Hotch:
Rossi:
Penelope:
Derek:
JJ: GET OUT OF THE WAY, MOTHERFUCKERS
"You can start a family who will always show you love"
Summary: In which Emily Prentiss comes home to her wife and daughter after a week-long case.
Warnings: None
EMILY LET out a sigh of relief as she walked into her house and dropped her to-go bag. After a week-long case, all she wanted to do was curl up in bed with her wife. She made quick work of putting away her gun and credentials, trying to be quiet so she didn't wake anyone up.
She was in the kitchen filling up a glass of water when she heard soft footsteps walk into the kitchen.
"Mama!" Charlotte said as she ran over and wrapped her arms around Emily's leg. Emily smiled as she put the glass down and bent over to pick up the three-year-old.
"Hi sweet girl," Emily said as she kissed her daughter on the head, the smell of her shampoo already calming her senses. She smiled as she saw Charlotte's pink onesie, ever since the two of you bought it for her, she refused to wear anything else to bed.
"What are you doing out of bed?" Emily asked as she tickled the little girl's stomach. Charlotte giggled as she threw her small hands around her mother's neck.
"I'm thirsty." She said as she looked up at the raven-haired woman.
"Well, let's get you some water, and then you can go back to bed." Emily smiled as she opened another cabinet to grab a small plastic cup.
"I want apple juice." Charlotte pouted as she looked up at her mother.
She knows she shouldn't, but she could never say no to the perfected pout of her daughter. Emily knows it's because that pout is one hundred percent inherited from you.
"Don't tell Mommy, okay? It'll be our secret." Emily says as she holds out her pinky.
"Our secret!" Charlotte giggles as she wraps her pinky around Emily's. Emily adjusts the little girl to sit on her hip as she grabs the apple juice from the fridge and pours it into the light pink cup.
After Charlotte was done Emily left the cup on the sink to clean tomorrow.
She carried Charlotte upstairs and wasn't surprised when the toddler was starting to fall asleep in her arms. She smiled as she tucked her daughter into bed and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before heading to her bedroom.
As soon as she walked in she saw your sleeping frame curled up against her pillow. She smiled as she immediately walked over to you and gently brushed some hair out of your face, not wanting to wake you but needing to feel the warmth of your skin. You unconsciously nuzzled your face into her hand. "I love you," She whispered, knowing that you were still asleep, but if she had learned anything from you, it was that she could never say those three words too many times.
She quickly changed out of her work clothes and into shorts and a sweatshirt before heading to the bathroom. When she came out a couple of minutes later she saw Charlotte curled up next to you with her small arm protectively on top of your five-month pregnant belly.
Emily's heart melted at the sight.
She never thought that this would be her life.
She never thought that love like this could come so easily.
That being loved was so easy.
"You're back." You murmured as you slowly sat up, carefully placing Charlotte's head onto the pillows without waking her up.
"I am." Emily smiled as she quickly got into bed and pulled you in for a soft kiss. Your lips tasted like home and Emily never wanted to leave.
"I missed you." You mumbled sleepily against her lips.
"I miss you too," Emily said as she rested her forehead against yours. "How's the little one?" She asked as she placed her hand softly onto your stomach.
"Good. She was hungry for a new combination this week though." You yawned and Emily raised her eyebrows. "Oh, she was?"
"Mhm. She insisted I eat tuna and peanut butter every day."
Emily wrinkled her nose at the thought, "Gross."
You just shrugged as you leaned your head against Emily's shoulder, "How was the case?" You asked quietly, knowing that Charlotte could sleep through anything but not wanting to take any chances.
"Let's just say I'm very happy to be back with my girls," Emily murmured as she rested her cheek on the top of your head. You knew this meant she didn't want to talk about it yet, so you didn't push. You remembered what it was like returning from a case, the heaviness in your heart making you want to do nothing but curl up with the people you love.
You still worked at the BAU, but after having Charlotte you decided you didn't want to be in the field anymore so you mostly worked on cold cases and consults over the phone.
"I love you." You said as you fought to keep your eyes open. You wanted to spend time with your wife after not seeing her for a week but your exhaustion was getting the better of you.
"I love you more." She smiled as she kissed the top of your head. "Why don't we go to sleep? We can talk more in the morning." Emily murmured and then immediately heard your soft snores from her shoulder.
Emily held back a laugh as she gently laid the both of you down on the bed. Your ability to fall asleep anywhere and anytime had surely been passed to Charlotte.
Emily buried her face into your neck as she lazily put her arms over your stomach. She never slept well without you, so as soon as she inhaled the scent of your body wash her eyes drifted closed.
●・○・●・○・●
Emily's eyes fluttered open to the feeling of small hands on her face.
"Mama." Charlotte's soft voice whispered.
"Mhm," Emily said sleepily as she rubbed her eyes and slowly sat up. The little girl immediately crawled into the brunette's lap and looked up at her excitedly. "Pancakes!"
Emily chuckled as she brushed wild hair off her daughter's forehead. "You want pancakes?"
"Yeah!"
Emily happily agreed, knowing that the two of them could surprise you with breakfast in bed since you were still fast asleep.
By the time they got downstairs, Charlotte was already chasing Sergio around the kitchen. The black cat had taken a long time to warm up to the little girl, but now he was at least tolerant of her antics.
Emily put on soft music as she got out all of the ingredients. She easily whipped together the batter in minutes and then went to find Charlotte so she could put in the chocolate chips.
"Char! It's chocolate chip time!" Emily called out as she walked into the living room.
As soon as she saw the two of them she couldn't help but laugh. "Very pretty, Serg," Emily said as she looked at the pink crown Charlotte had put on his head.
"He needs a dress!" Charlotte said excitedly as she bolted from the living to the playroom and came back with a pink, doll dress less than thirty seconds later.
"Why don't we play dress up after breakfast, okay?" Emily said as she scooped the little girl up, giving Sergio time to knock the tiara off with his paw and scamper upstairs.
"Okay," The toddler sighed dramatically, another thing that Emily claims is all you.
By the time they get into the kitchen, Charlotte has already forgotten about the dress and is squirming in Emily's arm to reach the chocolate chips.
"Remember, not too much," Emily says as she hands the bag to the little girl.
"Not too much," Charlotte repeats before dumping almost half the bag in.
"Well, it's a good thing you and your mommy love chocolate chips." Emily chuckled as she took the bag from her. Before she could put it away Charlotte stopped her, "Do the trick mama!" Charlotte says excitedly as she claps her hands.
The trick was just Emily seeing how many chocolate chips she could throw into her mouth but Charlotte was insistent that she do it every time they make pancakes.
"Okay, let's see if we can break the record, Char!" Emily smiled as she placed the toddler in her high chair next to the counter.
"Yeah!" She cheered. Emily's current record was 27 consecutive chocolate chips thrown into her mouth. It would have been more if they hadn't run out of them last time.
"Alright," Emily said as she grabbed one out of the bag and then tossed the chip high and easily caught it in her mouth.
"One!" The mother and daughter counted at the same time. The game went on for another three minutes, Charlotte had stopped counting at 20 but right when Emily threw the 27th one into the air, Sergio scurried passed Emily's leg causing her to fall backward and land right on her ass, missing the chocolate chip.
"Ow," Emily grumbled as shot a glare at the cat who looked smug as he ran away. The brunette could have sworn that was the cat's payback for letting her daughter dress him up.
"Mama hurt?" Charlotte asked as she looked down at Emily with sad eyes.
"I'm okay, sweet girl." Emily smiled as she ignored the crack in her knees as she stood up. "We'll beat our record next time, yeah?" She said as she gave her daughter a high five. "Yeah!" Charlotte giggled.
Thirty minutes later, all the pancakes were done and Emily had cut up some fruit and made you tea. She put everything on a tray as she and Charlotte walked up the stairs to surprise you.
"You want to wake up Mommy?" Emily asked and Charlotte nodded excitedly.
"Surprise!" Charlotte said as she ran through the room and jumped onto the bed, shaking your shoulders with her small hands.
"Mmm, good morning Char," You mumbled as you rubbed your eyes.
"We made breakfast!" She said excitedly as she pulled on your arm for you to sit up.
"Oh, you did?" You said as you looked over and saw your wife holding a tray with a big smile.
"Mama let me put in the chocolate chips!" Charlotte said as Emily gently placed the food onto the bed and then crawled next to you.
"Wow, they look good, Char! You and your mama are the best!" You said as you gave her a quick kiss on the head before turning to your wife.
"Thank you." You smiled, giving her a quick kiss on the lips before carefully pulling the tray onto your lap.
"Always," Emily said as she placed her chin on your shoulder. She watched lovingly as Charlotte burrowed into your side, stealing fruit from the tray as you cut the pancakes.
The three of you spent the rest of the morning in bed rewatching Charlotte's favorite movie for probably the fifteenth time. But neither you nor Emily would have had it any other way.