If My Isekai Self-insert Can't Be Dick Grayson's Twink Older Brother, Mitchell Grayson, Because He's

I just watched a few episodes of Tasting History with my Dad. One of them was about breakfast in Jane Austin's time and all the cultural information surrounding that day and age was super interesting!

So now I'd like everyone to imagine Bernard having a "Cooking from the Books!" Viewtube channel with Jason (potentially still dressed as the Red Hood depending on how silly you are). Bernard will cheerfully be explaining what recipe he's going to make, what ingredients he's going to use and substitute, all that good stuff. Jason/Hood is going to be next to him, vibrating with Special Interest Excitement, ready to slam a pile of research books and looseleaf paper onto the counter so he can back up his historic and bat-level research binge.

Bonus points if this is somehow post Duffle Bag and pre Identity Reveal.

Temples are built for gods. Knowing this a farmer builds a small temple to see what kind of god turns up.

Hey, I want to share my brainrot.

Broke: Superman is actually a bad person who doesn't love his bi son Kon because he thinks the kid is going to be a future villain.

Woke: Superman is understandably standoffish to his nonconsensually created clone made to replace him when he was dead. Superman didn't step up when and how he should have - that doesn't mean he didn't have character growth and learn to love Kon, even if he have the kids a name that is a Kryptonian slur.

Bespoke: Superman would LOVE to get to know and mentor this new guy, but whenever he looks at the kid his lizard hindbrain registers DANGER and it freaks him out. He doesn't know why, there's just something intensely Uncanny Valley about Kon. Clark has never understood humans talking about creepy dolls or being afraid of mannequins until now and he doesn't know how to process it? He doesn't even know how to explain it because everyone around him is acting like Kon is perfectly normal and fine and safe and Superman's the asshole for never engaging with him.

Human scientists fucking around with alien DNA made it so that Kon is permanently sending out Aggression in subtle, Kryptonian-only ways. By scent or sub-vocalizations, or posture, or some other alien subconscious way, Kon is both peacefully hanging out with his friends and at the same time indicating that he's about to murder them. Neither Kon or Clark know this! Clark unlearned most of these instincts when he was being raised as human and is used to the people around him not hearing/seeing/tasting/smelling quite right. Until there's this guy here, serving these VIBES.

(about the slur name. Consider that Nightwing is Superman's dear friend and nephew. Consider that he calls himself Dick. Imagine if Clark named Kon "Kon" as a way to honor Dick and like, it's his genuine belief that future Kryptonian speakers will think of Kon as a name first and a slur second, because this person is going to be so amazing)

Reblog if you think fanfiction is a legitimate form of creative writing.

Can’t reblog fast enough

I HAVE SPENT. TOO LONG. TRYING TO WORD THIS PROMPT PROPERLY.

Seriously, I have three drafts and one of them is basically me just writing the fic myself...

By the time Jason is ready to be legally revived as a Wayne, the world - and Gotham, in particular - is NOT going to accept the excuse of a coma or amnesia. What they ARE going to accept is the excuse:

"Batman's cult-themed enemies used magic and science to raise me from the dead to use me as a way to stop Brucie Wayne from funding him. But I'm a bad Gotham bitch and I escaped my Rogue Origin Story. Also they cloned me, and that's why the Red Hood gets away with so much - Bruce is trying to adopt him, too, but Batman kinda has dibs on morally dubious antiheroes, so there's a custody fight."

"Yeah, they aged Hood up and planted him in Gotham before I made it home. It took me awhile, I was dodging assassins! No, he didn't know he was a clone until we met by accident when he rescued me from a mugging and turning it into a kidnapping. Yeah, the cult messed with his memories; we spent like four days going over everything."

"No, I've never subbed in as his body double, I'm traumatized by my narrow escape from supervillainy. Yes, we keep in touch."

DC world is used to weird shit by now; one guy dipping out of the enforced supervillain arc a cult planned for him would be mildly remarkable. Maybe he'd go on the Daily Show or give a few interviews about the experience.

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

Madara snarls, just barely stopping himself from wrenching Tobirama's foot away from his face, still very mindful of how he himself would react if this was his Tobi. What the actual fuck?

"I don't have a goddamn problem with blindness; I have a problem with you hurting yourself, you idiot! We all saw what happened to your arms when you took the seals off, and you said yourself that wounds don't always heal correctly. Being blind doesn't matter!" He grits his teeth and risks a glance at his Tobi, who seems to be coming out of subspace as a result of the wildly flowing chakra.

Madara clamps down on his own, forcing it under his control. The youngest one is still under and that...that's probably for the best right now. His Tobi can keep him safe, using his own chakra to block out the aggression coming from the rest of them. He speaks more carefully, lowering his voice to a more acceptable level.

"Fuck. Just. Fine. If you're into hurting like that...you know your limits. I just didn't expect you to start unsealing old wounds all of a sudden. I didn't even know those were seals; Tobi's are just tattoos."

The youngest Madara seems amazingly uncomfortable, but he nods along. He wonders if this Tobirama had lost his sight to the same people who had scarred his Tobirama's face and the thought makes something burn in his chest.

((Edited content: @dahtwitchi))

[gvTobi realizes there has been a failure to communicate; SugarTobis were not blind from birth like he was.]

[gvMadara changes the subject via felating gvTobi's fingers. It's super effective!]

((Return to: @donkoogrr))

"Nooo?" SugarMadara sits back on his heels. "You are...it doesn't hurt you, then?"

Embarrassment tries to take a hold of him and a red flush makes its way over his face. He isn't sure why; he had had a perfectly logical reason for thinking that this Tobirama had been wounded.

He looks over at his boy apologetically and winces. His Tobi has had a history of subdrop when brought out unexpectedly and...he seems to be holding it together for his younger self's sake. Madara knows that look, though, recognizes the tightness around the eyes and the way he's curling in on himself.

He reaches out to wave him and his other self in closer as the oldest Madara very effectively distracts his Tobirama.

"Hey, Tobi, it's okay now, come a little closer; I Want to give you a good show. I bet that younger you is wanting to watch, too. How about you let him rut against you while we give you something pretty to look at?"

Hello, yes, can I get uhhhh an Outsiders-View fic of the general Crime Alley population slowly gaining respect for the weird yellow-haired kid who's apparently banging Red Robin into a new state of existence?

No one knows exactly who he is, but whenever they see him around they spread the word to stay away from dark alleys. There are some sights goons just don't want to risk seeing; Red Hood might take your eyes for it or something.

More freaky timbern?

Sigh... Do your parents not feed you? Guess I'll have to U_U

SEXUAL CONTENT AHEAD!!!

Bernard and Tim, making out in the corner of a sofa:

Dick, walking in: Hey T... REALLY!? IN THE FAMILY SITTING ROOM!?

Tim, panting as they break for air: Sorry, uno got intense.

Dick: This happened because of an uno game?

Bernard: We'll use any excuse, really.

—

Tim, slipping inside quietly:

Bernard, flicking on the lights: Are you injured?

Tim: No—

Bernard, instantly tackling him to the nearest flat surface to kiss him:

Tim: ?! Woah! Woah, you good? Are you okay?

Bernard: Yeah just really horny, your a#& looks great by the way.

Tim: Oh, okay—

Bernard: Sex?

Tim: Sex. Yeah. Continue.

—

Tam: You never looked at me like that when we dated.

Tim: You walked in on Bernard and I having sex in my office?

Tam: My point stands.

—

Tim, post getting his back blown out: . . . Is it psychological torture to eat a fish in front of a fish?

Bernard, just got done cleaning up: Fish are dumb.

—

Tim, cursing in French mid sex:

Bernard: Oh, that's hot.

—

Jason: Why are you in Crime Alley talkin' to the workin' ladies??

Bernard: I like to ask for tips.

Jason: . . . What?

Bernard: We exchange them, actually.

Jason: . . . YOU ASK THEM HOW TO PLEASURE MY LITTLE BROTHER!?

Bernard: They don't go around telling anyone. We talk politics, too, sometimes.

Jason: You're a weird little man.

Bernard: This little man f-#%$s your little brother!

Jason: i. . . y'know what? I'm with Dick now, STAY AWAY FROM MY BROTHER, FREAK!

Bernard: MAKE ME!

Jason, pulling out a gun:

Bernard, already running: Poor choice of words!

—

Bernard, sending a photo to the Young Justice group chat of him next to an unconscious, shirtless Tim with the caption "Guess what we just did!":

Kon, immediately replying: Twister.

Bart: Baking.

Cassie: Sex.

Bernard: Actually he got stabbed in the abdomen, he taught me how to do stitches! #CoupleGoals

—

Tim: Ugh, I think I have internal bruising...

Jason: Pfft, get your a#& kicked?

Tim: No, pounded.

Jason:

Tim:

Jason:

Tim:

Jason:

Tim: Karma for what happened at Titans Tower.

Jason:

—

Cass: I fear pregnancy, the loss of autonomy, control of my life? It scares me, the thought...

Tim: Damn, after Bern and I have unsafe sex I usually just pray to Cassie's aunts and uncles and list off the reasons I'd be a terrible parent.

—

Tim: We can either have sex or play Minecraft.

Bernard: . . . This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make.

Tim:

—

Tim, in his Red Robin uniform, straddling Bernard's lap and making out with him in an alleyway:

Bernard, pulling his hair:

Tim: Ugh... We should really stop.

Bernard: Mm, why, love dove? Don't need to if you feel good...

Tim: If we get caught Batman might actually kill you...

Bernard: I'd die a happy man~~

Barbara: Red Robin, you never turned your comm off.

Tim:

Barbara: I turned it off for you when Bernard started talking dirty to you, but you've traumatized Robin, and Batman is on his way.

Bernard: . . Tim?

Tim: F&#$!

—

Comic book history is so much fun and such a fascinating way to measure the changes in society. In fact, it can be super interesting to measure any society by what censorship laws are in place at any point in time!

I'm not sure about OG Joker being gay, but I do know that sexual deviancy was not allowed to be shown, and since we queers are deviant by default, we weren't exactly in the spotlight.

If you're up for a good read, cbldf.org has a great article from 2012 by Joe Sergio. "Tales from the Code: How Much Did Things Change After the Enactment of the Comics Code of 1954?"

And Academia.edu is a fantastic resource for even more reading!

Me, skimming pages of Batman year one and two, with Jaybin: . . . The f#&% you mean Batman has killed before in self defense? •-•

WHAT!!!??? BATMAN HAS KILLED PEOPLE!?!?!? ._.

This... This messed with my character analysis so much.

WHAT. DO. YOU. MEAN?!

"I'm glad they're dead!" Careful, Jason, the writers took that singular comment and haven't let it go since.

Also, just shout out to Jaybin for being all cute and >:/ and :D

My problem is that I have the heart of a Robin with the body of a Penguin.

The world isn't ready for another Danny Devito I gotta try to make things better for my next round

Jason is the most impregnate-able Bat because we all know by instinct that he'd rearrange his entire life to take care of his kid.

He's not just a Daddy, he's a Father. He would nurture the fuck outta that kid. He would read all the most accredited books, he'd be active on the parenting blogs, he'd be there at the PTA meetings.

Jason would be that special mix of terrified and excited to help this child grow up. He's the parent that a kid won't be too afraid to call when they've done something really stupid and they need help now. He's the parent who will work so hard during arguments to try to say the right thing.

We can all see Jason "Get Him Pregnant" Todd being such a loving dad at every milestone in his kid's life that we can't help but want to give him that kid.

(This message was sponsored by the supporters of @arandomao3user's campaign to get Jason Todd Pregnant.)