I Just Watched A Few Episodes Of Tasting History With My Dad. One Of Them Was About Breakfast In Jane

Man, sometimes I read a fic where their version of Superman is so flat he couldn't even cause a papercut and the favored characters are all "Superman is the type of person who always thinks he's doing the right thing" and "Superman doesn't accept criticism" and "Superman is a bumbling farm boy hick stupid head" and "the Justice League is a bunch of elitist hacks and their club is only to hype themselves up because narcissism".

And I gotta. Like. Okay? That's a take, I guess. That's an opinion. It always takes me out of the story though, because it's presented as a known fact of the world of the fic despite little to no indication of those truths being reflected in the rest of the fic. It's a weird whiplash and it always leaves me almost ravenously curious as to what influenced this perception.

Sometimes it's explained as an unreliable narrator, sometimes an author's note will shrug off responsibility with "someone has to be the asshole lol", and sometimes it seems to be really and truly genuine and that is fascinating to me. I want to know the why's. I want to take them for coffee and listen to their perspectives. I want to understand.

One of my favorite Batman and Superman team up comics has a pre-jl storyline where they don't trust each other just yet. And because they don't trust each other, they both leap to save the life of a criminal being thrown out a window - they can't be sure the other won't just let this awful person die "accidentally". And because they were both distracted by that, an innocent hostage ran into the street in a panic and was struck and killed by a truck.

It was such a needless death. It was so bullshit and pointless. Both Superman and Batman recognized the need for trust, the need to let themselves be known enough, vulnerable enough, to not have this happen again.

And can y'all imagine how both their stories might have changed if future writers, canon and fanfic alike, kept that character growth in mind?

Another post reminded me of Jason Todd's very very first appearance and how he was also a circus-raised orphan who wanted to get revenge for his parents' murder, except this time he has red hair.

He got super retconned, obviously, and I think this version of him got unmade during the Crisis on Infinite Earths... But I like to think that The Prodigy is his spiritual reincarnation. I mean, they're both redheaded circus boys who wanted to be seen at Dick's brother, both "replaced" Dick and he didn't take it well, both went through a career-ending beating.

And just in general, redheaded Jason specifically haunts a lot of stories. I recall a Justice League one where a baddie put the League into their dream worlds - and Batman's was one where he and Selina were married and retired, where Tim had taken on the role of Batman with a Robin of his own.

Tim's Robin? Bruce and Selina's redheaded son.

I think this indicates as well that, at the time, Bruce didn't want Dick to be Batman. Nightwing is who Bruce wishes Batman could be, having him take over would be a downgrade for Dick. I also think that at that time he very much considered Tim to be capable of becoming a better form of Batman, one he could trust in enough to actually let go of his city.

Idk I'm just in a mood to push all these concepts together and gesture "you get me?"

I think I've been reading Bernard's name with the wrong pronunciation for years. I didn't watch many shows and I haven't played the games so I haven't actually heard the canon pronunciation of Bernard and now I'm having a light existential crisis.

Because the second way is how it's pronounced in my region and the first way makes me think of Bianca from The Rescuers.

I think Tim's Alvin Draper persona is underutilized by fanfic authors when it comes to comedic potential.

And by that I mean I desperately need to inspire a smattering of fics that have Alvin being the Gotham Underworld's Pet Bisexual Disaster.

Everyone knows Alvin. Somehow. He's a familiar figure, been doing freelance work for years. He's always on the fringes of the Big Leagues, but never seems to have the ambition or the brains to go further. Mostly he runs messages for ol' Matches Malone, yeah, but if you've got something unique to offload or are looking to hire for a job, Alvin has an Ex.

Good Gotham, Alvin always seems to be getting into the dumbest romantic trouble. He's like a discount Bruce Wayne, all himbo with connections. He'll show up to pass on a message or to make a drop and with just a nudge Alvin will talk about his Ex who left The Business and became an actress. Or the one who had the worst luck with being mind-controlled. Or the Ex who was dead-but-not-really and hiding from the government.

Goons will find him wandering down lair corridors where he's definitely not supposed to be and they'll gently escort him out while he tells them all about his New Girl/Boyfriend who texted him this address to meet him at! Except he got the numbers mixed up, do you think he still has a chance after accidentally standing them up? He really feels a connection this time, they met while defacing the same LexCo billboard.

Or he'll be in a base to deliver a message and get distracted because he'll recognize an old associate, or a friend of a friend, and he'll stop to chat. He'll even jump in to give someone a hand with a task when he's waiting for a reply! Such a weird kid. It's hard not to like the little shit though.

Strawberry milk is so good frfr is better than actual strawberries because it doesn't make your mouth spicy afterwards

Strowburry melk

Sometimes I remember that Karl Kesel (creator of 90's Kon El) said that he thought Superboy would be bisexual because "...his sexual appetite would be quite large and far-ranging..."

And I'm like.

Bruh.

That's some stereotype right there, ayup. And yep, it fits his character to be a horny teen. But also. That's such a stereotype. And I'm glad you want him to be part of the lgbtqa+! It makes me feel like you genuinely didn't know what you said was a stereotype.

Oh, the nineties.

Damn, I'm gonna hafta stop joking that Batman's a furry because after some thought, that's a disrespectful joke. Batman is clearly not a fursona and I should know better than to kink shame like that anyway.

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

Madara snarls, just barely stopping himself from wrenching Tobirama's foot away from his face, still very mindful of how he himself would react if this was his Tobi. What the actual fuck?

"I don't have a goddamn problem with blindness; I have a problem with you hurting yourself, you idiot! We all saw what happened to your arms when you took the seals off, and you said yourself that wounds don't always heal correctly. Being blind doesn't matter!" He grits his teeth and risks a glance at his Tobi, who seems to be coming out of subspace as a result of the wildly flowing chakra.

Madara clamps down on his own, forcing it under his control. The youngest one is still under and that...that's probably for the best right now. His Tobi can keep him safe, using his own chakra to block out the aggression coming from the rest of them. He speaks more carefully, lowering his voice to a more acceptable level.

"Fuck. Just. Fine. If you're into hurting like that...you know your limits. I just didn't expect you to start unsealing old wounds all of a sudden. I didn't even know those were seals; Tobi's are just tattoos."

The youngest Madara seems amazingly uncomfortable, but he nods along. He wonders if this Tobirama had lost his sight to the same people who had scarred his Tobirama's face and the thought makes something burn in his chest.

((Edited content: @dahtwitchi))

[gvTobi realizes there has been a failure to communicate; SugarTobis were not blind from birth like he was.]

[gvMadara changes the subject via felating gvTobi's fingers. It's super effective!]

((Return to: @donkoogrr))

"Nooo?" SugarMadara sits back on his heels. "You are...it doesn't hurt you, then?"

Embarrassment tries to take a hold of him and a red flush makes its way over his face. He isn't sure why; he had had a perfectly logical reason for thinking that this Tobirama had been wounded.

He looks over at his boy apologetically and winces. His Tobi has had a history of subdrop when brought out unexpectedly and...he seems to be holding it together for his younger self's sake. Madara knows that look, though, recognizes the tightness around the eyes and the way he's curling in on himself.

He reaches out to wave him and his other self in closer as the oldest Madara very effectively distracts his Tobirama.

"Hey, Tobi, it's okay now, come a little closer; I Want to give you a good show. I bet that younger you is wanting to watch, too. How about you let him rut against you while we give you something pretty to look at?"

If you're looking for stories about adults acting responsibly and with measured calm to world-ending events and who will somehow stop the children who want to fight crime... You should probably go write that book. There's definitely an audience for it.

The rest of us are here to read stories about child heroes facing seemingly insurmountable odds and winning, even if at great cost. We're here for the drama and the crash outs and the moments of peace and the friendships forged from circumstances that none of us will likely ever understand.

They're all stories. Each character is important and exists and it's the way they are so that the story gets told. Each character is moldable and can be changed completely depending on the storyteller, because the story is the important part.