People Keep Telling Me My Job Is Supposedly Easy, But It's Not To Me. It's So Hard Every Damn Day. And

guys i actually beg of you to not let palestine become an unpleasant flashback, a transient tumblr trend, a hasbeen subject that just faded away. as an arab—and specifically iraqi—girl, i know what it feels like to have family displaced all over the world as a result of western imperialism. i know what it feels like to not be able to step foot into your homeland because it’s no longer safe. as an american iraqi, raised in the us and insulated from my roots, it wasn’t until last summer that i was able to visit iraq for the first time, and even then my family was worried for my safety—in my own blood country. although nothing like what palestinians are experiencing right now, it might be the tiniest semblance of what it feels like to watch your country disintegrate in front of you.

and this is a universal arab experience. i volunteer weekly at a refugee center that serves middle eastern refugees, and every day i see the longing in their eyes when they speak of where they hail from. it’s safe to say that we will be getting a wave of palestinian refugees very soon: just another generation of arabs who can’t inhabit their own country.

arab culture is so rich, so profound, so beautiful. i am tired of being told by the world—through literal genocide—that it doesn’t mean anything. please never let this be forgotten. free palestine. free palestine. free palestine.

trigger warning: will break your heart a thousand times

Parents always say this:

"You're smart. Therefore, it's okay for me to expect more of you."

"You're smart. Therefore, I don't have to care how I explain things to you."

"You're smart. Therefore, it's okay for me to assume that any mistakes you make are intentional."

"You're smart. Therefore, if you say that you struggle with something, it's okay for me to assume that you're just lazy, afraid, lacking confidence, lacking motivation, or any other excuse to dismiss your struggles as fake.

but never this:

"You're smart. Therefore, I will put my authority aside and consider the possibility that you are right and I am wrong.

Like any abusive authority figure, they want you to be smart enough to uphold their authority but not smart enough to challenge their authority.

When you're autistic, it's impossible to miss how much society normalizes child abuse.

I could dedicate my entire life to studying how to interact with people and I'd still never master the social skills that young children are expected to have on command.

Say the wrong thing? That's disrespectful and you're punished. And you don't even have to actually say anything wrong. Pretty much anything you say can be considered "giving lip" if your parent wants some excuse to punish you. But if you say nothing, then you get punished for ignoring. You also have to calculate your response to their mind game quickly because taking too long to respond is considered ignoring. Also, if you're being wrongly accused of something, saying nothing is considered a confession. And even if you somehow manage to say exactly what your parent wants in exactly the correct tone, they'll still punish you for "sarcasm" or "not really meaning it".

fun fact: “tired” is not supposed to be your default state of existence

Get this dog away from me right fucking now

Has anyone else’s mom ever just made a major decision that affects the whole family without consulting you? Only to put the majority of the responsibility on you? Even though she did it?  But you’re the asshole for complaining about it.

I can't stand people who constantly ask for help but try to turn around and bite you when you try to help them. If I'm pointing out a pattern in your behavior that keeps leading you to ruining friendships, relationships, etc, don't be mad at me for what you've done to yourself. If you're wondering why everyone keeps breaking up with you a you keep losing friends, and someone who literally grew up with you tries to tell you that you're the problem, then maybe you are. That's not always the case, but you can't just sit there yelling over someone because you don't want to hear it. You can just walk away.

If you're in a public part of someone's house on speaker phone, people can hear your conversation. Be mindful of yourself. If your partner tells you that you've been immature, and someone wants to help you fix that, you don't have to accept the help. But you also shouldn't be a massive douche about it. Don't beg me to help you with random things in the middle of the night (for free, I might add) and then come back later and catch an attitude with me over the smallest things.

If I've talked you out of suicide, done your homework for you (even though you always agreed to pay me but never did), covered for you to keep you out of trouble, cooked for you, cleaned up your messes, given you advice every time you asked for it, and come to get you out of a rough spot, don't snap at me over nothing and then turn around and act like it never happened just to ask for my help again. If it's mental illness, you could at least apologize, but no. Nothing ever seems to be your fault. You never see how you could possibly be in the wrong. Don't stay up until it's time for you to leave and wonder why you're tired, stressed, and sickly. Don't keep hanging out with bad people and wonder why all of you keep getting into trouble, getting arrested, and fighting each other. Don't be overly demanding of your partners, walk all over them, act like you're better than them, constantly catch an attitude with them over nothing, start arguments over tiny things, and verbally assault them and then wonder why none of your partners are what you want them to be or why your relationships keep failing. Don't run around the house, stomping, blaring music, screaming in party chat, cackling, and singing at the top of your lungs at 3 am and then wonder why everyone is annoyed and glaring at you. Don't you DARE ask for divination constantly (once again for free) and then turn and tell me that my tools are "just a stupid necklace" or "just some dumb, cheap cards" after I get upset about being disrespected. Especially knowing full well that you've done much worse for much less.

Everyone is done with you. The person who was supposed to raise you had given up, so I will too. They weren't doing a good job in the first place, but everyone can only handle so much BS from one person. A lot of the problems in your life are entirely your fault, yet you never believe you're in the wrong, no matter how many times I not only try to warn you and help to prevent these things, but also help you pick up the peices afterwards. I'm done with you. I have no more sympathy left for you. The next time you drink to much, I'm doing the bare minimum. If you're not dying, piss off. The next time you smoke too much or smoke something too strong, I'm not helping you. The most I can do is call and ambulance. The next time you threaten to end it, I'm calling an ambulance. You don't want to be sent to the psych ward, but you definitely need it. It's not because of most of these complaints either. You genuinely need someone to keep you from hurting yourself.

I hope to get away from you soon and never have to speak to you again. Every little thing you do just wears away my nerves. You like to switch up and treat people like dirt whenever your friends are around. Your voice is so loud and grating, yet you don't care that you're bothering people. You're always touching someone or their belongings without permission, no matter how many times they tell you to stop. You only care about anything or anyone when it's your partner. You'll cook a whole continental breakfast for them but won't clean up your mess. Then, you go and waste food. They never eat it and you usually throw it away. YOU'VE HARASSED AND ABUSED THE FAMILY PETS and then you wondered why they don't like you. You acted like you hated me ever time your crush or your little friends came over. You've talked shit about me within earshot, and women me up by harassing with because you thought it was hilarious. Don't forget about the time you went in my room to steal my stuff and hide it, or how you read my diary and tried to run off with it. I only hope that you stop acting like this. If you keeps this up, I hope you get what you deserve. You can run away if you want, but it won't have the effect you think it will. Someone will miss you, but it won't be me.

In short, you make my ass itch.

you know the drill, op disabled reblogs etc etc etc

It's wild how abusers will normalize things and use different language to make it sound okay.

"spanking" instead of "hitting" or "beating" unless they're threatening you. Once it's over, you got *spanked" and not "beaten."

I've known for a while that my parents were physically abusive when I was growing up, but I was afraid to call what they did "beating" until recently. I had a conversation with someone I grew up with, and that's what she called it. I was dumbfounded for a second before I stopped and thought about it. Then, I felt validated and heard.