Reblog

I woke up at 2 am bc I wanted chocolate milk I didn’t know if we had chocolate sauce so I was going to just have milk. I didn’t know it was 2 am so when I see the time while trying to get the glass I’m like welp time is a construct and it’s not going to get in the way of my milk but my parents might so gotta be quiet so I’m timing this expedition with my dads snoring bc if my mom can sleep through that noise I’m fine but if dad wakes up I’m busted so every so often I have to listen for his snoring but anyways I’m getting the milk from the fridge and up in the back corner I see the glory that is chocolate sauce so I take it for my milk and as I’m making it the milk gets to the edge of the glass but doesn’t over flow so I stared at it for a good minute then drink a bit of it if anyone in my house saw that they would freak bc 2 am demon. So I put away the milk and go get a spoon bc mix and the drawer is opened up a bit good I got my spoon put in the chocolate after closing the drawer put the spoon in and immediately make noise so I have to put away my chocolate sauce and take the chocolate treat to my room and as I’m getting close my rabbit does a thing and scares me half to death but I make it to my room and now I’m sitting at my desk drinking chocolate milk while writing who knows what this is

Are you sad that June is over and you don't have a pride month anymore? Fear not, friends! There's a different pride month just beginning! lgballt

Marry Christmas and a hope that scp-4666 enjoys its human sacrifice yet again. And to all a good night.

U ever wanna cook a pop-tart in the oven... still in the package.

Screw Natzis

Yo what the fuck

A guy walks into a bar, sits at a table and orders a beer.

He then proceeds to pull out hundreds of pink valentine’s day cards, write inside them and stamp them with “Love” stamps. He then pulls out a bottle of expensive perfume and spritzes each envelope. The bartender finally can’t contain his curiosity and approaches the man. “You must have 500 or more cards there,” the bartender says. “I’ve got to admit I’m curious what you’re doing.” “Oh, every year at Valentine’s Day I send out 500 cards, each one signed ‘Guess Who?’” the guy says. “But why?” the bartender asks. “I’m a divorce lawyer,” the guy replies.

Quack

18 knees good to know

Is anybody up for giving me their kneecaps I need bowls

I don’t think 2025s orange has good shoe laces.

Tumblr Code.

Reblog if you think fanfiction is a legitimate form of creative writing.