I Feel One Could Argue Many Things In The Apothecary Diaries Are Done Out Of Love. It Isn’t To Say

so fun fact

not to trauma dump

but i was short term hospitalized for mental health stuff 🫠

um but i’m alive! and out! and miss connecting with moots and stuff

i miss writing :( and i wanna get back into it so bad

i might tentatively start but

𝔘𝔪𝔢𝔪𝔦𝔶𝔞 ℌ𝔞𝔧𝔦𝔪𝔢 𝔵 ℜ𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔯; 𝔄𝔯𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔡 𝔐𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔦𝔞𝔤𝔢; 𝔓𝔱. 1

Inspired by @vinomino and their Kaji arranged marriage one shot

Word Count: 2,236

It was safe to say that your future had been planned out the moment your mother had learned she was pregnant with you. There had been two outcomes.

The first one, and your father’s preference, was you were born a son, not the eldest, but another heir he would be able to ensure takes over some political aspect he would hand off when he passes, someone to speak with the same ire that he holds, someone to wield his power as harshly as he does.

The second, your mother’s fear, was you were born a daughter, a much less powerful pawn, but a pawn none-the-less, someone to be married off to the highest bidder, so to say.

It appeared that the gods wished to laugh the day you were born, your father leaving the delivery room once he learned you were a daughter, the second, of his five children, and the youngest of all.

Your mother named you, your older sister, though a mere four years older than you, took a shine to your chubby cheeks and quiet giggles.

As you grew the normal childlike curiosity that your older brothers had been allowed was punished out of you, instead lessons regarding lady-like things filled your days.

Your entire life, the mere sixteen years you had lived them, all lead up to today; learning who you were to be wed to.

Your sister had been married four years prior, though the man was quite older, she got lucky; he was respectful, he was powerful and rich, he had concubines, but from the letters you got, all the women were rather kind, treating your sister with respect. You were happy for her, if not a tad bit envious.

You had met many of your father’s business partners, men his age who leered at you for far too long, and you had to fight the urge to take refuge in your mothers arms like you would as a child.

Your name was called, and you lifted your head, hands folded in your lap as your father continued reading whatever letter he had been sent, and you waited, with a level of patience you’d been forced to learn. Your mother looked anxious, face pale and eyebrows pinched.

“I have found a husband for you,” He spoke without looking your way, and your mother lowered her mug of tea, hands trembling ever so slightly; you were the last child in your home.

“He’s from the East hemisphere. He’s recently come into power, but his people seem to follow him almost blindly. He’s got strong connections, many that shall be beneficial regarding trade of resources and weapons.” He finally looked up from the letter, gaze as bored as if he were discussing the weather and not his final child’s future, “He and I have been in contact for a few weeks, you shall sail out at the end of this week. I expect to hear from you the moment your wedding night is over.”

He said nothing more, barely bidding you and your mother a goodbye or a goodnight as he left, handing the papers off to be dropped in his office. Once he was out of earshot you turned to your mother, tears building in your eyes.

“Mother— the East hemisphere?” Your voice shook, and she was quick to move from her seat, hurrying over to you, her own trembling hands caressing your face, smoothing your hair.

“I know darling,” She tried smiling at you, but with her own budding tears it looked rather forced, pained even, “Your father barely spoke to me about it before he told you. If I had known…”

The sentence lay empty because you knew— she could have fought and screamed at your father, but it would have all been for nothing. She took a shaky breath, taking your hands and pulling you to stand, arm in arm as you two walked back to your room.

“I don’t know much about him,” She admitted, “Only the parts your father cares about. He’s powerful and wealthy, he has connections and access to things we do not.”

“It’s transactional to him,” Your voice was quiet but cold, you weren’t his child you were his pawn, “Nothing more.”

She nodded apprehensively, “But some of the servants have told me he reads as a kind man, his words are thoughtful. I shall let you know more as soon as I find it.”

She kissed your forehead, leaving you alone at your bedroom door.

That week flew by, far faster than you could have ever hoped. Your clothes were packed away, any jewelry and makeup you wished to bring as well. Soon your room— your old room— lay bare, sans the bed. You were grateful that you had been allowed to bring your cat, a cuddly girl you found in the garden when you were thirteen, Cherry.

Your send off was a blur; your brain was in a fog as your mother held you, silently sobbing. Your oldest brother, who still lived nearby, his wife and his children had come as well. He was almost a stranger to you, stiffly wishing you a safe voyage, and a happy marriage. Your sister in law, pregnant with her fourth child, kissed your cheeks, telling you she hoped for your health.

Your father merely sent you off with this: “Do not disappoint me.” 

Your days at sea were long, the ocean still. You had witnessed storms destroy the docks in your hometown, and feared the worst, but she allowed you a peaceful voyage.

You spent your time playing with Cherry in your bunker, writing letters you’d send off to your mother the moment you were able, and imagining your life ahead.

All you had learned about your future husband was that he sounded kind, that he spoke of you respectfully and promised your father you’d be safe in his home. Your father hadn’t even asked about that, only caring to learn of what benefits he’d receive. But your future husband had made sure to discuss more about ensuring your safety and wellbeing. 

You had slowly started growing used to the rocking of the sea when you all docked upon land, and you were ushered from your bunker, Cherry purring in your arms as you walked on shaky legs onto the docks.

It was… beautiful there.

So similar yet different than you were used to. The trees there were in bloom, pink petals and flowers floating around in the warm breeze. You stood for a moment, observing the land around you, the workers bustling past with your few boxes of things, mostly crates of gifts from your father to your future husband and his clan.

“Are you alright?”

You jumped, blinking as you turned your attention to the small group of men standing before you. You were always grateful that you had been privileged to learn a multitude of languages throughout your life, and nodded slowly.

“Yes. I apologize it’s… quite beautiful here.”

The man before you smiled softly, bowing slightly as you stepped closer, “I’m Hiragi Toma, I’ll be escorting you to your new home.”

You smiled, swallowing back nerves, “Thank you, Hiragi. It’s a pleasure.”

He held his arm out, indicating you to walk forward, and the leftover group shifted, allowing the pair of you to walk through them.

“I imagine you have questions,” His voice broke you out of the beginning of your thoughts, and you looked down to Cherry, who looked up at you with a slow blink.

“Many,” You admitted shly, “But—”

“Ask away,” The pair of you had gotten to what appeared to be a carriage, but there was no roof, and only two horses appeared to be pulling it.

He helped you in, taking a seat across from you, as two more men piled in, one with light blonde hair, and another with dual colors; a feature you had never seen in person.

“Ask?”

The horses pulled off, and the four of you lurched lightly, Hiragi raised an eyebrow at you, “Yes. We may not be able to answer them all, but we can answer a few I imagine.”

Your lips pursed, petting over Cherry’s fur to calm the spike of nerves you felt.

“What’s wrong?”

You cleared your throat, “Forgive me… My father had taught me not to ask questions.”

The dual-haired man snorted, and your attention turned to him, before your gaze flickered back to Hiragi. 

Hiragi offered you a soft smile, “I find we handle things differently here than most other places, even on this side of the world. If you have questions you are more than welcome to ask.”

“My husband,” You blurted out before you could stop, “What’s… he like?”

The three stared at you, and silence fell, the only sound of the horses walking.

“You… hadn’t read any of his letters?”

“I’m not allowed to read letters my father receives, it’s private information I’m not privileged to witness.”

Hiragi shook his head, and the blonde next to you clicked his tongue, “And here we thought you were so stuck up you weren’t responding to him.”

“Kaji,” Hiragi hissed his name, face pinched, before he sighed, “I suppose that answers some of our questions then. His name is Hajime Umemiya, he’s…”

He trailed off, as if unsure what to say or how to describe him. The other man, who the more you studied the more his hair reminded you of Cherry’s fur, decided to step in.

“He’s strong.” His voice was firm as he spoke, “Took his position like it was absolutely nothing. I aim to pass him one day.”

“And take his wife in the process?” Kaji questioned, and that notion had both of your faces burning red.

“No!” He leaned forward, “I want the spot— not his damn wife!”

Kaji rolled his eyes, “Sure.”

“I have no intention of ever getting married, and if I did!” He pointed a finger in your direction, “I’d want a wife who can hold her own in a battle! Not someone weak!”

As harsh as his words were, and you did your best to hide a wince, he wasn’t wrong. Your brothers had all been trained mentally as well as physically, but you and your sister could only watch in curiosity, never allowed to train with them.

“Sakura!” Hiragi moved, a hand smacking the side of his head, “You don’t insult guests in front of them, and especially a lady!”

He turned to you, forcing the others head down in as much of a bow as he could in the carriage, “I apologize. On behalf of both of them.”

You shook your head, “It’s okay! Really!”

He sat up, letting go of Sakura, who looked annoyed and embarrassed, turning to stare along the scenery. 

“He isn’t wrong though, Umemiya is a very strong man. He rose in power quickly, and he helped clean up our nation more than many before him. We’ve had connections with past rivals, new trades and relationships flourishing under him,” He smiled at you, eyes soft as if he were aiming to calm your racing heartbeat, “But he didn’t get there alone. He’s a man who rules for his people, and everyone loves him, respects him. He’s got a soft heart, and is protective of those he holds close. He’s not cruel in anyway of the word, either.”

You nodded, leaning back into the seat. Hiragi seemed trustworthy, he seemed kind, if not a bit tired.

“He had been writing to you once he and your father finalized your betrothal.”

“I- I never received any of the letters.”

“I imagine your father kept them, though I can’t guess why. Umemiya imagined something like that was the reason, he had faith you weren’t turning your nose up at him when others thought that to be the case.”

Safe to say your father just didn’t care enough to give you the letters, seeing no reason behind them.

“He’s rather excited to meet you,” Hiragi continued, “Been bouncing around this whole week.”

You giggled lightly at that, “It’s hard to imagine a grown man this excited over marriage.”

Kaji scoffed, “He’s still a kid at heart,” Muttering something that sounded like “annoying” under his breath.

Hiragi’s eyebrows furrowed a bit, “He’s freshly eighteen,” Your eyes widened at that fact, “And your sixteenth birthday was a few months ago, correct?”

You nodded, and he smiled, “You don’t have to worry about him, I doubt your father realized he wasn’t as old as he thought at first.”

The carriage stopped moving, and someone rushed to open the door, Sakura and Kaji hoping out, followed by Hiragi, who paused and waited for you, holding your hand to help you down.

His voice was low as the carriage door shut behind you, “You’ll be safe with him,” You turned to look at him, but he was looking forward, “I promise. He’s a good man.”

You followed after the three, the gardens outside of your new home beautiful and breathtaking. Standing at the entrance, clad in a beautiful looking kimono, as you learned on your voyage over, stood a man, tall and smiling. His hair was as white as winter snow, and it almost appeared ethereal against the setting sunlight.

“Welcome!” His voice was loud and booming, and Hiragi sighed from in front of you. 

As you grew closer you realized that this man was Hajime Umemiya; your husband. 

α/ɳ: I started this with no plot in sight, and as I was writing (cause I always have a lot to say) realized... this won't all fit into one one shot. So then I was like-- okay two parts? Three parts? We'll see!

ρα૨ƭ ƭωσ

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yes bitch i stalk ya page i love you tf

just

windbreaker chat log appreciation :)

i love these boys

absolutely beautiful art 😍 tsubaki deserves nothing less

I love Tsubaki so much and they deserve nothing but happiness and joy forever

listening to banana fish spotify playlists is like "oh this song is so sad, let's see the other, oh this is depressive, shit this one is worse, oh well this one too, oh the intro slaps, oh this is also sad, and this one t-"

Togame ~

Okay. So! Each episode of windbreaker is about 3-4 of the manga chapters. This latest episode (s2ep3) ended with chapter 55.

Insanity incoming, as well as spoilers for non-manga readers.

So my rough estimate is that Tsubakino’s little intro will be at the end of episode 5?

Pretty sure next episode (ep4) will have sick Sakura, then after that him and Kaji’s talk. Feel like ep4 will end with Kaji’s “Everyone can see you’re terrified of rejection” bit.

Ep5 might pick up after this, (I cannot wait for Kaji’s freak out when being caught being a good senpai) then lunch at Kotoha’s which is when Sakura sees Tsubakino through the window!

Which MEANS if that’s right Tsubakino will be fully introduced in episode 6! Which would be airing on like May 8th. Which feels so far away. And the dub for that episode will be May 22nd.

any of my moots wanna move to a cute lil cottage somewhere not in the us and raise animals together

any animal will suffice

we can all bring our pets too

lots of land

Jason Todd SFW Alphabet

From this template

A : Affectionate How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?

He shows affection in small ways that just never end, not in an annoying way. His love languages are definitely physical affection (he's touch-starved), quality time (he spent so much of his childhood alone, physically or not), and words of affirmation. I talk about the physical stuff further down, but he also loves just being in the same room as you. If you're in college and studying or doing homework he's there with you, silent, just enjoying your presence, stepping in whenever you need a break (hypocrite). He praises you for the smallest thing, you got a C+ on a paper and feel down? That professor's an idiot, Lois Lane would publish a paper like that. You look beautiful in that outfit, doesn't matter how often he's seen you in it, you always look amazing.

B : Best Friend What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?

I can see the friendship starting slowly, you two meet probably somewhere like a bookstore or coffee shop. You're looking at a book he likes and he comments, and the two of you start talking. You don't exchange info, just happen to meet up there a few times before you start talking outside of the bookshop. It's definitely a warm, and open friendship. You can banter back and forth, pick up conversations like two weeks hadn't passed, etc.

C : Cuddles Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?

Jason in two words: touch starved. He tries to be nonchalant about it, but he has to be touching you in some way. Arm around your shoulders, leaning against your side, holding your hand, you holding his arm, etc. His two favorites are when you lay on his chest, you're like a living, beautiful weighted blanket, and when you let him lay on your chest, listening to your heart beat, feeling your breath under his chest, your fingers carding through his hair. He's like an overgrown cat.

D : Domestic Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?

He does not actively realize he wants to settle down, but he cannot see his future without you. To him it doesn't matter if you have kids, don't have kids, get married, don't get married, stay in Gotham, move, etc. He just wants you next to him. As for cooking-- I cannot see him being an excellent cook. He either forgets to eat, or makes instant ramen for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He, however, doesn't want you to feel like you have to do everything, so he learns how to cook basic meals for the two of you, and luckily, he's decent at cleaning. The mess reminds him too much of his house growing up, and he doesn't want to feel that around you.

E : Ending If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?

In a serious relationship I can only see Jason breaking up with their partner due to him fearing for their safety. He'd also do it fast, like breakup with you, give you a half-assed reason, and then flee. He wouldn't answer your texts or calls, but he'd always make sure you were safe. He just feels you're safer without him.

F : Fiancé How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?

He doesn't actively plan on getting married, but he wants you in his life forever. He goes by your flow once you're together for a longer period of time. You wanna get married? He's down on one knee. Want a big wedding? He's guilting Bruce into paying for everything. Want a small wedding? Still making Bruce pay. Courthouse? Already driving you two there. How quick would depend on you, two years in and you want a ring? He's taking Babs out to help him look. Seven years and you mention the courthouse? Well you're both free Wednesday, wanna go then?

G : Gentle How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?

Jason Todd is a huge teddy bear. He knows he's big, he's strong, he's intimidating, and most of the time he doesn't mind that. With you though? Doesn't matter how strong you are, he's gonna treat you like glass. Not because he doesn't think you can handle yourself, he just never wants to hurt you in any way, shape, or form. He never raises his voice at you, never raises a hand, never even thinks of doing either of those.

H : Hugs Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?

Like I said, touch-starved. If he could have you in his arms all the time he would. Any time you're fine with it-- cause if you needed space or no touch he'd oblige, and not make a fuss about it cause hey he respects your boundaries-- he's got you in his arms. His hugs make you feel like nothing can hurt you, you're protected in his arms, leaning against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

I : I Love You How fast do they say the L-word?

I can definitely see him taking a bit to say it, not because he doesn't love you, but because saying it feels really real to him. However, when he comes to fully realize, know, and accept that he loves you, he says it without realizing it and doesn't blink while you're reeling. After that, he ends every conversation with an "I love you", and sometimes randomly gives you a quick kiss with a "love you".

J : Jealousy How jealous do they get? What do they do when they're jealous?

It's strange for him because, on the one hand, he trusts you. Like, really, really trusts you. He'd hand you his guns if you so much as asked, not needing anything else. However, he does get jealous. Specifically cause he loves your attention, and when it's on someone else for too long and he feels ignored, the man deflates. His brothers think it's hilarious to steal your attention from him and watch him get all pouty. The big bad Red Hood is pouting cause his partner is talking to his brothers and not him.

K : Kisses What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?

Kissing Jason makes you feel like you're wrapped up in a warm blanket, protected, loved, and like you're the most important person to walk on the earth. Regardless of how quick and small they are, or how hot and heavy they can become. He loves to kiss you on the lips, the cheek, and the forehead. He feels that's the best way to convey how much he loves you. As for him, he loves it when you press gentle kisses on his hands, his palms, or his knuckles. It makes him feel soft, it makes him feel safe. He won't say that, though, so you better pick up on his little smile every time you do.

L : Little Ones How are they around children?

He's the kind of guy who says they don't like kids, that they're snot-nosed and annoying. Yet he's so soft with them. He kneels down to their level to talk to them, never talks to them like they're dumb or babies, always makes sure they are able to show or say their boundaries and he respects them. He volunteered once with you at a library with the poorer kids and read to them, going out of his way to make funny voices, letting them climb all over his lap, tug his hair, etc.

M : Morning How are mornings spent with them?

He's not a morning person. Odds are you're up before him and he tries holding you in bed, pleading that he just needs five more minutes with you. You can bribe him out of bed with breakfast and coffee, however.

N : Night How are nights spent with them?

More of a night owl, and you two often stay up late, talking in hushed whispers about anything and everything. He likes it when he makes you laugh when you're tired and giggly and find him hilarious. Odds are he's not a morning person cause you two stay up late.

O : Open When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?

He wouldn't open up quickly. That's just not really the Batfamily tradition. You'd be dating for a while, and one night he'd probably have a rough night. Aggressive thugs out and about, hurt kids, bad memories. You'd just hold him, you wouldn't pry or ask questions, just let him relax into you. And he'd spill. About his mom. About Willis. About meeting Bruce. About his relationship with his brothers. Dying. Coming back. His feelings. Everything.

P : Patience How easily angered are they?

He used to have a horrible temper, and everyone knew. With you? He wanted to change that. You were never the reason he was mad: upset? Sometimes, sure. But he loves you, so he worked on himself. He worked on communication, talking to you when you did something or said something. He learned healthier ways to manage his anger, as to never take it out on you.

Q : Quizzes How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?

Jason remembers when his mom started forgetting small things about him, forgetting holidays and birthdays, and as a kid he never said anything, but it hurt. It hurt a lot when she forgot how old he was because she missed his past few birthdays. So he makes sure he remembers everything about you. You once mentioned this café opening you saw online? He takes you there on opening day-- five months later. You changed from gold to silver or silver to gold? He picks up on it and changes the jewelry he buys you accordingly.

R : Remember What is their favorite moment in your relationship?

He's got two. One, when you learned about him being Red Hood. He was worried about your response, knowing it was a dangerous life. But you just told him to promise you he'd always come back to you, and you learned how to patch up different kinds of wounds without telling him to help him however you could. Just you worrying about his safety made his heart flutter. Two, when you learned who his father was. He was used to people wanting to be close to him and his siblings because of Bruce-- riches and influence. You didn't care, at all. "Oh. Your dad's Bruce Wayne? Cool. Do you want lo-mien or ramen for dinner?"

S : Security How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?

Super protective. I think we can all agree on that. He's seen the worst of the worst people, seeing people hurt and injured. He never wants you to be in those positions. You'd move in with him eventually, his apartment was probably one of the safest places in Gotham. He tracked you, with your consent of course, and you understood. You tracked his phone too, cause he knows you worry as well. As for you protecting him, he likes it when you hold him after nightmares or rough nights, telling him everything's going to be okay, and just being there for him.

T : Try How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?

A lot. But he does his best not to show it. Oh, you have a dream date you have a Pinterest board for? Well, he's searching high and low on how to make that date happen. You've always wanted to go to Paris? London? Brazil? Guess where you're going for your two year anniversary. He tucks you in whenever you nap or sleep, bookmarks your pages for you so you never lose your page, and makes sure he always has your favorite drinks in the fridge.

U : Ugly What would be some bad habits of theirs?

Self-sacrificing and shutting down. He has a hard time letting people help him, feeling like if he lets people help then he's not strong enough to take care of you. It upsets you whenever he does that, but in a way you get it. It's something you two work on.

V : Vanity How concerned are they with their looks?

His concern is mostly whenever you get worried about him. The bags under his eyes, the half-treated cuts and bruises. He takes better care of himself after dating you because whenever you worry about him like that it hurts his heart too. He gets a better shower schedule, sleeps better, eats more than take out and protein.

W : Whole Would they feel incomplete without you?

I think towards the beginning of your relationship he would do his best to remain independent. He knew the pain of being alone, being left, being forgotten, and he did his best to avoid that, but he also wouldn't want to wish that upon you if anything happened. However, as your relationship grows and continues you truly become the light of his life, and his day isn't complete if he doesn't talk to you at least once.

X : Xtra A random headcanon for them.

He talks in his sleep. Sometimes, on bad nights, he's crying, nightmares from his memories, and fears of losing you or seeing his family die in front of him because, despite it all, he still cares about them. On good days he mutters the most random crap, and you have videos of him arguing with some made up person from his dreams over food or clothes.

Y : Yuck What are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in a partner?

He wouldn't like conceited people, confident sure, but cocky? No. He dealt with Bruce's rich "friends" too much to deal with that. He wouldn't want someone to coddle him, baby him, he wants to be taken care of sure, but not at the expense of a partner treating him like he's incapable of doing anything.

Z : Zzz What is a sleep habit of theirs?

If he could stay up all night talking to you, looking at you, he would. You, however, enjoy sleeping. You feel like you have to fight him to be in bed before three AM, and deal with the fact that he and Tim are far closer in how much coffee they drink than Jason would ever admit.

Send in any character request with a letter, multiple letters, or the whole thing!