Hotch : What Is Your Date Of Birth ?

Reid : "Once you've hit rock bottom the only place to go is up". You underestimate me, I've brought my pickaxe and I'm ready to dig.

Emily : Once my baby was being annoying so I put it in the basement.

Emily : Then I forgot about it and decided that I didn't want a basement anymore, so I got rid of the door and decided that I will do the rest later. When child protective services came, they couldn't go in the basement, so they just chilled around in my house.

Therapist :

JJ, facepalm : She's talking about the Sims, please don't call the police.

Policeman : And you guys are ?

Emily : Tired

Spencer : Dead inside

JJ : Anxious

Morgan : Hungry

Hotch :

Hotch : We're the BAU

Unsub : I ain't talking

Reid, sharpening a knife : We got ways of making people talk

Reid, cuts a piece of cake

Unsub : ..Can I have some ?

Reid : Cake is for talkers only.

Emily : I HATE when communication isn't clear and loud.

Morgan : What happened to her ?

JJ : She can't log into her Disney+ account and it doesn't say if it's the username or the password that she got wrong.

Emily : I just want someone to take me out

Spencer : Like on a date or with a sniper ?

Emily : Surprise me.

Reid : You have to learn to love yourself.

JJ : Don't you like, hate yourself ?

Reid : Yes, but we're talking about you, focus.

Reid : Remember when "A series of unfortunate events" was a book series and not my life ? Because I don't.

Emily : Don't come on a case thinking it's going to be easy, we dig through the ditches and burn through the bitches in here

JJ : Why is Morgan hiding in my office ?

Reid : He broke his spaghetti before putting them in the water.

JJ : ..And ?

Reid : He did it in front of Rossi.

Rossi, bursting into JJ's office : COME HERE STRONZETTO-

Morgan : screams sharply and terrified