Bart: This Is Totally Absurd!

reblog to give a trans person soup

Bart Allen is immune to the Batglare

Change my mind

New Bart Allen headcanon because I'm so so weak and my brain don't stop buzzing.

In Smallville, Bart Allen is being hunted down by the Black Flash (Basically the grim reaper of the Speedforce), because he's the only speedster who was born with the speedforce by two speedster family's, thus making his powers "Pure" untapped potential.

Superman is in the comic, he tries saving Bart, he's irrelevant. Jay Garrick was also there at some point but mans didn't do shit. Anyways. Eventually, Black Flash does catch up to Bart in Smallville, making all sorts of wild threats if Imp didn't give up his powers.

Bart, being the selfless sacrifice he is, agreed to the terms and Black Flash essentially killed him. A lotta lightning came down from nowhere and struck Bart. After the storm cleared, Bart and Black Flash were no where to be seen, and all that was left was a Flash insignia on the ground to remember him.

Obviously, Bart came back, but my headcanon is that he comes back with lightning scars traveling all down his body, from his hair to his feet. He's impulse again, but with these otherworldly tree branches of scars covering his face, arms, legs, everywhere. And no one really knows how to address it, they're just all relieved to have him back, and he doesn't seem bothered by them. He sometimes makes Harry Potter jokes, and it either gets a laugh or makes people uncomfortable, there's no in between.

He doesn't really have a social life anymore, since he's been legally dead a lot and Batman had to make yet another fake birth certificate and records for him, but even he's happy to do so to see the speedster around again.

Bart never really got along with Barry and Wally completely. They were his heroes before he even met them, but they weren't what he was hoping for and that always put a strain on their relationship. That and Wally just generally treated Bart like shit, and Barry acted like he didn't even want him sometimes. But then Bart's alive again, showing up on their doorstep like "SINCE WHEN IS IT 2019", and they're just staring at him like he's the ghost of Impulse, tattered and scarred just like the accident left them, and thing's are better now because Bart's filling up the silence that filled their voids again.

Bart: muttering interlac curses under his breath

Everyone else: what?? What the fuck?? Huh???

Batfam headcanon #ilostcount

The only reason there is cameras set up in wayne manor is to make commentary on Nerf wars. The announcer sits at the batcomputer and commentates on everything.

They also like to play irl Five Nights At Freddy, Flipping through the camera, and it's kinda like red light green light. Whenever a camera is in use, the little red light goes green and all movment in that room must stop. If it goes off again they're free to move about the room.

Bart: I’m trying to convince Tim that I’m just a figment of his imagination.

Tim, sleep deprived and emotional: STOOOPP!

Bart: What’s wrong, Timber?

Tim, crying on the ground: BECAUSE ITS PROBABLY TRUE!

Bart: Is it because I represent your inner child that was denied a childhood so you focus that energy on creating someone to bring out the carefree and positive disposition in your life?

Tim, aggressively sobbing:

The way I am sobbing, YOU HAVE BLESSED ME AND MY CREATION

Currently in rarepair hell be seeing you all :))

(bonus one under the cut cause I don't like it as much, but it's cute so take it avdjsnsj)

inaccurate Batfam quotes #16

Batboys going grocery shopping

Dick: In the cart

Jason: pushing the cart

Damian: Scowling at the two idiots he regretfully calls his brothers

Tim: Has a separate cart and getting the groceries, pretending to not know them

Everyone: Watching the two oldest people in the group be the most irrisponsible.

Just don’t try to buy your soup at the clothes store.

I wish my parents would leave the house so I could eat soup already

AS THE FOUNDER OF JAYBART I AM LITERALLY CRYING THERES FANART NOW YALL THIS IS A MILESTONE ITS SPREADING

Not Fast Enough - A JayBart Playlist

Love Is Easy by McFly | No One’s Here To Sleep (Feat. Dan Smith) by Naughty Boy | Flaws by Bastille | Be Nice To Me by The Front Bottoms |  Life Is A Highway by Rascal Flatts | A Better Son/Daughter by Rilo Kiley | Feeling Good by Michael Bublé |  My Silver Lining by First Aid Kit

Lalala, I didn’t do anything, lalala, I’m innocent. I did draw this though.