Kon And Bart: *eating Insane Amounts Of Pie*

Friendly reminder that English wasn’t Bart’s first language.

THEM 💞⚡🦆

inaccurate Batfam quotes #17

Can we all agree it’s canon that Bruce and Jason have this weird competition of T-shirts to talk shit about the other? Like... Bruce walking around one day and the paparazzi take a picture of him in a “proud father of a great kid who’s sometimes an asshole” shirt. Jason sees it and retaliates by wearing a “Wonder where I learned to swear” shirt to an informal party and they just kept going.

Kon: Wow, your legs look great in jeans that aren’t a size too large.

Bart: you should see me without em.

Kon:

Bart:

Kon:

Bart, taking off his prosthetic leg:

Kon, softly: Bart, no.

WAR AGAINST ANTI-VAX MOMS

Ok, Karen, listen up. I’ve fucking devised a plan and you can’t stop me. Okay, so, tiny robot mosquitoes, right? But instead of sucking blood, they inject vaccines. They have specific targets each and will return to HQ to be cleaned as to not spread any blood spread viruses. There should be a hotline for people to call to say no one will vaccinate them and it should be called the MDA. Mosquito Delivery Agency in long terms. This is a legit theory I made in the sum of two minutes after no sleep in two days.

It’s been 6 hours into this hellish day. I’m running out of Gatorade. Looks like I’m gonna have to resort to eating my roommate.

inaccurate Batfam quotes #11

Tim: If I ever meet the first person who said "I'll sleep when I'm dead" I'm going to kill them.

Dick: Relax, Tim. Just drink your coffee.

Tim: This isn't even coffee. It's a 12 pack of Five hour energy mixed with cocoa powder...

Jason: An entire pack of 12 hour energy?

Tim: Does anyone else see the talking squirril?

Dick: uhhh, Tim? Squirrils don't talk.

Tim: Cool, just checking my sanity.

inaccurate Batfam quotes #8

Tim, sighing exasparatingly: I don't know how to get a girls attention.

Jason: Ask Dick. He's gay and still a chick magnet.

Dick: Talking to some girls on the other side of the room

Tim: I can't even get a guys attention! How the hell does he do that?

Jason: I don't know. HEY DICK!

Dick, turns around and litteral sparkles apear around him: Yes?

Jason, confused and distressed: Nevermind. Yea, your screwed as long as he's in the picture.

Tim: Damn.

Jason, raising a gun: I know a way to get him out of the picture?

Tim: We are not going to kill Dick, hijack a garbage truck to feed his corpse to and move to LA, Jason.

Jason: sadly lowers gun

inaccurate Batfam quotes #20

The batfamily as romantic types...

Dick: The hopeless romantic and flirt, shameless, makes it known who he likes.

Jason: The confused about emotions but still making an effort; getting flowers that he probably just snatched from a feild, buying chocolates and gets embarassed about any positive feedback.

Tim: Border on stalking until he finds out what they like to use that as a tactical advantage, as well as over-analyzies every scenario.

Damian: Very foreward and very formal with everything, probably escort them to his Dads private yacht for a dinner date under candles and stars, being very serious the entire time.

Bruce: Emotionally constipated but sincere.

Barbra: Drops hints, but a lot of them. At once. Sometimes scares people but no one can turn her down, it's Barbra. Does not take no for an answer.

Cassandra: Very shy around them and makes casual comments; "You look nice today." etc.

Duke: Charming and patient, always there for his romantic interest as a friend first and lover second.

I need Y’all to understand

Bart Allen is F E R A L. He's the kinda 'Grey Morals' that is unkempt and unpredictable, and otherwise dangerous.

He's the kind of person that can Lie to Batman's face. And he has. Multiple times. And got away with most of it. Bart will litterally throw hands and that is fact. He has made death threats on a lotta people. That image circulated widely in the meme community of a plush duckling carrying a knife? That's Bart energy. Cute, will be nice, unless you give him reason not to and then his entire persona is just poof, replaced with a wolf. His entire families morals are "We can solve all our problems with friendship" and Bart's morals are "I can spit in the face of death and you can quote me on that". He's better suited for the Batfam than the Flashfam (cept when he's with Max: Max Mercury Supremacy). Hell, he's better suited for the rogues than with Flashfam. He's unafraid to die, will protect what he loves at any cost, and most likely will become unhinged. His friends can only keep a collar on him for so long before he becomes wild and I love that. I love his character cause it's deep, deeper than the developers intended to make him, and he's filled with so much baggage and emotions that he carries like a pro. Sure, Wally's the fastest, Barry's the beloved son of central, but Bart? Bart is one of the strongest heroes, not just for his unwavering will and strength, but his urgency to do the right thing, even if it's the world against him. He loves to laugh, so he does. He doesn't like reflecting on his trauma, so he doesn't. And he comes out okay because he knows time is always moving forewards and things are only in the present. He's a time anomaly, and yet he doesn't mind at all. He doesn't need to belong to a timeline, he belongs with his friends. He knows what needs to be done and he does it.

Bart Allen is the strongest hero and I will protect him.