Friendly Reminder That English Wasn’t Bart’s First Language.

Have some Wayne Manor Quarantine Headcanons because I couldn't sleep last night and thought of these instead!

Dick

• lasted half a day

• is so incredibly bored and fidgety

• won't stop moving

• unintentionally annoying everyone

• "Hey Jay, whatcha' playing? Cool cool. Can I have a go?"

• already climbed all 4 chandeliers, twice, much to Alfred's dismay

Jason

• got Animal Crossing on release day

• has been binging it non stop

• no idea what day it is

• 11million bells in his account

• absolutely TT's

• just wants to play in peace

Tim

• non-existent sleep schedule

• Jason once caught him microwaving hot pockets at 4am

• "Well I made cereal at 12am, so this is technically lunch"

• did his online classes for a week

• hasn't touched them since

Steph

• has been living on breakfast food

• said she'd use this time to exercise and come out of quarantine super ripped

• saved every "at home workouts you can do" she's come across

• hasn't done a single one

• 2am online shopping binges

Cass

• embodiement of the "when you find out your daily lifestyle is called quarantine" meme

• has a schedule and is sticking to it

• loves that there is no one else on her runs

• very confused about the constant reminders to wash your hands

• "Did..they not wash before?"

Duke

• doesn't know how or when, but he has Tiktok now

• binging everything on Netflix

• marble racing is actually pretty good

• honestly just wants to be able to buy some toilet paper

Damian

• he's resorted to sleeping in the barn with the animals

• avoiding Richard at all costs

• had his swords confiscated

• uninterrupted pet loving time

• he dressed Alfred the Cat sf in a tie for Bruce's meetings

Bruce

• barricaded himself in his office

• still does Batman stuff, but won't allow the others to patrol

• because "it's not safe"

• he really just wants a few hours alone, please

• does video conferences from home and 96% of the time the aduio is the kids screaming and or fighting

Alfred

• his chore system did not work

• kind of misses the days when all he had to cook was food for himself

• now he has to feed The Horde™

• but honestly, he loves having everyone together for forced family dinners

Brief explanation of all of Bart’s deaths.

Hi, back by unpopular demand, ME! (Updated this cause Bart has died YET AGAIN in the timespan of this post and now, also I forgot one. So yes, Bart has died a total of five times now.💀) this is Jaybart rantpost part 2.

So, as I said in the last post, I'd explain Bart's three (Now 5) separate deaths. So without further ado, lets get on with angst!

Smallsville sacrifice: Bart actually ends up sacrificing himself for Clark Kents sake and many more in Smallsville, Giving up his speed to the Black Flash or the "grim reaper" of the speedforce. Nasty lookin guy, all black and withered. Hard to miss. He gives up his speed since his is the only one that's "pure" as Reaper Flash says, afterwards being struck by a Zeus load of lightning. After the light died down, the only thing left was a lightning bolt insignia on the ground where Bart stood. His last words were "smell ya later." (Have I mentioned how much I love him?)

Thad Thawne and the rouges: (I love Thad and I need you to understand that he's not entirely at fault for his actions, no thad hate under this roof.) Anyway, Thad was able to convince, with much bargaining, the Rouges to aid his defeating of his Twin Clone, Bart. Bart looked much older, and had taken the name Flash after everyone else "mysteriously" lost their speed and Wally was gone. So a plan was made, a fight took place, Bart was defeated and later on the Rouges weren't too thrilled about it. Just read the comic, I promise it's great. Right after he died Wally returned as Flash and soon Bart was ressurected but as a teenager again?? And then he took back his title Impulse. Don't ask.

Killed Clone: Okay, so this one is a little bit different from those cause he does technically die, but it's not by normal conventional means so let me explain. Bart has many powers that are unique from the speedforce like his speed sympathy; the ability to feel when another person in the speedforce is in trouble. One of these powers is his speed scouts. He can draw energy from the speedforce to duplicate himself with multiple carbon copies, like Naruto. Anyway, all of them are connected. If one thinks, that thought is communicated between all of them. If one is hurt, they all feel it. So after he was using them in a battle, one of his speed scouts was killed, right in front of him. He was able to feel them die, and feel himself dying even though his pain was falsified and the shock sent him into a coma that later on killed him. After he was ressurected... again, he swore to never use his speed scouts again.

White Flash: In an end-of-the-world scenerio, Barry Allen has to face the speedforce and try to speed his way to save the planet, but he wasn't fast enough. (A common reoccurring theme in Flash comics) so mama speed sent Bart as her massiah to deliver them victory. I'll share with you a quote cause it's better at explaining this than I am: “Grandpa! No time to explain. I can feel it... feel the speedforce all around me... feel it in me... now that I’ve caught up with you, I can Help. This is what I’m meant to do— it’s not enough, what you’re doing now. You’re going to need every bit you can get... every bit that’s in this weird reality... the speedforce sent me around the universe... I collected it for you... took it from Max, Wally, Jay, everyone..! I’ve come through time and space and this universe to become the speedforce’s ultamate messenger, so I could tell you this: run, grandpa. Run and save our world.” Basically he gives up all his speed and the others, sacrificing himself (AGAIN) for the greater good so that Barry might have a chance in saving their time. He turns into the White Flash right before his molecules were torn apart and he ceases, now one with the speedforce.

(SPOILERS FOR FLASH: FUTURE STATE): Bart, Max, and Barry were all looking for ways to bring Wally back from being basically possessed by Famine- yes, the one from the four horsemen. He was apparently inprisoned in the speedforce and took away all the others speed. They found a way to save him, but it was guarded by villains. Bart uses the prisma goggles and gadgets he stole. He rode into the room on a rainbow- try telling me that's not gay. you Can't. Anywho, he stole it from the calculator man, who then shot him with a laser seconds before Max electricuted him. Sad day to have to explain such a badass character was killed by someone named calculator man. At least it wasn't calendar man...

While I definitely agree, there are times as well they have been encased in lightning while being suspended or simply not moving at superspeed, like a precursor to their powers. I don’t think it’s so much as a friction thing versus the Speedforce giving them this sort of barrier like a thin protective shield that can be transferred through touch (and that’s why they can carry people without them getting burned or shredded by the velocity). Since the speedforce is sentient it simply knows when to raise or lower that energy shield.

Now onto transport; while it’s true no HUMAN devices could withstand the full force of the Sun, there are friends on Earth that can get him there AND withstand the sun as well. For one, Kon, Jon, or Clark; kryptonians are sun children! they can fly him there and even give him kryptonian tech/suit for breathing purposes since it seems all their shrap was also built to withstand it. Option two! Apollo, aka Midnighters husband. One call to Tim like “hey can your gay uncles hubby yeet me into the sun? For science.” Tim literally caves to every single one of Bart’s requests (for “unknown” reasons, I mean cmon he just asks and Tim let him fly the batjet)

I rest my case, your honour. Any rebuttals?

So if Speedsters can surround themselves and handle lightning just fine when they throw it and stuff, and lightning is 5 times hotter than the sun, theoretically a speedster should be able to survive on the sun. I’m Bart, and in this Ted talk-

inaccurate Core Four quotes #4

Tim: It costs 400 dollars to go see a therapist but it costs 0 to tell yourself "It be like that sometimes"

Kon, softly: Wha- No. Are you okay?

Cassie: Aren't you rich?

Bart: But, what if I start taxing you every time you say that?

Tim: Do you wanna die, Bart?

Bart: This is an economy, Tim. Nothing you do is free.

Cassie: Bart, who taught you that?

Bart, shrugging: I read it in a book somewhere.

Kon: uhm...

Cassie: Tim, you're literally rich, just pay for therapy.

Tim: No.

Bart: Why not?

Tim: Cause eat the rich.

Tim: Also student debt.

Bart: You're gonna eat somebody??

Kon: Bart, remember when we talked about metaphores?

Bart: That makes a lot more sense.

Cassie: You all need therapy.

Kon: And you don't?

Cassie: I punch things. That's theraputic.

Bart: What's therapy?

Kon: ...

Cassie: ...

Tim: ...

Cassie: Tim-

Tim, dialing Black Canary's number: Already on it.

Kon: Are you telling me you've never talked about your problems to anyone?

Bart: Why would I? problems are meant to be solved by yourself as a self discovering journy and bottled up emotions.

Kon: where'd you learn that?

Bart: Steven Universe.

Cassie: Guys, can we focus please?

Tim: She's on her way.

Bart: Who's on her way?

Cassie, wrapping a blanket around Barts shoulders: Shhh, we're gonna take care of you now.

Bart: But I'm fine-

Tim: There there, speed demon. You're in good hands.

Bart: ... sniffs thank you.

Kon: nods approvingly

Them

I missed them

Idk the reason I always think of Bart with 80s wear but-

It fits for some reason

Heyoo, my batfam and bart connoisseurs!

Interested in an upstarting multifandom server?Come join me and our new friends!

Hang out, kick up your feet. Talk fics, fanart, prompts, headcanons from all sorts of fan bases! DC, Danny Phantom, Dr Who, Good Omens, Marvel, crossovers!

Come over and let’s chat!

Hello!

if you've wanted a discord server that isn't limited to a single fandom, but instead has any fandom you want to chat in, good news!

there is one!

it's pretty much brand new, so there aren't many people, but as it grows I'll be adding different fandoms, so if there's something you're interested in and it doesn't have its own channels, just let me know.

there are currently channels for Danny Phantom, DC, the DPxDC crossover (because lets face it dpxdc is it's own fandom at this point), Marvel, Doctor Who and Good Omens

I hope to see you all in there!

Bart Allen, seeking approval from a super villain, part: this happens so often

The Prince and the Snake {Drarry One-Shot}

“Today, class, we will be making an exciting potion!” Professor Slughorn pipes. “Each of you already has the ingredients on your work table in front of you. Don’t touch them yet!” he ushers as one of the arrogant Gryffindors went to grab something. “These ingredients in particular make the creatura corpus potion. This potion works much like wolfsbane, but a short-term verion. You see, this concoction will turn any mythical creature and shift it to a human form for a small period of time depending on how well the potion was brewed.” he states. After he was finished explaining, Draco lazily flips to the page in his advanced potions book and began cutting the ginseng root into seven equal pieces, grinding the preficus wing into a fine powder, and mincing the calyfairvor. His partner, Blaise, was doing his tasks on the other end of the cauldron of boiling water. The blonde noticed, out of the corner of his eye, Blaise dropping pounded phealis crumbs before he could stop it from happening. The potion started bubbling, making ‘goop’ sounds. Blaise and Draco started pacing back, backing into the next table behind them. A large bubble of the murky green substance grew and popped, splattering in Draco’s direction. “Blaise! You so owe me!” Draco wiped the substance with his hands as his partner chuckled. Sparkles of light started shining around the blondes fingers and enveloped his whole body, stopping everyone’s laughter. Draco started to shrink, a terrified look on his face. His last reaction until he totally transformed was to look across the room on the Gryffindors side, straight into the green irises that watched in horror. The room went silent as the place where Draco Malfoy once stood was replaced with a white cobra snake. It lifted it’s little head and looked around the class at the amused/scared faces. It appeared to open its mouth to speak but it only came out in a hiss. “What are you all looking at?” Harry heard it say. The brunette stood and walked over to the dazed snake and started speaking in parseltongue. “Don’t freak out…” He said, apparating a mirror and showing off Draco’s new form. The new Draco sat there for a minute, staring at his reflection, not saying a word. Afterwards, he slithered over to his partner and started wrapping his body around their neck, choking them. Blaise let out a few strangled laughs before saying ‘worth it’ through his blocked air pipes. “Mister Malfoy, enough.” The professor stuttered while braking out of his surprizes daze. Draco, reluctantly, un wrapped himself and slithered onto the desk. “How do we reverse this?” he hissed at Slughorn. “He’s asking how to turn him back.” Harry acted as a translator. “Well, uh, there is one way I know. But it’s ridiculous. It may not work.” the professor nervously chuckled. Another series of hisses broke out from the cobra, and Harry coughed to stop him after he long made his point. “He asked to just say it anyway.” Harry chuckled, though he left out the rude parts. “Ah, yes. Well. The mishap can be undone by… a kiss from your chosen love.” Slughorn mutters loud enough with a deep sigh. “But surely something as ridiculous at that cannot work.” he added. “Is there some other way, professor? Malfoy is unable to love.” Ron mocks from his corner. “I do love someone, you insufferable prat.” Draco rolled his beady, little, blue eyes. Harry’s mouth gaped as he was the only one who could understand. Laughter broke out from behind Blaise and Draco’s worktable. Pansy Parkinson was brimming with her giggles. “Go on, Dray. Kiss whom you most dearly love.” she laughed even more when Draco pulled out his pure white hood and hissed venomously. She wiped a tear from her eyes and calmed down, smiling at the cobra. “I dare you.” She notes, and they stare at each other for a moment. “Potter, I need you to take me to someone.” Draco looks back to the emerald eyed Gryffindor. Harry nodded and picked Draco up, holding him close to his chest as to not drop him if they ran into someone, and left the classroom. After a bit of walking, the cobra tells Harry to stop. “Go into that alcove right there.” The Gryffindor was confused, but complied nonetheless. “I swear, Malfoy, if you bite me and leave me here to die, I will be so upset.” Harry closes the curtain. “I need you to kiss me.” Draco suddenly blurts out, leaving a following silence. “What?” Harry gulped, unable to hide his quickly spreading blush. “The professor said a kiss from your chosen love, correct? I’m sure you could fill it in from there. You’re not as dumb as you make yourself out to be.” Draco snaps back, avoiding eye contact… I think. Harry’s brain seemed to stop thinking at that moment. The only thing it pointed to was ‘do it’. He hadn’t an idea why. Maybe just to turn Draco back and get done with it. “Okay.” He said before he could convince himself otherwise. The little snakes head looked back at him (and as far as snake facial expressions could go) he could really hide his shock and confusion. “You better not be joking around cause then you just waisted both of our time.” Harry sighed, leaning over and placing a small peck to draco’s scaly lips. It wasn’t long until he felt his hands cupping soft cheeks and he was being smothered in affection. The kiss didn’t last long. Maybe a minute or two of slow, gentle movements. They separated, partially, still standing an inch away from each other. Draco felt Harry’s breath and could smell his woodley aftershave. “Thank you for changing me back.” he stepped back, feeling an emptiness when he didn’t get a response. Harry hated him. As Draco tried walking out of the curtains, a firm hand stopped him, holding his upper arm. “Draco, I-” Harry stared, but bit his lip when the blonde looked back in his adorable confusion. “Astronomy tower. Tonight. Uh, be there.” he blushed, quickly getting flustered by his vague instructions. Draco stepped back into the alcove, a small smile gracing his, usually stubborn features. “See you there, Harry.” He leaned forward slowly and placed another chaste kiss on Harry’s lips. The brunette’s hands found themselves to Draco’s chest, resting on his slim figure, fingers running over his silk robes.