I Am

Pretty moon pretty moon pretty moon!

you can love someone so much platonically that it feels like you’re gonna die. platonic feelings can be just as intense as romantic ones, and that doesn’t make them any less platonic. 

Crooked Teeth is my jam right now. Talking Bird is like going home. What Sarah Said is a guilty pleasure. I just have no words. This is the deepest, slowest, long-term betrayal I’ve ever experienced.

~<>

Is there anything more excruciating than not knowing if someone is “feel bad, need space”, “feel bad, need u to reach out” or “literally fine, just busy, stop pestering me”

A concept: More qpr representation in stories.

Abled Person: Hey man, can you hold this wad of $2,000 and this one penny for me while I open my wallet?

Disabled Person: YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER FOOL!

The United States Government:

(Watch how many people don’t get this.)

Dear guy,

Sorry for guessing your character from the get-go. We were just on the same wavelength, man. I was thinking Spongie-boy; you were thinking Mr. Clarinet Grumperstan. It just happened, my nameless dude.

Yeah, I’m not sorry. It was all very funny. Just seeing the color drain from your face and your hopes shatter... That’s that good stuffs.

And from a different time: shout out to that dude who immediately guessed “Trump” when I asked what color the character would be; and shout out to the other dude who had Trump as his character and answered “orange”.

A play-by-play can be found under the “Keep reading”

Unsuspecting Dude: I have a character.

Me: If your character was a character from Spongebob Squarepants, what character would they be?

Unsuspecting Dude: No.

Unsuspecting Dude: Noooooooo.

...

Dude 1: I’m thinking of a character.

Me: If your character was a color, what color would your character be?

Dude 1: ... Orange.

Dude 2: Is it Trump?

Dude 1: ... Yes.

I have come to understand something about myself.

If you stick me into a heavy downpour, no umbrella, and tell we to walk from point A to point B, I become a giggly idiot. The heavier the downpour, the harder it becomes for me to not erupt in giggles.

Basically, I was trying to not look creepy while laughing in the rain as it slowly started to pour harder and harder while I was getting absolutely drenched from the head down. I’m talking shoulders-shaking, body-rumbling, toothy-smiled laughter.

~<>