Carrotsarelies - I Make Up Lies When My Friends Ask To Meet Up

JULIE AND THE PHANTOMS SOUNDTRACK

 (insp.)

BLOODBORNE | Scenery

Dean and Cas are both nightmare PTA parents, because their usual personality issues are switched. In this setting, dean is the one who causes problems on purpose (flirting with pta moms, homewrecking) and cas is the one who is like “i must control everything.” 

The slippery slope of shared involvement in this organization is that cas develops a vendetta against a rival mom named Helen, and takes dean, who is just having a fun time flirting with the moms & being a homewrecker, and recruits him to run interference and gather intelligence on her campaign for PTA presidency while CAS launches his OWN ruthless campaign for PTA presidency. 

Importantly, nobody knows the first thing about either of them,

because they are trying to live simultaneously in the smalltown settled-down world and also their world of incredible violence

Nobody knows what the angry trenchcoat dad’s deal is because they have never had a normal conversation with him 

but the moms speculate WILDLY about dean

and they hear weird things from their kids who know Jack

But in order for the scheme to work, none of these women know that Cas and Dean are associated with the same kid, never mind with each other.

So,

Keep reading

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Care to debate abortion?

Nah

this is an experiment:

trying to prove something to my friends

REBLOG IF YOU THINK PANSEXUALITY AND BISEXUALITY ARE TWO DIFFERENT, VALID SEXUALITIES

China: I just need to hear those three little words.

Skulduggery: I love you.

China: Try again.

Skulduggery: [grumbling] I will behave.

China: That's better.

IF YOURE EGYPTIAN AND LGBTQ+ GET OFF ANY QUEER DATING SITES, THE POLICE ARE TRACKING AND HUNTING PEOPLE DOWN AGAIN. DELETE YOUR ACCOUNTS.

Because my last post about this didn't get much traction, I'll say it in a text post.

There is an upcoming global strike for Palestine. February 18th to the 25th. Talk about Palestine and other injustices, call your representatives and email them, boycott companies and limit spending during the week. Get your grocery shopping in now and only buy essentials during the week, please. Limit interaction on posts other than injustices around the world. If you can, skip work or school, though this is a privilege not everyone has.

Edit: It is 18th-25th not 18th-24th!! If you've already reblogged this, please reblog this version instead, edits don't show on past reblogs

Idk what I’m supposed to title this.

I just found this and thought it was cool