Your Grammar Sucks. I Hope You Die.

My parents are moving across the country. I don't want to. Any advice?

too damn bad. unless you can move out, youre stuck. move back when youre older.

I have a question. What are your opinions on LBGTQ+ people?

I dont think i could care less. However, please be careful during pride month, cause pridefall is fucking stupid.

I CAN"T BELIEVE YOU ARE CONDONING CRIMINAL ACTS! I WILL HAVE YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY ARRESTED!

even if you get my parents arrested, i wouldnt care. and also, try to get me arrested. i dare you.

heeey therrr pretty ladt watn too cone havve a drrink wiht mee?

dude, drink some water and go the fuck to sleep. Your gonna feel like shit tomorrow...

Recently, I've been trying to get my son to strike out on his own. However, he keeps coming back with bills, and expects my and my husband to pay them. It's no problem of course, it's just rent and food and the like. However, I want him to be independent. But what am I supposed to do? Let him starve on the streets?

Either you can refuse to pay the damn bills and make him get a damn job, when you can actually help him if something goes wrong, or he can do it when youre dead. your choice.

It seems my father is doing some things that aren't exactly... legal. However, he has bought us many gifts, and a new house! Should I report him?

well, when the police show up (they will, even if you dont report him) they will take everything. so make some investments so you have some cash to use for a (probably crap) house. as well as food and rent bills. other than that, go nuts.

You should give more positive advice.

You should suck my ass.

Recently, I've realized that my church has been asking for more and more money. My pastor even arrives in a limousine! Meanwhile, my grandma pays for her medicine in coins. What can I do to help them?

well, keep in mind some people dont wanna be helped. its not your fault in your grandma sticks around. but tell her that you dont think the “church” is good for her. maybe find a good replacement in your area. if she doesnt want to leave, its not your fault.

Hi! I work at a high-end store, but me and my friends are paid minimum wage at best. Is there anything I can do?

Theyre stealing from you, why not steal from them? just be careful not to get caught or youre fucked.

if not that, then be kiss-ass. just do it slowly, cause if you do it all at once, theyll know somethings up. also, if your a kiss-ass, your friends might be upset with you. just saying.

From here on out, I will be giving advice. But keep in mind, it may not be what you want to hear. And I can’t be held responsible for bad advice. Kapeesh?