tfp!human!au:
how the 1st episode should have started
ratchet: - what in the actual fuck?
optimus: - ratchet. be careful what you say, there are children here.
ratchet: - well that's the point! what in the actual fuck do the children do on the military base?
ratchet: - has anyone seen bumblebee and smokescreen?
bulkhead: - oh i'm sure they're fine. i left them with wheeljack!
ratchet: - no offense, bulkh, but those two sentences don't go together.
tfp!human!au:
knock out: - oh.. didn't notice we had a new halloween decoration here.
megatron: - we don't have any. it's starscream.
tfp!human!au:
knock out:
knock out: - please tell me you're hiding that you were turned into a vampire..
breakdown: - ..? no?
knock out: - so you mean you could see your reflection in the mirror and you came dressed like that anyway?
arcee: - i have two pieces of news.
optimus: - in such a case, please, start with a good one.
arcee: - who told you that there was a good one?
tfp!human!au:
knock out: — i literally have no idea what's going on in my life.
knock out: — i'm just in charge of the outfits.
tfp!human!au:
after new year's party
bulkhead: - get up, it's 6 o'clock already!
smokescreen: - already? ohh, alright, guess i'll skip my morning training today..
bulkhead:
bulkhead: - no, i mean, it's 6 p.m.
wheeljack: - it's not about if anyone permits me to do that
wheeljack: - it's only about if anyone can prevent me from doing that
☕ probably the weirdest associations ever but anyway tfp autobots as things you add in your tea:
🫙 wheeljack - cinnamon
🥛 smokescreen - milk
🥄 bulkhead - sugar
🌿 arcee - herbs
🍯 bumblebee - honey
🍋 ratchet - citrus
🫐 optimus - berries
🧊 ultra magnus - ice
🫗 cliffjumper - sugar syrup
no one:
vehicons: - if we combine our powers, we can be even more useless than we are individually
tfp!human!au:
arcee: *stretches*
arcee: - ugh, my whole body hurts..
smokescreen: - oh, is it because of dealing with all that paperwork? or because of some intense workout?
arcee: - it's because of my being in my late 20s.