Fire

Innocence Lost

My heart clenches as if it can still feel

Can still discern what's right, what's real

But I know better, it was torn

The day it fell for you, I was reborn

I can still feel the phantom beating

I can still hear the echoes of footsteps receding

The day it fell for you, I was reborn

That was the last day in my sleeve, it was worn.

Ruins

You're still stuck in the crevices of my mind

Still haunting all the places I can find

I've given you the key, offered my chains

Hoping for a shelter, yet you turned out to be rain

You promised freedom but you are chaos

You made certain I'll never recover from your loss

Yet still here I am, waiting for your forgiveness

Still believing you're my one shot at happiness

Will I ever be free from the angel in my memory?

Will a time come when I'll finally see?

That the pedestal I put you on has already been toppled

And the sand castle we've built have long since crumbled.

Farewell

The moon-

That was the last thing I remember

We were staring at it

Like it was the most beautiful thing ever

Then a hug

For that was the last time we'll see each other

I wish I have stayed

On that warm night of November.

Don't ask me why I put love in the same category as pain

Or why I avoid the sunshine and keep expecting the rain

If you've already forgotten, it's you who have broken promises

You, who proved how foolish I am to let down my defenses

Love left me open, vulnerable, hoping you won't hurt me

I offered you my soul, hoping you'd set me free

You took my broken pieces, forgetting about my past

Left me hanging, thinking that this would last

You snip away the thread when it was all I was holding on to

And bid me goodbye in the cruelest way I knew

You told me you want me and left

It seemed you can't handle to see how I see myself

It turns out that tearing my walls down and letting you in

Was only a silly game to prove that you will win

So I apologize for being naive and being in love

I should haven't given away the little that I have.

-D.G. Gir

Sisters

I smile as I lift my phone up high

It was one of those nights that don't make me wish to die

There was singing and teary eyes

As the laughter echoes, and we're free of lies

And for the first time since I can remember

I slept with thoughts of getting better

For them with my side

I can do anything, I can try.

Defeated

I was running when you found me

With my heart filled of thorns and your head crowned with daisies

In the field of dandelions we met

Your tired eyes looked at mine with regret

With petals in my hands, and yours filled with blood

We part ways, losing what we never have.

If I’ll ever meet you again someday

I wouldn’t know what to say

Should I smile or cry

Do I need to say hey or goodbye?

I’m wondering how would you react

Would you walk away or come back?

Would you see the misery your absence brought to me?

Or would you act as nonchalant as you can be?

I don’t even know if I’m over it or not

If there’s no more feelings or there’s are a lot

What I know for certain is this pain

And fear that I might forever wait in vain

There’s too many questions, too many regrets

If you’re not meant to be mine, why can’t I forget?

I’m trying to catch up, but you’re too fast

If we meet again, this insanity might stop at last.

I want someone to look me in the eyes

To see pass through the lies

You did, you once knew

But you walked away, can't handle the truth

That I'm a monster, a bringer of pain

Something which uses people for my own gain

And I admit I have demons but I don't want to destroy

I might not be like you but I also crave joy

I only want some company, a friend

Someone to hold my hand 'till these storms end

But I guess you only want the one I pretended to be

The normal one with simple personality

You don't want the edges, the imperfections, the flaws

That I'm in pieces, what's real and raw

You never wanted who I really am

I can't blame you, even I can't accept my own name.

-D.G. Gir// 03/31/2018