Innocence Lost

Ruins

You're still stuck in the crevices of my mind

Still haunting all the places I can find

I've given you the key, offered my chains

Hoping for a shelter, yet you turned out to be rain

You promised freedom but you are chaos

You made certain I'll never recover from your loss

Yet still here I am, waiting for your forgiveness

Still believing you're my one shot at happiness

Will I ever be free from the angel in my memory?

Will a time come when I'll finally see?

That the pedestal I put you on has already been toppled

And the sand castle we've built have long since crumbled.

Deny

We're here again, stuck in the same place

With flames in my eyes, tears streaking through your face

I can see the tension you carry, the way your shoulders sag

All I did was raise your red flags

I can't be your hero, can't love you the way you want me to

So why won't you go, why not leave too?

Why won't you fight? You deserve someone better

Don't weigh yourself down with me, I'm a monster

Believe what you believe, but I can't be, I can't be better.

Hoping

I wonder if I flit through your mind

If there are times you still try to find

Me, in those songs, those places

If in your life, I left some spaces

For you part me with a void, an aching in my soul

The face I look for in the crowd, the name I try to howl

Or maybe you don't even remember

The girl you've given a hasty farewell that chilly December.

Why

I can hear your laughter echo in my head

I can feel the love I wish to raise back from the dead

Your footsteps recede, you turn your back

I whimper and stare, still in shock

For even if I knew you're gonna leave

That we run out of stories to weave

My fragile heart can't still accept it

That it'll no more flutter to your smile, it won't no longer beat.

Destiny

I hide behind these walls, I hide away my soul

Yet one look from you I fall, one look and you stole

What was never mine and has always been yours

You're good, you're good, I whisper as it gets worse

We're not meant to be, you made me happy

We're not meant to be, a footnote in your story

We're not meant to be, all I want is an apology

We're not meant to be, please tell me why you left me.

I watch the pebble skips in the water

As my heart flips, flips, flips

The ghost of your touch, my knees waver

And I weep, weep, weep.

Naive

I remember lying in the snow

With the winter lights giving you an ethereal glow

Our hands intertwined, my heart beating fast

The night sky shined only for us

Oh, how I wish we've stayed there

When there are no worlds yet for us to bear

You were mine and I was yours

Now, we're cold shoulders and slamming doors.

I still love you

Maybe it's time to burn those unsent letters

Let my past go through smoke and embers

And the walls you breached should be once again fortified

Regain my dignity, my freedom, my pride

Though I love you and you'll always have a piece of my heart

It is time that I move on, move forward, and restart.

-D.G. Gir// 03/26/2018