Him

Lies

I was watching the moon up in the sky

As I sat up and sigh

I told the stars I'm letting you go

That it hurts, but I have to grow

I hope the whispered message reaches you

I forgive you and I'll learn to forgive myself too

Though I know I'll miss you forever

I accepted that things end, connections sever

And I wish, I wish someday when we meet

I can smile and say I'm happy without lying through my teeth.

I've learned to love darkness as if it is light

Learned not to chase what eluded my sight

So before you try and make me feel okay

Be reminded that I prefer the stillness of night than the buzzing of day

I've learned to enjoy the battles, the wounds, the scars

The monster, the demons, the way they are

We clash, we fight for this body, this mind

But their company, I can never leave behind.

If I’ll ever meet you again someday

I wouldn’t know what to say

Should I smile or cry

Do I need to say hey or goodbye?

I’m wondering how would you react

Would you walk away or come back?

Would you see the misery your absence brought to me?

Or would you act as nonchalant as you can be?

I don’t even know if I’m over it or not

If there’s no more feelings or there’s are a lot

What I know for certain is this pain

And fear that I might forever wait in vain

There’s too many questions, too many regrets

If you’re not meant to be mine, why can’t I forget?

I’m trying to catch up, but you’re too fast

If we meet again, this insanity might stop at last.

Did you know that your words are an elixir? If not before, please know now.

Did you know that these words fill my heart with warmth? 'Cause it do. Thank you, really. I'm happy to hear that you feel that way.

Deceitful Arrows

People say love would either save or destroy

I thought I have a choice, to hurt or to enjoy

But I met you and I experienced both

You opened my eyes, yet you never kept your oath

You saved me from drowning in the endless sea

But when I fell, you weren't there to catch me

So now, I'm lying with my broken pieces in the ground

Wishing you've let me stay lost, never to be found

People also say that when love is true

It will give you hope for something new

Yet my heart breaks every time it beats for you

Tell me, have you lied to me too?

Suddenly, I've realized that I'm plainly stupid

To let myself be stricken by mythical cupid

Now, my heart will always have a void, a remembrance from you

I have only loved once and you never even knew.

- D.G. Gir// 03/26/2018

Not Your Puppet

maybe i can climb these walls

show them that i can also be tall

maybe i can open their eyes

that i'm more than the stupid white lies

they look at me like i could never know better

like a mirror they can easily shatter

they talk like i couldn't even hear

they caught me in their headlights like a small, scared deer

maybe there's still time to escape

that i could still create the world that i crave

i have never belonged in this prison

i'd rather die on my own than with their poison.

-D.G. Gir// 04/07/2018

Bewitched

Tell me another lie

Please, anything but goodbye

You are my poison

But you are also my cure

I'd rather live in your prison

Inhale you sweet and pure

For your taste, I'll now forever crave

I'm dying, but I don't want to be saved

So, drown me in your essence

This is how my soul will be cleansed.

Innocence Lost

My heart clenches as if it can still feel

Can still discern what's right, what's real

But I know better, it was torn

The day it fell for you, I was reborn

I can still feel the phantom beating

I can still hear the echoes of footsteps receding

The day it fell for you, I was reborn

That was the last day in my sleeve, it was worn.

Ruins

You're still stuck in the crevices of my mind

Still haunting all the places I can find

I've given you the key, offered my chains

Hoping for a shelter, yet you turned out to be rain

You promised freedom but you are chaos

You made certain I'll never recover from your loss

Yet still here I am, waiting for your forgiveness

Still believing you're my one shot at happiness

Will I ever be free from the angel in my memory?

Will a time come when I'll finally see?

That the pedestal I put you on has already been toppled

And the sand castle we've built have long since crumbled.