Hell Yeah, Pardners 🤠

Them: Oh, your birthday is coming up! Are you excited for a new milestone?

Me, thinking about what I'm going to be for Halloween in five months:

When you saw that there were only three sets of footprints in the sand, it was because you were being carried by me, and you, and Zoboomafoo. 👣👣👣

Eating that shit up when people talk to me about philosophical questions or fictional characters

Messaging people for the first time is so hard. What am I supposed to say? Like, "You seem really odd and your blog intrigues me. Do you want to have philosophical conversations or perhaps talk about fictional characters?" What! Whatever. I will just follow you back and stare at your blog with my big beautiful brown eyes.

My plan is to create a new and revolutionary snack. I call it: Foot By The Fruit™. This will be, of course, foot meat in the shape of various different fruits.

Thoughts?

Psst.

Hey, come closer.

Under the rocks.

I have wisdom to impart to you.

The only rules to writing are the ones you set for yourself, so do it however makes you happy.

Chapter 68: Encounter

Tryna keep myself from crawling through this screen and devouring him got damn

the first time you sit on shigaraki tomura’s lap, he freezes. muscles tensing up, hands held rigid at his sides. don’t touch don’t touch don’t touch on a chant in his head.

you crane your neck to look back at him, beaming that loose, easy smile that makes him want to burn the whole world down just to keep you safe.

"just gettin’ comfy, tomu!" before you’re leaning back against his chest, the warmth of your body sinking into his bones.

it becomes routine to have you there, a comforting weight that buzzes through his head and zaps out thought. he dares himself to touch you, to drag his thumb over the soft skin of your hip. he doesn’t realize that he might have an effect on you too until you’re spinning on his lap and hugging his thigh between your legs, breath shaky against his ear.

"tomu—" you whine into the skin of his neck. he can already feel the heat of your pussy through your cute little pajama shorts.

"needy?" he scoffs, mostly to hide the disbelief, the joy—you’re needy for him. you’re fumbling for his cock, his hands, trying to find yourself relief that only he can bring you. his dick pulses against his stomach. "if you need it that badly, you can get yourself off like this, can’t you?"

you press kisses to his throat, and he practically short-circuits.

"yeah, but it’s better if you help me move."

the fact that it’s him you’re craving—shit, he's losing his damn mind.

he’s careful with his grip but that doesn’t mean it isn’t punishing, firm. he locks you in, dragging your slippery folds back and forth, watching the way your eyes flutter when you bump up against that bundle of nerves at the top.

"you like this," he breathes against you, something like a smile on his face. "you really like this?"

cums literally seconds later when he hears you say, “I love this”

This is so cute and human though 🥺

i watch baseball for the side quests

update: i think you should look at the reblogs for more important baseball hijinks

USERNAME LORE GIVE IT TO ME NOW YOU ALL

"For women, only one standard of female beauty is sanctioned: the girl. The great advantage men have is that our culture allows two standards of male beauty: the boy and the man. The beauty of a boy resembles the beauty of a girl. In both sexes it is a fragile kind of beauty and flourishes naturally only in the early part of the life-cycle. Happily, men are able to accept themselves under another standard of good looks — heavier, rougher, more thickly built. A man does not grieve when he loses the smooth, unlined, hairless skin of a boy. For he has only exchanged one form of attractiveness for another: the darker skin of a man’s face, roughened by daily shaving, showing the marks of emotion and the normal lines of age. There is no equivalent of this second standard for women. The single standard of beauty for women dictates that they must go on having clear skin. Every wrinkle, every line, every gray hair, is a defeat. No wonder that no boy minds becoming a man, while even the passage from girlhood to early womanhood is experienced by many women as their downfall, for all women are trained to want to continue looking like girls." — Excerpt from Susan Sontag's 1978 essay The Double Standard of Aging