I Think I Understand The Patients Of Plague Doctors And "barbers". Because If A Doctor From The 1910's

I'm coming up on my 25th birthday and I've never seen a gynecologist because my family doctor also happens to be a close family friend and even though he knows I've been sexually active for a while I just can't seem to bring myself to be specific.

What am I supposed to say?

"Oh yeah, I know you know I'm in a lesbian relationship, but my Gf has a nine inch dick with which she plows me on the regular, so maybe I should get my cervix looked at, if for no other reason than to make sure everything is still where it should be"

Caption this.

I hate the spring

Because it smells like a schoolyard, like a rubber band about to snap, like unreachable expectations. I reeks of change and hope that sours like milk in the sun. It smells like an wild animal about to pounce on its vulnerable pray.

It makes me nauseous, it wets my socks, it burns my eyes and It looms over me like the inevitable end of all that is good.

Excerpt from a text convo between two Friends who both have BPD:

*edited for typos and clarity*

[...] I will do what Is in my nature to do.

I will beg the frog to take me to the other side of the river.

The frog will say no because it knows it cannot trust me.

And I will say: "you can trust me because if I sting you I too will drown".

And with its last ghasping drowning breath the frog will ask me: "why?" and I will say:

"Because it's in my nature".

As a person with BPD, I deeply identify with the scorpion in that story. I don't start out wanting to hurt the people that are helping me. I don't start out thinking about how much pain I can cause.

I ask for help from people who should know better than to trust me and I make it very difficult for them to do what I asked.

"Let yourself be loved", said my mother as she squeezed and pinched and bruied us with her hugs and kisses.

Don't be a "Limosnero con garrote" (begger with a club), my parents would tell us. They often found it difficult to meet our needs. And somehow, that was our fault.

Can a scorpion live without its stinger? Can a beggar carry a club? Can I stop hurting?

Watch "Are White AMERICANS the Most Racist White People On Earth?" on YouTube

YouTube

Are White AMERICANS the Most Racist White People On Earth?

Hypothesis: Those who are discriminated against see the people discriminating them (and or colonialising them) as the Most Racist.

Example: As a mexican, I was torn between the spanish conquistadors and the white Americans.

Considering the cultural an economical colonialism that the U.S is not so subtly imposing on so many countries, it kinda makes sense to me that they are the de facto bad guy to point at.

With regards to the question of: are they really worse than the other "flavors" of racist...

I don't know. How do you measure that? Number of dead poc? If the language of the people they tried to erase is still spoken today or not? Did they destroy records or history? Idk.

At what point does comparison become moot? Would you rather eat one poison apple or two poison apples? Is there an option where I get to live?

I feel like comparing racists to other racists is kinda like that. My biased queer woman of colour opinion on the matter is: You don't get to pat yourself on the back for being the "least terrible" and I don't owe you gratitude for not treating me worse.

Using other "more heinous" acts of racism to metaphorically wash your hands of your own crime... it feels icky to me. Its like instumentalising the suffering of somebody else's victims to placate your own victims.

I'm no scholar, but that doesn't sit right with me.

Honestly, i have 0 trust in Christian priests. Like, these mfs literally read the whole ass fuckin' Bible and had no problem with it? Decided to preach it even? Suspicious.

Just saw another "if you hurt people because of your faith you don't really have any faith" post, and wanted to point out once again that this weird thing we do where we pretend that "real" religion is incapable of doing harm isn't doing us any favors. Of course people with "real" faith can hurt people! Christians beat their queer kids because they have real faith that being queer gets you tortured forever after you die, and that beating kids is a 100% god-approved activity! India's beef vigilantes kill their Muslim neighbors because they have real faith that cows are sacred animals that shouldn't be killed!

Stop this No True Scotsman shit! All it does is cede the moral high ground in every situation to religious belief, automatically agreeing that religion makes you a better person, and anything that makes you a worse person can't be religion.

At night my brain goes:

Concious me: I need to do [thing that is important but I forgot what it is] before tomorrow!

ADHD: You don't have the spoons to do [thing]

CONCIOUS ME: I'll be the judge of that! I can totally manage my spoons responsibly when I know what I need to get done. Just tell me what the task is.

ADHD: How did you forget! it's so important!

CONCIOUS ME: I didn't forget, we forgot!

ADHD: So it's my fault that you can't remember important things *cries in self hatred & RSD*

CONCIOUS ME: fuck. So brain is out of commission. How the fuck do I remember the thing I have to do!?

* Beloved Gf attempts interaction*

ADHD BRAIN & CONCIOUS SELF SIMULTANIOUSLY: Excuse me, could you not interrupt us when we're in the middle of an (invisible, silent and completely imperceptible) argument! Can't you see the (invisible, silent and completely imperceptible) crisis I'm experiencing!?

BELOVED GF: says anything... literally anything

ADHD: She hates us. She hates me and she tolerates you. And we are inextricably linked. Would that it were so easy to kill me! Would that I could die to let you live!! *melodramatic hand gestures*

CONCIOUS SELF: *to ADHD* oh shit, do you really think that!?

CONCIOUS SELF: *to self* No, we talked about this. She doesn't want to hurt you.

CONCIOUS SELF: *proceeds to freak out at beloved GF*

Fun fact: without enrichment animals can suffer from depression and anxiety.

It's me. I'm animals. Work is not enriching enough

Sex is wholesome.

Tell me I'm wrong. Go ahead!

You can't! I'm dying on this hill!