Sex Is Wholesome.

I hate the spring

Because it smells like a schoolyard, like a rubber band about to snap, like unreachable expectations. I reeks of change and hope that sours like milk in the sun. It smells like an wild animal about to pounce on its vulnerable pray.

It makes me nauseous, it wets my socks, it burns my eyes and It looms over me like the inevitable end of all that is good.

Fun fact: without enrichment animals can suffer from depression and anxiety.

It's me. I'm animals. Work is not enriching enough

Hi i um.. i'm trying to compartmentalize my trauma dumps away from my fandom shit so... yeah... I'm here to vent.

Excerpt from a text convo between two Friends who both have BPD:

*edited for typos and clarity*

[...] I will do what Is in my nature to do.

I will beg the frog to take me to the other side of the river.

The frog will say no because it knows it cannot trust me.

And I will say: "you can trust me because if I sting you I too will drown".

And with its last ghasping drowning breath the frog will ask me: "why?" and I will say:

"Because it's in my nature".

As a person with BPD, I deeply identify with the scorpion in that story. I don't start out wanting to hurt the people that are helping me. I don't start out thinking about how much pain I can cause.

I ask for help from people who should know better than to trust me and I make it very difficult for them to do what I asked.

"Let yourself be loved", said my mother as she squeezed and pinched and bruied us with her hugs and kisses.

Don't be a "Limosnero con garrote" (begger with a club), my parents would tell us. They often found it difficult to meet our needs. And somehow, that was our fault.

Can a scorpion live without its stinger? Can a beggar carry a club? Can I stop hurting?

You are my favorite blog on this site. Also as a fellow ex-Catholic, I have a question. What was the metaphor that your church used for purity and virginity? Mine was a rose with plucked petals.

The rose with plucked petals was definitely one but I also heard a tape metaphor where having multiple partners was akin to sticking a piece of tape to mulitple different surfaces. Obviously the tape would lose its effectiveness and ability to stick to anything and somehow that meant you too would lose the ability to bond with your partner if you had a few sexual partners before them. From what I can remember, there seemed to be more of an emphasis on outright implying that you were dirty and used up if you lost your virginity rather than using analogies or metaphors.

Honestly, i have 0 trust in Christian priests. Like, these mfs literally read the whole ass fuckin' Bible and had no problem with it? Decided to preach it even? Suspicious.

I want to metaphorically jump off a building and see who catches me. But at least I'm self aware enough to not do that.

I don't know when I began to think that ignorance might be bliss. But not having the ability to "un-know" has been rotting our miserable human lives since Eve was convinced by a phallic symbol to eat "ThE FrUiT oF tHe TrEe Of ThE kNoWlEdGe Of GoOd AnD eViL"