I So Sick And Need Dis So Badly :'(

Does anyone else view their regression/dreaming as more of an autistic trait than anything else?

I don't even know if I should be saying it's a trait?

For me it feels like I'm unmasking and even when I'm not regressed I still do/enjoy childlike things.

I wouldn't say I have trauma nor that my regression stems from trauma. My regression just feels like a vulnerable, soft headspace where I can just unwind and unmask. I honestly just didn't grow out of things -like toys and playing- and started masking (I especially noticed it when I was 10) to fit in with my peers who were growing out of things. I didn't want to be left behind and friendless.

when you can't regress so you hang out with you friends until they make you feel so excluded that you involuntarily regress

"Autistic adults are adults"

But what if I don't wanna :(

I is so sick but I still made din din for myself

I wuv appy slices n sweet potatos sooooo much

WATER BEAR PLUSHIES

They're also called tardigrades or moss piglets and they're water animals that live ALL OVER the world and can survive extreme conditions like extreme temperatures, extreme pressures (both high and low), air deprivation, radiation, dehydration, and starvation and have survived being in OUTER SPACE

Here's a picture of some actual tardigrades under the cut but be warned they look a lil creepy crawly so if you don't like bugs you probably won't like them

currently doing some research on like clinical reports of age regression and I found this...

brb enjoying my autistic fantasy defense

I just watched the Bluey episode 'the sign' and it made me think of when I had to switch schools, there was no real reason other than my parents wanted me to learn french but being autistic I was never really able to make friends in the new school and that led me to a lot of loneliness and depression that I've carried with me ever since.

And I think it's easy to say that this is the bad ending, the bad "we'll see" but maybe by leaving that school I missed something potentially worse that could have happened to me. Bluey never found out that it was their lucky coin that saved their house and maybe I don't know it but this loneliness saved me from something I wouldn't have been able to recover from

Sometimes I get worried I'll never be good enough to deserve a caregiver. I feel like caregiving is an inherently unequal thing of me letting someone see my weakest side where I can't produce anything to be good enough for them and why would anyone want to support me in that way if I'm not doing something for them in return.

A caregiver that comforts you when you're too picky to eat what they made for you.

They take put care into your snack time, making you grilled cheese, with milk and grapes and they took the time to take the grapes off the stem so you wouldn't have to.

But when you're eating they notice you haven't touched the grapes

"what's wrong, I thought you loved grapes?"

"oh I'm sowwy, I do but when you take them off they get all squishy and icky and I... It's all icky I can't eat it"

"oh I'm sorry little one, don't worry I'll just get you more grapes that are still on the stem"

"but you put all that effort in and now it's going to waste"

"I put effort in so you can enjoy this meal, for you to have a bad time eating it would be putting my effort to just as much waste"

꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦ Sleepy Caregivers ꒦꒷⭑ ࣭ ๋︶꒦꒷︶꒦꒷

Cuddling your little and softly singing them lullabies as you doze off into sleep long before they do

Your little chronically under sleeps until you start saying you need to hold them through the night to sleep ("you have mr.teddy to sleep with but you're [title]'s mr.teddy so I need you to come cozy up in bed with me, okay?")

Falling asleep while watching your little's favourite movie/show and having them excitedly explain the entire plot of it after

Taking a nap on the couch and waking up to see your little has covered in you in makeup and stickers

Getting the coziest blankies and stuffies for you and your little to snuggle up under

Your little still into their games even when you're too tired to play ("We must rescue princess teddy without waking the evil dragon!")

Having the third sense for when your little's breaking a rule and waking right in time to stop them (and sometimes pretending you didn't notice cause they deserve a cookie or two)

Picking your little up after they had a long day and falling alseep on the couch cause neither of you had the energy to make it back to the bedroom

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷