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NÃO HÁ LUGAR COMO O LAR - PERCY/NICO AU COLEGIAL - CAPÍTULO XXVIII

Oii, como vai? Não deu para postar no fim de semana por causa das eleições, mas aqui está. Espero que vocês gostem.

Sem nenhuma revisão.

Boa leitura!

Capítulos anteriores: CAPÍTULO I / CAPÍTULO II / CAPÍTULO III / CAPÍTULO IV / CAPÍTULO V / CAPÍTULO VI / CAPÍTULO VII / CAPÍTULO VIII / CAPÍTULO IX / CAPÍTULO X / CAPÍTULO XI / CAPÍTULO XII / CAPÍTULO XIII / CAPÍTULO XIV / CAPÍTULO XV / CAPÍTULO XVI / CAPÍTULO XVII / CAPÍTULO XVIII / CAPÍTULO XIX / CAPÍTULO XX / CAPÍTULO XXI / CAPÍTULO XXII / CAPÍTULO XXIII / CAPÍTULO XXIV / CAPÍTULO XXV / CAPÍTULO XXVI / CAPÍTULO XXVII

— Bebê, tudo bem? — Percy teve que perguntar.

Geralmente Percy não se preocuparia se Nico ficasse longos períodos em seu mundinho feliz e submisso. A verdade é que ele gostava de ver Nico completamente sob seu controle, obedecendo cada ordem sua e se esforçando tanto atender suas vontades que se fosse por ele, esses momentos entre quatro paredes nunca teriam fim. Entretanto, o céu já começava a escurecer e ele podia ouvir o barulho da risada de seus irmãos e a voz de sua mãe os repreendendo.

Era nessas horas que Percy desejava ser um adulto e não ter que dividir o tempo que tinha com Nico, e muito menos deixar que eles vissem Nico em seu estado mais vulnerável. Sinceramente? Percy não se importava como outras pessoas iriam reagir e sim, como Nico se sentiria quando enfim emergisse de seu estado leve e contente.

Percy fez o melhor que pôde para que Nico se sentisse seguro o suficiente para sair de seu transe. Eles tomaram um longo banho de banheira, lavou os cabelos de Nico, ofereceu a comida favorita de Nico e depois o fez tirar uma soneca. Isso costumava ser o bastante para fazer Nico voltar ao normal. Hoje? Nico parecia especialmente decidido a se manter distante.

— Bebê? — Percy chamou mais uma vez.

Nico meramente levantou a cabeça que estava encostada em seu peito e se acomodou melhor debaixo das cobertas, piscando lentamente, parecendo esperar pela próxima ordem.

— Eu preciso que você volte para mim.

— Voltar? — Nico franziu a testa e se sentou, tentando raciocinar.

— Faz cinco horas. Quer jantar?

— Oh. — O vinco desapareceu do rosto de Nico, mas ele continuou como estava, lento e dócil, sem questionar nada. — Tudo bem.

Nico, então, se levantou. Ele se arrastou para fora da cama e, calmamente, calçou o sapato, andou até a porta do quarto e o esperou, paciente, obediente, quase se curvando, segurando as próprias mãos atras das costas.

Percy suspirou, pelo menos Nico não estava completamente aéreo. Aquilo era tudo sua culpa, sabia bem disso. Não era isso o que ele queria? Nico completamente obediente e submisso cem por cento do tempo?

No fim, Nico estava certo. O que Percy realmente queria era diversão e realizar suas fantasias mais obscuras.

Momentos mais tarde, Percy percebeu que não tinha motivos para se preocupar. Eles desceram as escadas, comeram sem nada estranho acontecer e Nico até interagiu com Tyson e Grover, ajudando Sally a colocar as travessas na mesa. Houve um momento em que Nico e Sally sumiram para dentro da cozinha e só voltaram dez minutos depois, momento que Percy pensou estar encrencado, mas tudo o que viu foi Nico se sentar em seu colo e encostar a cabeça em seu ombro, e Sally, que sorriu para ele toda orgulhosa.

***

Às vezes, Percy desejava voltar ao momento onde seus pais ainda eram casados e sua família tinha muito menos dinheiro. Isso significaria menos responsabilidades, mais tempo livre e menos estresse em sua vida. Primeiro, sua mãe teve a brilhante ideia de fazê-lo acordar as cinco horas da manhã naquele fim de semana para ajudar com o faturamento e inventario mensal, algo que um contador poderia fazer facilmente. Mas, não, Sally havia sofrido um golpe no passado e não estava disposta a receber outro. Por isso, todos da família eram obrigados a ajudar. Nico era um caso a parte, é claro, ele já ajudava Sally mais do que devia na cozinha, então, Nico estava dispensado desse trabalho árduo. E se não bastasse isso, eles teriam uma reunião com os abastecedores do restaurante.

Aparentemente, a qualidade dos legumes não estava agradando Sally, e, aparentemente, Percy intimidava qualquer um que olhasse muito tempo para ele. Vai intender. Sendo assim, essa era uma de suas obrigações; sempre que eles tinham que lidar com algum cliente ou prestador de serviço insuportável, ali estaria ele. E dessa vez, era o abastecimento de legumes; sua nova missão era ficar atras da mãe e encarar os homens até que eles concordassem com o novo contrato. Seria engraçado se não tivesse que deixar Nico sozinho em casa.

Mas antes de ir a reunião, Percy fez questão de ir acordar Nico. Sabia que ainda eram oito horas da manhã de um sábado, porém, ainda se lembrava como Nico tinha reagido quando não o encontrou na cama naquela vez que havia visitado o clube de Apolo. Então, sem fazer barulho, Percy subiu as escadas e foi em direção a seu quarto, vendo que a porta estava encostada, podendo ver dentro do quarto pela fresta da porta.

Percy empurrou a porta e o que viu tirou seu folego.

Nico estava no meio do quarto, pelado, cabelos molhados e descalço, de costas para a porta, sentado na beirada da cama. Nela, estava a caixa preta com a coleira, a mesma coleira que ambos tinham decidido ignorar, feito um taboo que nunca deveria ser mencionado. Mas ali estava Nico, segurando a coleira contra seu colo, parecendo admirar a peso em seus dedos longos e magros, completamente calmo e composto, e com a mesma atitude quieta e dócil que havia adotado pelos últimos dias.

Pela primeira vez, decidiu que não tomar nenhuma ação era o melhor a se fazer. Porque, não importava o que ele dissesse ou até mandasse, isso era algo que Nico teria que decidir por si mesmo. E se no final Nico decidisse que não queria nada daquilo, Percy teria que aceitar.

Não demorou para que Percy tivesse sua resposta. Lentamente, Nico levou a coleira até o próprio pescoço e a enrolou em volta de sua pele, ainda sem afivelar o fecho, parecendo medir o peso do couro em sua pele. Quando nada aconteceu, Percy observou Nico afivelar a coleira e continuar segurando o couro contra sua pele, como se a coleira fosse muito pesada para seu pescoço aguentar. Nico se levantou, e ainda de costas para a porta, andou até o espelho que ficava do outro lado do quarto, perto do guarda-roupa. Nico estava se admirando, era isso o que acontecia; ele tocou no couro da coleira, como se acariciasse o pelo de um animal de estimação, e mesmo daquela distância, Percy podia ver a pele oliva escurecendo com o rubor, embora Nico não estivesse entrando em pânico como antes. Afinal, por que ele iria? Era apenas fantasias, não era?

Percy não aguentava mais. Ele marchou a passos decididos para dentro do quarto e parou atras de Nico, quase colado a suas costas, observando agora ambas suas reflexões em frente ao espelho. Era algo automático, suas mãos foram para o pescoço de Nico, seus dedos rodeando o longo pescoço, bem na parte da coleira que agora escondia a gargantilha, massageando a pele que encontrou lá.

— Então você gostou. — Não havia sido uma pergunta, porque a resposta era óbvia. A expressão no rosto de Nico dizia tudo o que Percy precisava saber, e o arfar surpreso e tímido, mais ainda.

— Eu não... eu estava curioso! — Ali estava, a ansiedade vindo feito um trem-bala. Então, o problema devia ser sua presença. Ou talvez a expectativa que o próprio Nico colocava em si mesmo.

Nico deu um passo para a frente, tentando se livrar de suas mãos, e dessa vez, Percy permitiu que Nico fugisse; isso não era algo que ele devia brincar se quisesse que no futuro a visão de Nico usando uma coleira fosse algo cotidiano.

— Tudo bem. Eu não quis te assustar.

— Você não assustou. É só que... você sabe... não sei consigo fazer o que você espera de mim. O diário, são apenas fantasias e... nunca pensei que eu fosse... fosse gostar tanto disso a ponto de ter sexo com alguém. Eu só... eu não sei.

— Eu entendo. — Percy disse em sua voz mais afável.

— Você entende? — Nico abriu bem olhos, parecendo surpreso e tão inocente, que Percy voltou a se aproximar, tocando nos cabelos negros, tentando confortá-lo.

— Tudo bem se você quiser brincar. Tudo bem se você não quiser. A gente não tem que tentar algo novo só porque eu quero.

— Eu pensei que o papel de um submisso fosse fazer as vontades do dominador?

— Isso é uma fantasia, não é? Você mesmo disse. Não quero te forçar.

— Oh. — Nico murmurou, relaxando nos braços de Percy, encostando a cabeça em seu ombro e o abraçando pela cintura. — As vezes, eu sinto que devo fazer certas coisas... quer dizer! Você nunca me pediu para fazer isso...

— Está tudo bem. — Percy disse mais uma vez, sorrindo para Nico, decidindo tirá-lo de sua miséria. — A partir de agora sempre que eu quiser fazer algo vou pedir permissão. Não importa o que seja, mesmo que seja um beijo.

— Sempre?

— E você não tem a obrigação de aceitar ou retribuir, ou de se sentir pressionado.

— Eu não sinto que você me obriga, eu só... — Então Nico olhou para baixo, todo tímido, o virou o rosto para lado tentando se esconder. — É essa vontade incontrolável de... de fazer essas coisas.

— Como o quê?

— De obedecer. Não te desapontar. — Foi quando Percy viu Nico fechar os olhos, os apertando bem forte, ainda com o rosto contra seu ombro. — Eu quero ser o seu bebê e seu bom garoto para o resto da vida. Só seu.

Por essa Percy não esperava! Eles tinham com toda a certeza percorrido um longo caminho até ali. Percy se pegou endireitando as costas e respirando fundo, um sorriso um tanto maníaco se formando em seu rosto, uma reação mais rápida do que ele podia controlar. E tão rápida como veio, aquele senso de satisfação e possessão doentia, também desapareceu, restando a Percy apenas puxar Nico contra seu peito e o abraçar forte.

— Obrigado por me contar. Você é tão corajoso. Meu perfeito bebê, hm?

Nico não disse nada, mas ele gemeu, o abraçando mais forte ainda pela cintura, se encolhendo contra seu peito, quase se fundindo a ele. Percy não trocaria esse momento por nada nessa vida.

***

— Obrigado por me contar. Você é tão corajoso. Meu perfeito bebê, hm?

Sim, ele era! Deuses! Ouvir Percy dizer essas coisas, por mais que Nico já soubesse desse fato, fazia algo dentro dele explodir em contentamento.

Bem, o que ele podia dizer? Tinha decidido se deixar levar.

Quer dizer, o que de tão ruim poderia acontecer além de Percy o levar cada vez mais fundo nesse mar de prazer que ele nem sabia ser possível existir? Do que adiantava fugir e lutar contra esses sentimentos quando sem nem perceber se via no mesmo lugar? Essa sensação leve o fazia se lembrar de um jogo que ele e Percy costumavam jogar quando crianças; a cada vez que venciam um desafio, o jogo os levava a um nível acima, subindo degrau por degrau até chegarem ao nível final.

O problema é que aquele jogo inocente e bobo parecia não ter fim, os degraus se estendendo infinitamente a se perder de vista. Era assim que Nico se sentia, quanto mais longe Percy o levava, mas difícil era encontrar aquele mesmo Nico que havia começado no primeiro nível. As vezes, Nico mal se reconhecia. Não se sentia tão pequeno quanto antes, tão tímido ou tão indefeso. Era como se durante o jogo ele tivesse ganhado poderes especiais e eles ainda estivessem com ele, como se Nico os tivesse sugado para dentro de seu ser, para sempre absorvidos em sua pele. Mas, as vezes, mesmo que não ele quisesse, o velho Nico fazia suas aparições, ele não se orgulhava disso, forçando Percy a dar um passo para trás nessa valsa onde ninguém sabia qual seria o próximo passo. Entretanto, o que ele podia fazer se não entrar no ritmo da dança?

Esse era um bom exemplo, o melhor deles. Sentindo Percy acariciando seus cabelos e deslizando as mãos por suas costas, sempre tentando confortá-lo não importando o motivo. Mesmo quando não havia motivo ou quando o culpado era o próprio Nico. Naquele instante, Nico percebeu que dessa vez não precisava ser confortado, mas que gostava do gesto gentil de qualquer forma.

— Sei que eu posso ser... rigoroso. — Percy murmurou em seu ouvido, roçando a barba que crescia contra seu pescoço, o fazendo estremecer. — Você tem que me dizer se eu estiver sendo exigente.

— Você nunca exigisse o que eu não quero dar.

Essa era a verdade. Por mais que ele hesitasse ou dissesse que não queria, era difícil mentir para si mesmo quando o objeto de sua única obsessão na vida estava bem a sua frente, oferendo tudo o que pensou que nunca teria, ainda fosse tão intenso que parece que estava a ponto de desmaiar a qualquer momento. Não porque fosse ruim, mas porque Nico perdia o folego toda vez que Percy olhava para ele por mais de dois segundos.

Então, Nico sentiu lábios tocando os seus numa caricia doce e lenta, e fechou os olhos, relaxando conforme o beijo continuava; uma mordiscada e uma lambida depois, um arfar, línguas se encontrando em um encaixe perfeito, como sempre tinha sido, como naquela primeira vez onde ele tinha fugido e só voltado dois anos depois. Parecia que era tudo o que Nico tinha feito até esse momento, fugir e se esquivar até que ele não tinha vesse alternativa, até que seu único pensamento fosse se redimir por todo o tempo perdido.

— Bom garoto. — Percy disse colado a seus lábios, pressionando suas bocas juntas pela última vez antes de se afastar, sorrindo para ele.

Nico queria seguir Percy, pedir para ser jogar na cama e continuar subindo os degraus. Percy tinha outras ideias, como ir para longe de Nico e abrir o guarda-roupa, tirando um blazer e uma calça caqui social.

— Você não tinha que sair com seus amigos? — Percy disse, ainda com a cabeça dentro do guarda-roupas.

Isso era verdade. Era por isso que Nico tinha acordado tão cedo em um sábado, se distrair com o pensamento de vestir aquela coleira e se ajoelhar aos pés de Percy, jurando fidelidade e obediência eterna não estava dentro dos planos. Talvez depois do casamento se ele realmente acontecesse.

Quando Percy emergiu, estava completamente vestido. Sapatos italianos, camisa preta, terno completo e cabelos penteados para trás. Nico era tão sortudo! Como ele conseguir noivar com alguém tão bonito e charmoso estava além de sua compreensão.

Nico nem tentou se conter, ele andou até Percy, ficou na ponta dos pés e o beijou novamente, algo rápido e suave, e disse: — Você nunca se veste desse jeito pra mim.

Percy sorriu para ele, daqueles tipos de sorriso de lado e covinhas que o fazia parecer um tubarão, e o segurou pelos cabelos, o fazendo gemer.

— Do que adianta eu me vestir assim se as roupas vão ser tiradas em menos de cinco minutos?

Percy o beijou forte nos lábios, arrancando outro gemido dele e o deixou ir, se olhando uma ultima vez no espelho.

— Porque você não descansa um pouco, hm? Eles podem te esperar.

Bem, descansar não era a palavra certa.

Nico seguiu os olhos de Percy e olhou para o próprio colo. Nico tinha um certo volume aparente, e Percy parecia que iria a qualquer momento se ajoelhar no chão e ajudá-lo com isso. Em seguida, Percy voltou a olhar em seus olhos e sorriu novamente.

— Depois. Eu prometo. — Percy, seu dom cruel, disse, se afastando a lentos passos em direção a porta. Mas antes de ir, disse: — Não se divirta muito sem mim.

Então, parece que estou enrolando, não é? A verdade é que falta pouco de plot para escrever. Vou tentar terminar essa história nas proximas 30 mil palavras. Estou planejando alguns extras também, nada muito complicado.

Obrigada pela presença!

"You say too late to start, got your heart in a headlock, I don't believe any of it." Design from Young Gods AU by @/velinxi

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME - PERCY/NICO AU HIGH SCHOOL - CHAPTER XXI

Hi, guys. How are you doing? I had a bit of a burnout this week, but a promise is a promise. If I don't show up next week, it's because I'm sick and completely drained. I hope you like it.

CHAPTER I / CHAPTER II / CHAPTER III / CHAPTER IV / CHAPTER V / CHAPTER VI / CHAPTER VII / CHAPTER VIII / CHAPTER IX / CHAPTER X / CHAPTER XI / CHAPTER XII / CHAPTER XIII / CHAPTER XIV / CHAPTER XV / CHAPTER XVI / CHAPTER XVII / CHAPTER XVIII / CHAPTER XIX / CHAPTER XX

“I love you too.”

Percy continued to hold Nico against his chest and only moved when he was sure that Nico would no longer hate him. He leaned back against the couch and brought Nico with him, touching him gently

For a moment, in the silence of the living room, where all he could hear was Nico's heavy breathing slowing down, Percy thought that things between them would return to their normal and that Nico would finally be satisfied. Imagine his surprise when he felt Nico moving on his lap in a very specific way, rubbing against him, making him lose his breath when he felt small hands touch between his legs over his pants, a touch so gentle that it made him gasp, the sweet torture reminding him of his erection.

“Do you want to…?” He heard Nico say, the uncertainty in his voice clear, although that didn't stop Nico. Because, right after, he felt Nico's hands continue to explore the area, sliding up and down,  drawing a tortured moan from him.

“You don't have to.” He mumbled, or thought he had. In those moments it was hard to tell what was real and what was a creation of his mind.

“I know you're... trying to treat me with respect, but... is that necessary? Wasn't it because of sex that we... fell apart?”

The insinuation was clear, and with each passing day Percy saw how much the unspoken words made the distance between them grow.

“Do you think that's why I like you?”

“Well... you always say I'm pretty.” Nico said in a lower voice, as if he expected not to be heard. It was at that moment when Nico hesitated that Percy remembered to take his eyes off what Nico was doing between his legs and pay attention to what Nico was saying. What caught his attention was the blank expression on Nico's face, the distracted way he touched him, like Nico was trying to hide something behind the mask of indifference. “Isn't that why you looked for other people when I was right in front of you? For thinking I was... pure?”

“Nico. That doesn't make sense! I wouldn't do that again.” When would he have time to do that? Between his depression and the mountain of work and studying?

“Wouldn't you?” Nico then raised his head and looked at him, without any kind of judgment in his voice, but that still made Percy feel very judged. — “What I have to do so you don't ignore me?”

“I'm not ignoring you!” Like, he didn't think he was. Right? Didn't they spend all day together? How could Percy ignore someone who was right next to him?

“When was the last time you did something you wanted?”

“I... we went to that party last week?”

“Percy.” Now Nico looked like he was about to cry. “When was the last time you did something no one asked you to do? You say I'm not interested in things? You're not either. And now, you don't even want sex.”

“It's not your fault. It's not because you came back.”

“I'm starting to see that. But that doesn't make me any less guilty.”

"What do you want me to do? Everything I do is a mistake! It's better to keep things this way. If I do what people expect of me, I won't make mistakes." 

"Percy!" Nico's scream echoed through the room, making him open his eyes wide.

With a dry throat, Percy watched Nico get up from his lap and kneel between his legs. With tears in his eyes, Nico rested his hands on Percy’s thighs and put his face in his lap, ready to start begging. "No one is asking you to be perfect!" 

"I have to be!" 

"I should have never come back! If I'm going to see you like this, it would have been better to go somewhere else. It would have hurt less. You can say whatever you want, It's my fault you're acting like this again." 

"How could this be your fault?" 

"I made you remember the past." 

Nico was right about that. Percy was thinking about his childhood more often than usual. He had worked to get rid of it, and now that his memories were flooding back, it was hard to tell the difference between the person he used to be and the person he was now.

“Please,” Nico finally begged in the most miserable voice he had ever heard. “I don’t want you to hold yourself back because of me. I know you care about me, and I care about you. I just… I want to live these things with you. I want to wake up every day next to you, and I want to be with you every day, and I want you to have all the things you want, and I want… I want, um… you know… I don’t mind if you’re… not so kind in bed. I like it… really. I mean, you were never a saint, maybe a little vindictive, and also--”

“I’m glad you think that of me.” Percy said, and smiled sincerely for the first time in days, interrupting Nico. The boy wanted him to be honest and do what he wanted, didn’t he? “That’s not fair. And where does that leave you?”

“Me? I'll stay by your side.” Nico said and smiled back at him, still with his head on his lap, rubbing his face against him like a kitten. “I'd rather see you acting like the worst person in the world than see you turning into an empty shell.”

“Nico.” Percy leaned forward and grabbed Nico by the back of his neck, making him lift his head. “I don't want to take advantage of you. I feel like that's going to happen if we keep going like this.”

“What are you waiting for, then?”

“Nico!”

“There's nothing either of us can do. The damage is already done. Now, you have to take responsibility for what you did.”

“And what would that be?”

“You can start by taking me to the bedroom and taking off my clothes.”

“I'm not sure.”

“But I am.” Nico pouted cutely, and Percy found himself smiling again, watching Nico stretch toward him still kneeling and kiss him sweetly. “I can wait.”

When Nico spoke like that... so convincingly, Percy could almost see the reason behind it all. Although he didn't really understand. Who would want to be treated like Nico had been and still ask to continue suffering alongside someone like him? Percy would try one more time. If Nico had knelt at his feet and put his head in his lap like a pet, Percy could also try to be a good owner.

***

Honestly? Percy hadn't thought it would be so easy to surrender after so long fighting these urges. It was a magnificent sight to watch Nico get up from the floor. His pants still open, his hair messy and his lips swollen. Nico offered him his hand and Percy didn't hesitate, as he had promised, he went upstairs to their room. He sat on the edge of the bed and took off Nico's clothes. First, the skull t-shirt, then he pulled Nico's pants down, taking his underwear with him, his All-Stars and socks too, and finally allowed himself a moment to appreciate Nico's beauty. 

In the end, what his baby had said was true. The first thing that had caught his attention in Nico was his natural beauty. Long eyelashes, deep black eyes, full mouth, soft skin, rounded hips, long legs, the sweetest voice even when angry and, above all, that well-behaved boyish appearance, always obeying what he was told. There were exceptions, of course, moments like these, where Nico would beg and be demanding, but not like Percy would. Never.

"What about now? How that leave us?" It was a rhetorical question, and they both knew it. Percy smiled and Nico moved closer, placing himself between his legs, holding onto his shoulders.

"Do you want to see something?" Nico asked, cheerful.

"It depends. Is it a surprise?" 

"You could say that." 

Nico smiled and ran towards the closet, coming back with a golden box with a lid on top.

"Did you buy it for me?" 

"No, it's for me." Still smiling, Nico said and took off the lid revealing a nice collection of toys, only these toys were for adults. Three dildos of different sizes, a vibrating ball, handcuffs, nipple clamps and even a paddle. And lots of lube, at least three large tubes.

"Are you sure you haven't been having fun with someone?" He couldn't even blame Nico if that was the case.

"I don't want anyone else touching me but you. This is all your fault! Here I am, offering myself and saying that you can do whatever you want with me, and you having a crisis of conscience? I never thought something like this would happen.”

“Hey! I'm not that bad!”

“Right now, you’re not.”

“That's why I wanted to take it slow.”

“Sorry. I guess I've changed too. But if I knew, I would never have run away. At least, you didn't do the same thing I did.”

Yeah, Percy could imagine. Where would he run away to? To his father's house? To look at the face of his stepmother who hated him or deal with his stepbrother who stalked him when his mother wasn't looking? No way.

“I needed some time. I want to make sure that something like this won't happen again.”

“I know. I was safe in Verona. Hades isn't brave enough to face my nona. If she knew everything today, Hades wouldn't have a penny.”

“Why didn't you tell her?”

“It doesn't matter. She already spoils me too much.” But Nico said this with a smile on his face, seeming to remember happier times. “We don't have to do anything today. Or tomorrow. I want you to know that I'm here and that you don't need to feel guilty, because I've never blamed you for anything. Okay?”

Nico took the box from his hands and placed it on the bed, then sat on his lap, kissing Percy once more. And maybe... maybe it wouldn't be so bad to let himself go a little bit.

***

So… Percy found that he really liked that toy box Nico had put together. Especially the vibrating ball. It was the size of his thumb and was fluorescent pink, with a long string and a button in the middle. Really interesting. And since Nico had bought all those things, it would be a waste not to use them.

He grabbed the handcuffs, the lube and the ball, and well, there they were. Nico lying against the pillows, on his back on the bed and his hands tied above his head to the bed frame, while he was between Nico's legs, fully clothed. It was kind of funny. Percy had pressed the button on the ball and it had started vibrating immediately, making him laugh and say "You asked for it" and before Nico could complain, Percy brought the madly vibrating toy to Nico's legs, following the same path with his mouth. It seemed that Nico didn't know what to do, whether to laugh because of the vibration or to moan, bite marks, teeth brushing against his skin and lsucking lips in places that had never been marked before.

"What now? Should I stop?" Percy said in the most innocent voice, moving the ball up between Nico's legs, stopping at his groin before reaching the really sensitive parts.

"No! Please!"

"What do I get if I keep going?"

"Anything!"

"I don't know... it seems too generic."

"Um-- I... I suck you? Or..."

"Or?"

"Whatever you want."

"Really?"

"Hmhm." Nico sighed and gasped, because Percy was tired of playing.

He brought the little ball down and pressed it against Nico's member, and like in a magic trick, it had magically gone from semi-erect to hard so quickly that it must have hurt. Percy slid the vibrator along the base of the member and slowly moved up, reaching the tip and lingering there, pressing in small circles on the reddish head.

Percy couldn't believe his eyes, he pressed just a little more and suddenly, Nico was screaming, the small member throbbed in his hand and expelled faster than Percy could react. He removed the vibrator from Nico's member and watched Nico shake all over, breathing as if he had run a marathon. But he wanted more, Nico reacted so strongly to the vibrations that Percy wanted to see how long Nico could hold out.

He turned the toy back on, feeling it vibrate in his hand for a few moments and waited until Nico was not about to have an asthma attack, and slowly, like nothing was happening, placed the little ball on Nico's skin again, near his hip, going down his long legs. 

All Nico did was gasp in surprise, still shaking, he didn't say anything or even move in protest, he just looked at Percy, his gaze half lost and half ecstatic, trusting Percy and allowing himself to feel, as if that was all he wanted to do. So Percy, like the gentleman he was, continued with his exploration. He went back up with the vibrator and reached Nico's groin once more, this time passing straight past his member and touching his testicles, watching Nico open his lips in a silent moan, his body shaking without his control. To Percy the whole experience seemed painful, the way Nico contracted and arched, the high-pitched moans, if it weren't for the expression of complete pleasure on Nico's face, he would think that... no... it was better not to think about it.

Percy concentrated on what he was doing and finally brought the vibrator lower, finding Nico's entrance, who let out a little moan so delicious that Percy wanted to make things even more interesting. But, no, that was enough. Then, he rubbed the ball around the entrance until it went in, disappearing inside Nico. Maybe he had overdone it, Nico opened his eyes wide and writhed, whimpering and panting, seeming like he had never done this before, and when Nico did nothing to stop him, Percy kept on exploring. He pulled the vibrator out by the string and pressed it back in, playing with the entrance, doing this so many times that the skin began to swell, like when you kissed someone for a long time and this was the result.

"Please!" Nico begged, twitching on the bed, back arched and head thrown back, looking like he was about to cum once again. And who was Percy to deny his sweet baby.

He pressed the ball in once more, making Nico shudder and this time, he pushed it in harder, inserting his fingers along with it, moving the vibrator around. Nico went crazy, he began to beg nonstop and held on to the bed frame, his toes curling. It was a magical moment for Percy. With two fingers, he took the ball a little deeper and pressed it into that little spot they both knew well. The reaction was immediate. Nico screamed at the top of his lungs and Percy was amazed. He had never seen Nico cum so fast and hard, making Nico's orgasm hit his chest.

"Good boy. So obedient." He said as he pulled the ball by the string, finally bringing it out. Nico fell onto the bed and sobbed, still finishing his orgasm with a strange expression caught between agony and ecstasy. Maybe he really had overdone it. Well, Percy would leave that up to Nico to decide, since he himself didn't know whether to run away, disgusted with himself, or try not to think about his erection at seeing Nico completely under his control like this.

How about a comment to cheer up this writer? See you next time.

SITTER'S LOVE - Nico!Babysitter, Percy!Teacher-father - Chapter XXVII and Chapter XXVIII

Previous chapters: CHAPTER I / CHAPTER II / / CHAPTER III, CHAPTER IV e CHAPTER V / Chapter VI e Chapter VII / Chapter VIII e Chapter IX / Chapter X, Chapter XI, Chapter XII e Chapter XIII / Chapter XIV / Chapter XV / Chapter XVI e Chapter XVII / Chapter XVIII and Chapter XIX / Chapter XX and Chapter XXI / Chapter XXII and Chapter XXIII / Chapter XXIV, Chapter XXV and Chapter XXVI

Chapter XXVII

Nico rang the doorbell and swore to himself that today was the day. Percy opened the door and smiled at him, and for a moment it was like everything had returned to normal, he could even visualize Percy bending down and hugging him tightly. But then the spell was broken and Percy looked away, closing the door behind them. No “good morning” or “how are the therapy sessions going?” Percy just turned his back on Nico and walked towards the kitchen, forcing him to follow him through the entrance hall, the living room and finally the kitchen and dining room.

It seemed that in the end nothing but Percy's behavior had changed. As most of the time, the children were already at the table, Percy pulled out a chair inviting him to sit, and without looking at him, he sat next to Percy, all while remaining silent. This would be the perfect moment, wouldn't it? Everyone ate calmly, seeming to be more asleep than awake.

Turning to the side, Nico looked at Percy who was already looking back at him.

“Yes?” Percy murmured, as if Nico had asked a question. Was he that obvious? Or was Percy just paying attention? And besides, should he be happy that Percy still cared? Or should he be irritated that he felt watched? Nico shook his head and denied it. The truth was, he didn’t know what to say. Would it be fair for him to accuse Percy of something when Percy was doing exactly what he had asked?

"It's nothing," He said back. "Do you still need me to sleep here on Friday?”

Percy made a confused face and he found himself smiling.

"Your parents' event?”

"Damn! I forgot their anniversary present. They've been married for thirty years.”

"That’s cool. I’m glad you have two days until then." Nico suggested discreetly.

Percy opened his eyes wide and jumped out of his chair, as if he had been shocked. However, it was Nico who was shocked. Percy grabbed him by the back of the neck, kissed his cheek and murmured, “Thank you, baby.”

Distracted, Percy disappeared from the dining room faster than Nico could follow, leaving only the sound of the front door slamming shut along with his heart beating rapidly. For some reason, Nico felt bad, like he had done something wrong. And according to the doctor, if something seemed wrong and he wasn't sure, it was better not to do it. Or at least to analyze whether he could face the consequences. 

So, the solution was to pretend that nothing had happened, avoid the curious gaze of the children and spend the rest of the day thinking about what had happened. Relief soon came when it was time to take them to school. He studied a little during the rest of the morning and helped the cook make lunch. Nico knew it wasn't part of his job as a caregiver, but it calmed him, made him relax while the sound of pots and pans and the voice of Beca, the head chef, kept him company.

It was time to pick up the kids once again and dinner began. It was another day that Percy would arrive late, probably after dinner, and that was okay. Percy always showed up before the kids went to bed, and there’s nothing wrong with that. The problem was all his when, watching a series with them, the three of them fell asleep under the light of the television, the darkness of the early evening and the sound of the actors' voices slowly lulling them. When Nico realized the time, it was another one of those days when he had slept past work, the clock hands showing fifty past nine. He rubbed his eyes to see better and saw that the kids were still sleeping, resting on his shoulders, their arms crossed over his belly, as though he were their teddy bear.

"Comfortable?" Percy asked him. He sat on the couch and watched him from there, his arms crossed and legs apart, sitting in the dark, analyzing him, while his green eyes passed over the scene of him and the children, sleeping together and peacefully.

"Sorry, I ended up falling asleep." Nico cringed and looked at the children in his arms, feeling embarrassed, like a little boy who had done something naughty.

"Why are you still here?" Percy said.

"I know I shouldn't have fallen asleep, but--”

"No, what are you still doing working here. Didn't I give you enough money? Do you need more?”

That's when Nico realized, Percy wasn't accusing him. He was being sincere and asking if Nico needed help. Nico denied it, he wouldn't need money for a long time.

"So, what's the problem? I know that the universities are still accepting applications.”

“I…”

"Isn't that why you're here? To make money?" Percy insisted. The man didn't move or try to comfort Nico like he would have before, Percy just stared at him seriously and intensely, waiting for an answer.

"I don’t need money." With a clear and concise voice, Nico decided to be honest, but he couldn’t look at him while he said it.

"So, what do you need?”

Nico found himself smiling, this was so cliché! Did Percy expect him to say “what I need is you”? He couldn’t do that.

"I don’t need anything. I want…" Nico raised his head and forced himself to say: "I wanted to spend some more time with the children before I leave.”

Percy stood up and gave him one of those crooked smiles. However, this was one of the worst he had ever seen. It was cynical and mean, full of bad intentions.

"I understand. The children will be very sad to see you go.”

"Are you… firing me?" Nico asked in disbelief.

“Nico,” Percy said. He walked around the coffee table, stopped right next to Nico, and bent down until he was at the right height, touching him gently. First in his hair, then sliding his hands down to rest on his neck. “You can’t keep wasting your time here. You deserve better than to be catering to the whims of a rich man.”

Was Percy talking about himself? And admitting that he was playing with him?

"I know I can be stubborn and bossy. I like things my way and I can't stand being rejected. But this isn't about me, it's about your future. When are you going to start thinking more about yourself and less about others? Can you promise me that?”

"Promise what?" Nico said, too distracted by Percy's closeness. It was the result of those hands stroking the back of his neck.

"That you will do what is best for you. That you will follow your heart.”

"Percy." Nico didn't know what to say. Why was this happening?

"I'll be honest, I have contacts at the college. I know classes start next month. Why don't you stop by? I'm sure they'll help you.”

"You are… I can't accept this.”

"Why not? You already have a guaranteed spot. I'll just speed up the process.”

"Do you want to get rid of me that much? I didn't mean to hurt you.”

"Don't be silly, you didn't hurt me, you just hurt my pride. I'll survive.”

Nico found himself smiling again, Percy's sincerity always amused him.

"Are you… sure? I didn’t expect things to get this complicated.”

"Don't worry, I get it. You don't want to be with me. I'm big enough to take a no.”

"No, I didn't mean to--”

"So, it's decided. This will be your last week, they expect you on Monday morning.”

Percy stood up, taking his heat away from him and Nico fell back, sinking into the beanbag.

"So mean." Alice muttered against Nico’s shoulder.

"Bad daddy." Logan agreed from the other side.

Nico could only sigh and help them up, while he put away their notebooks, books and pens. Nico put them to bed and escaped downstairs before Percy had the idea of taking him home.

Chapter XXVIII

"So, it's decided. This will be your last week, they expect you on Monday morning.”

Percy stood up, taking his heat away from him and Nico fell back, sinking into the beanbag.

"So mean." Alice muttered against Nico’s shoulder.

"Bad daddy." Logan agreed from the other side.

He sighed and helped them up. The three of them, in a joint effort, put away their notebooks, gathered their books, and put their pens inside their pencil cases. Then, taking the children's hands, Nico led them to their beds, covered them with the sheets, and escaped the house before Percy had the idea of driving him home. Unfortunately, Nico had the misfortune of findingJason in the living room waiting for him when he arrived at the apartment, exactly as a good, responsible adult would wait for his child who had broken curfew.

"How was your day? Did anything different happen?" He heardJason say as he walked past the living room, heading straight to the kitchen, trying to avoid the questionnaire. AndJason? He went straight to the microwave, pressed a few buttons and then brought out a bowl of pasta with sugo sauce, one of his favorite dishes.

"Hm." Nico murmured, without confirming anything. He accepted the food, almost putting his head inside the plate.

"Nico, what's going on? Why did Percy call me asking me to help you move out?”

“I knew it!” he thought triumphantly, even though Nico didn’t feel victorious at all.

"He fired me.”

“Why?”

"Do you remember about my scholarship?”

"I remember."Jason confirmed.

"It's still available.”

"Didn't you need money for the expenses?”

"Yes." Nico lowered his head, feeling embarrassed to say the rest.

“So?”

"I have the money. It will probably last the entire course. I think there is still some left for a P.H.D.”

He watchedJason's face change from concern to a familiar mocking smile.

"Oh, you mean he gave you all that money?”

"Not exactly. I worked a lot of overtime. Sometimes I slept overnight. I stayed up late…”

"I know, you are a model worker. We should all strive to be like you!”

"Blake! I didn't ask him to give me any money!”

"But you feel bad anyway.”

Nico nodded, defeated. He felt like he was selling himself, this exchange that was supposed to be between employer and employee far more intimate and intense than was advisable.

"What do I do? Give him his money back?”

"I can't tell you what to do.”

“But?”

"You are so close to achieving your dream. Why don't you think of it as a loan from a friend who cares? There's nothing stopping you from paying it back when you can.”

"Maybe. So… why do I still feel so bad? It's like he's paying for something I can't offer.”

“Ah,”Jason murmured, seeming to understand. “The solution might be to walk away from him.”

Nico nodded once more and lowered his head to the table. He had thought about this before, it was what he had been trying to do for the past few days. For some reason, this distance between him and Percy also felt wrong, like something was missing. Why did everything have to be so complicated? Why did he have to leave behind all the people he loved the most?

“What’s wrong, Nico?” This timeJason’s voice was soft, his hand resting on his arm.

"Why does this have to happen? Why do I have to stay away from everyone?”

"Everyone?”

"Percy, my father, my family. Why?”

"Do you miss them? Your family?”

Nico didn't answer, but it was obvious. He just buried his head deeper into his arms and pushed the food away, trying to take a deep breath.

"It's okay. You don't have to avoid them if you don't want to, just a little distance is enough.”

"Just a little?" Nico didn't know if he understood.

"You know, I still visit Zeus. I have dinner with him every week.”

"He… he’s a horrible person.”

"He is, but he's my father and I miss him.”

"Does Thalia know about this?”

"She knows. She respects my decision.”

"I don't feel comfortable with that.”

"Are you uncomfortable or do you want to get revenge on them for everything they did to you?”

He lifted his head and stared atJason.

"You can forgive them or not, that's your choice. Wanting them to suffer as much as you suffered is not healthy.”

"I don't want that. I never wanted it.”

“Not consciously,”Jason told him in a patient tone. “Our subconscious mind likes to play tricks on us. The important thing here is that you feel happy and satisfied with your life. Do you miss them? Go visit them. Do you feel hurt? Walk away. Sometimes we have to choose between what’s right and what’s good for us, even if it hurts other people.”

When he just looked at his friend,Jason smiled at him and gently touched his shoulder.

"I want you to think about this. Right now, what makes you feel good? Is it giving Percy his money back or following your dream?”

There was something there that Nico had never thought about.

***

A few days later, Nico was still thinking about whatJason had suggested. What made him happy? Wasn't it strange that he had never thought about it? He kept wondering what Hades would do if he knew how he lived, if Will would be mad if he did what he wanted, he even remembered wondering if Bianca and Hazel would approve of his decision. Now, asking himself that question, wondering what made him happy, hadn't crossed his mind untilJason pointed it out to his face. He just wanted some peace, whatever came of it was a bonus.

The door opened and Percy smiled at him, hugging him tightly, just like Percy used to do before all this drama happened, and he, putting his worries aside, decided that enjoying that moment, melting against his broad chest, was the best thing he could do in that situation. Did Percy and his big hugs make him happy? Much more than Nico could explain. But then, why did he feel so sad?

"Am I a happy person?" He asked Percy when the man released him and closed the door.

Percy slowly turned towards him and looked at him strangely, still smiling, and ruffled his black hair, shaking his head.

"You don't know if you're happy? I would say yes. But only you can answer that." Percy looked at him once more and finally looked worried. "Are you okay?”

Nico didn't know how to respond. So he looked down, feeling strangely embarrassed.

"It's nothing.Jason told me something last night…”

"Is that so?”

"Whether I do what makes me happy or whether I do what other people expect of me." He looked at him and asked again: "Do you think I do what other people want me to do?”

"Nico, I don't want you to feel bad. It's not exactly a bad thing.”

"Oh." Nico murmured, half numb.

"You rarely say no to anyone and you always help everyone. You are someone who likes to feel useful. There is nothing wrong with that. But, yes, I think it is a good question. What makes you happy? For a long time I did what would make my parents happy. It did not turn out well for me. Even though I am in a privileged position right now.”

“I understand.”

"Doing what other people want for a while doesn't mean you have to do it forever.”

Well, it made sense. That's what was happening, wasn't it? He'd done what his family wanted for a long time, and now he was free to go his own way.

"You're right." Nico said to Percy. Nico hugged him tightly around the neck and kissed the face he loved to look at so much. "You always say the right thing.”

"It's a talent " Percy murmured back, hugging him equally tightly around the waist, almost lifting him off the ground. "Unfortunately, we have a change of plans.”

"Hmm?" Nico questioned, confused by the abrupt change.

"My parents want to see the children.”

"I know." He could already imagine the situation. "I don't have any clothes.”

"Of course! How could I forget?”

Percy pulled him by the hand and right there in the middle of the living room were three-foot-long racks filled with suits, blazers, and full-length coats. All of them appeared to be his size. He had forgotten how manipulative Percy could be; it was so obvious that this had been planned that it made his blood boil.

"Percy Jackson!”

Nico marched the rest of the distance to the clothes and checked them, they still had the store tag on them. A very exclusive and expensive one at that.

"Did you like it? If you want, you can take home what we don't use today.”

You know what was the most ridiculous thing? Percy's posture. He had a straight spine, a puffed-out chest, and a bright smile on his lips. And to top it all off, Nico could hear the children's voices laughing from the kitchen.

"When did you have time to buy all this?”

"It was nothing, just a phone call.”

"You're kidding me, aren't you?”

Percy scratched his head and looked at Nico, pretending to be embarrassed.

"Would you believe me if I told you that the clothes were lost in our wardrobe?”

"No." Nico heard another pair of laughs and couldn't hold it in. "And you guys, what are you doing, hiding there?”

The children came running and hugged him around the waist, happy and content.

"Yesterday when you left early, we stopped by the mall and bought half a store!" Logan said excitedly. "It's our gift to you.”

"Don't be mad at Daddy." Alice finished for Logan.

This was a plot against him.

"That's not fair. How could I be mad at you?”

"So, did you like it?" Percy asked again, calm and smiling. But the way he looked at him was as if… as if Percy had found something very interesting; which made him uncomfortable and, at the same time, happy.

"If you think you can buy me because of what you did… you don't have to. It's okay. It was my decision, you just respected me.”

"Nico, I'm not trying to buy you. It's just a gesture of gratitude. You've done a lot for our family. We want to reward you.”

"I don't need that. Seeing you happy is enough for me.”

"We know." Alice said.

Nico looked at Alice and saw that she was already looking at him. She had changed so much that he was even surprised; it seemed magical the way the little girl who hid behind her long black hair transformed into this confident teenager who faced her problems head on.

"We'll never forget you!" Logan said. "And you have to promise to call.”

Nico smiled at them and waved, trying not to show how much more their words meant, something that those clothes that must have cost an entire year of his pay, could never compare.

“I promise.”

O começo do fim

#desafiodascempalavras

Prompt: Apocalipse

Tema: Eles estavam procurando por sobreviventes, mas eu escolhi ficar quieto. Eu gostava daqui.

Prompt tirado de https://promptuarium.wordpress.com/2020/01/06/survivors-2/

O começo do fim

Eles estavam procurando por sobreviventes, mas Nico escolheu ficar quieto. Ele gostava dali, era tranquilo, não havia problemas e nem monstros a serem destruídos.

Ele nunca pensou que fosse gostar tanto de um mundo onde noventa e cinco por cento da população tinha perecido por culpa de uma nova vacina contra o câncer e, ao invés de prevenir tumores, a vacina acabou por mudar o DNA das pessoas, as transformando em um tipo de zumbi que não representava qualquer tipo de perigo; eles andavam por aí durante dias e dias e quando a energia deles acabavam ou eles se definhavam devido a desnutrição, as pessoas infectadas apenas caiam no chão e não se levantavam novamente.

Mas é claro que Nico tinha que ouvir a voz “dele”.

Nico se abaixou atrás de um arbusto, fechando sua bolsa cheia de frutas e ouviu novamente a voz chamando.

— Tem alguém aí?

Nico se virou, se preparando para rastejar para longe dali quando uma voz falou novamente, bem as suas costas:

— Eu sabia que era você. Eu pensei que era minha imaginação, porque faz tempo que eu não sinto a energia de um semideus, então quando eu--

— Cala a boca! Eles vão te escutar!

Nico pegou Percy pelo braço e o puxou para longe, subindo por um caminho íngreme e entrando em uma caverna escondida pela árvores. Era a única opção se ele quisesse continuar escondido.

Human Derek is too shy to come ;)

if you write a strong character, let them fail.

if you write a selfless hero, let them get mad at people.

if you write a cold-hearted villain, make them cry.

if you write a brokenhearted victim, let them smile again.

if you write a bold leader, make them seek guidance.

if you write a confident genius, make them be wrong, or get stumped once in a while.

if you write a fighter or a warrior, let them lose a battle, but let them win the war.

if you write a character who loses everything, let them find something.

if you write a reluctant hero, give them a reason to fight.

credit:@aj-eddy

every day i am percieved™️

WHORE

are there any aspects of what fanon sometimes assigns as percys personality that you think has less to do with him and more to do with how theyre interpreting his adhd symptoms?

oh yeah, absolutely. without a doubt.

something that tends to happen in the percy jackson fandom is the characters’ adhd is erased – not in that it’s unwritten or untalked about, but in that the fact that they have adhd is completely ignored. rick riordan is one of my favourite writers, he holds a special place in my heart, because not only is he among the only authors i know of to actually write adhd characters, but he writes them with realistic adhd. so it really bothers me when people are like “oh, percy’s so annoying, he’s stupid, he’s an asshole, blah blah blah” because it takes me back to the days when people would say that about me to my face. 

like, take annoying for example: percy’s impulsive and he blurts out what he’s thinking a lot of the time without any sort of tact. he also makes a lot of immature jokes, and i think people translate that into percy himself being immature (keep in mind this is the same percy that has seen his friends die, seen people die, seen two major wars, fallen into tartarus, lost his memory as well as seven months of his 16-year-old life… the list goes on).

now, let me tell you, that part of percy’s behaviour is certifiably adhd. i just Say Shit all the time – i crack dumb jokes right when they come to mind and sometimes people laugh but sometimes i feel mortified seconds later because jesus christ those words just came out of my mouth??? and i got called out on it a lot, too, like “eilidh that isn’t funny” like i fuckin know it’s not funny you don’t have to remind me. “eilidh stop being so immature” pardon me for trying to stay lighthearted in times of crisis okay my adhd brain doesn’t like ruminating on things that make it sad that’s why i never do my math homework ever

then there’s the whole percy is stupid thing. he’s just not. i don’t know where people even got that idea. he’s not very good at communicating with people, but he’s good at piecing together information and thinking on his feet. he notices things, like in camp jupiter one of the things he does is piece together the whole “missing eagle” thing from a bunch of offhand comments. 

finally, the general misconception that percy is an asshole.

yikes.

this is the same kid that immediately forms attachments to the underdogs in any situation he happens to be in (some examples, in sequence: grover, his mom, tyson, ethan nakamura, hazel and frank) and proceeds to be 1000% willing to actually fight anyone who picks on them (nancy bobofit, smelly gabe, matt sloan and half of camp half blood, luke and an entire arena of monsters, octavian). 

also backtracking a bit to the whole “he’s not very good at communicating with people” thing – since when does that make someone an asshole? percy’s never really aware of what people think about him (but he’s good at noticing how they feel about other people), and he’s generally surprised by people’s opinions of himself if they contrast with how he feels about himself, like he sees himself as this chill dude that stuff just happens to all the time and he just rolls with it, just about everyone is like what the fuck percy jackson is fucking terrifying and dangerous as shit and he acts like it’s normal what the fuck and he’s like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

that’s also a pretty adhd thing to do, if you’re busy you don’t really tend to think about yourself and how you come across because it’s just background information. like when i’m reading and someone tries to talk to me i’m the bluntest fuck because i don’t have the parallel processing capacity to be polite and keep up the reading hyperfocus at the same time. since percy’s literally almost dying so much of the time (something that often gets overlooked because of how much it ties into the worldbuilding of being a demigod; it’s just not that huge to them. it’s a casual enough thing to be experiencing near-death so often that percy jokes about it – “don’t worry, i’m usually about to die”) i can absolutely forgive him for overlooking other people sometimes. wouldn’t you?

which brings me to the only-thinking-about-annabeth-in-tartarus thing in the context of parallel processing issues.

jesus.

okay, i have about 2 focus slots in my brain. 3 on a really good day. i can only juggle 2-3 bits of information at once in my short-term memory, and i have to drop one or both of them if i feel like reminiscing. percy, while in tartarus, is in a hyper-fixated state of trying to keep himself and annabeth alive – let’s assume the rest of his brain is being used to keep morale up. i’m not surprised he’s only thinking about annabeth and i didn’t even question it: annabeth is right there. she’s immediately relevant and he cares about her a whole fuckin lot, right? he doesn’t have the parallel processing capacity to be thinking about everyone else, he’s focused on the problem at hand: getting both of them out alive. sorry he can’t call his mom from literal greek hell.

also, in mark of athena, i see people like “he doesn’t even think about nico in the jar!” and like, that bothers me too because i love nico, but the only person on the argo 2 that was openly worrying about nico was hazel. they were all worried, but worrying about nico wouldn’t have made the ship go any faster, and they were constantly being distracted by monster attacks. when percy actually got to the hypogeum in rome, he started freaking out about whether or not nico was alive because he was right there, looking an awful lot like he wasn’t alive. after all goes well and they’re back on the ship, percy realizes he was so caught up in the nico thing that he forgot annabeth was still fighting for her life down in arachne’s lair. and he feels guilty, but that’s all actually normal. 

adhd brains can be weird, or so i’ve garnered, because i’ve never lived without one. it’s hard for me to look at percy from the perspective of someone without adhd who doesn’t understand what it’s like to live with it. i’ve been able to relate to percy since i was 11, and i’m used to being on the receiving end of all the hate he gets because people mistake his adhd traits for personality traits or for riordan being a “quirky” writer. i’ve mostly become indifferent to it by now – i just ignore people who are like “percy is stupid and a jerk”, but that doesn’t really make it any less insensitive.

i see the same thing happen to leo all the damn time too, for the same reasons. notice how they’re both of the characters with the most obvious adhd?

both percy and leo have character flaws, but that just means they’re realistic people?? like jfc. everyone has flaws, that’s inescapable, but behavioural patterns that are given to both of them by their mental disorders shouldn’t be counted under “things these characters choose to do or be”. 

some traits of percy’s that are not an effect of his adhd include his loyalty, his protectiveness, his tendency to trust his instincts over logic, his lightheartedness, his changeability, his self-importance, his wanting to be included in everything, his irreverence, his adaptability, his good heart, his bravery, his self-sacrificial nature, his brightness, and his recklessness.