Magic...

Margaret Atwood, Morning in the Burned House; from ‘Half-Hanged Mary’

Yes.

This good life will be mine

The urge to die tonight went along with the desire to live forever.

Light made peace with darkness I'll tell you when it happened, never.

I’m not old.

I’m 19 years old.

But I feel old. I feel really old, like I’ve lived “life”.

Just not to it’s full potential

Maybe... I don’t know

But I feel old

I missed out on so much things that I’ve wanted to do

But life seemed to have stopped for me when I was 14

Life stopped and started hitting rewind every single day

Rewind

Rewind

Rewind

I’m so tired

Next October I’m going to be 20

Then 30

40

50

60

70?

How long will I life for?

Life’s so short

Fragile

Slips right through your fingers

Gone just like that

I

Will I age? Will I become old?

Because it almost feels like I’m already old. I have so much I want to do.

So much to look forward to

So much places to see, so much people to meet.

So much plans to carry out.

But it also feels like there’s nothing there for me. Nothing waiting for me.

Is it because I feel old...

Maybe.

Maybe not.

I don’t know.

I wish I could talk and talk and talk to someone and they’d look at me and tell me

Tell me why? How? When? What? Who?

Why why why why?

Tell me it’s ok...maybe

Because I don’t know.

-a

Another one…when I fail to put my feelings into words, I don’t know whether to be happy or sad that someone else puts it so well. I’m sad someone else knows the feeling but happy I’m not alone.

I don't like using my parents money. It makes me feel dirty. I thought it was because I care about them or something. But I recently realize it's because I dont want to be financially dependent on them than I already am.

When I ask them to buy me something, it feels like I'm giving them an excuse to treat me anyway they want.

When I was younger, I thought they way they treated me was the price of living since they pay for me, so I don't like taking their money now.

But recently, from talking to friends and family, I realize that I shouldnt be hesitant. I should just take their money--let them buy me accessories, food, jewelry, and clothes. I should think of it like compensation for losing my childhood, or compensation for the emotional trauma.

when hayao miyazaki said that true love was two people inspiring each other to live…recognizing just how hard living is, putting one foot in front of the other every day, how easy it is to lose our passion for it…… that’s the real shit

I desperately want to talk to someone about everything but I really don't want to talk to anyone about anything

Guilty of this…srsly need to cop the feck on

This is veryyyy verryyyy important!! I saw it first on a YouTube ad like 2 years ago? More people need to know about this...

Everyone should know the international sign for Help Me. Let’s make this famous!!

Ghibli studio✨