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Back-to-Work Sleeping Beauty Vampire
Name: Adelina Codruț
Age: 1,291
Education:
University of the Dark Arts, PhD in Vampiric Studies
University of Transylvania, Master of Vampirism
Rural Academy of the Undead, Bachelor of Aerodynamics and Bachelor of Mental Aerodynamics
Skills:
Plowing, sowing and weeding garlic fields (Seriously, garlic.)
Fang sharpening
Moving undetected in the shadows
Transformation into a bat or wolf
Mistress of disguise even in human form
Seductive and charming
Mysterious skill sprouts
Bilingual in English and Romanian
Proficient in several other languages
Skilled in leadership, strategy, and negotiation
Writing bestsellers in coffins
Experience:
Founder and CEO of the Transylvanian Vampire Council
Author of the best-selling books "Nightweight, Nightyears," "Solar Utopias" and "Draculas" and the well-acclaimed investigative publication "The True Count: Vampire Migration and Statelessness"
Negotiated a peace treaty between the vampires and the humans in 2077
Led the vampire nation to victory in the Great War of 2123
Slept for almost a century after that due to exhaustion
Awards and Honors:
Vampire of the Year Award (2065, 2077, 2123)
Most Distinguished Vampire Award (2064, 2065)
Order of the Bat Medal (2077, 2123)
Vlad Dracul Award for Excellence in Vampiric Studies (2022)
Summary:
A highly experienced and skilled vampire with a proven track record of success. Seeking a position where I can use my talents and abilities to further the cause of the new vampire-human federation.
References:
Available upon request. (As long as I can find them alive.)
Additional Information:
I am a vegetarian and do not drink blood from humans.
As a being of darkness with unparalleled longevity, I am looking for a career that will provide me with a steady source of income. After slumbering for nearly a century, I am ready to bring my unique skillset and perspective to the world of the living once again.
I grew up in abject poverty. I knew from a young age how merciless life could be. I saw my grandfather burning at the stakes and my mother weeping in an unhinged manner as she cut off the one uncharred limb from his corpse and forced mush made up of the flesh down the throats of her hungry brood.
My education was punctuated numerous times by continental wars, civil strife and drastic policy about-turns. I toiled through a long string of menial jobs before I could afford college. To build up my endurance, I deliberately put myself through challenges like the garlic field stint above. You can trust me to rise up to the challenges of post-hibernation employment too.
During the many periods I have been awake, I have seen the rise and fall of numerous civilizations, some up close. I can give valuable insight into a multitude of ancient societies, offering my unique perspective as an immortal observer. Additionally, I can draw from my memory numerous specific events, figures, and cultural phenomena that would be lost to history were it not for my own personal repository. I believe I am a wealth of ancient knowledge waiting to be shared with the world.
I have also been blessed with the gift of vivid dreams, which, coupled with the yearning of my subconsciousness during those long years of hibernation, fortuitously allowed me to live a second life, experiencing the times and the people I missed in my long slumber. I was able to soak in stories from the olden days, keeping myself sharp and current with the events of the world even while I rested.
When I was not dreaming of the times and people I missed during my long slumber, my intrepid soul would travel through the fabric of time into the very far, post-species future, witnessing the course of fast-forward vampire and human history, collecting the knowledge and insight of millennia and emerging with unparalleled wisdom.
In short, my unrivaled experience in history, politics, and culture are unmatched in the present day, making me a perfect asset to any organization. My appetite for hard work and exploration is as clear as moonlight. I am eager to discuss this opportunity further and look forward to hearing from you soon.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
The time-bending, blood-loathing, immortal vampire,
Adelina Codruț
Email: vampadelina@ahumaneditor.ai
A Stranger in the Lee Soo-Yeon Strangeverse
Merch idea: You're a vacationer in mystery mistress Lee Soo-yeon's macrohabitat, where each story so far begins with a lead character running into a corpse: in a store he shops at, at the home he visits for an appointment, along his commute, in a vehicle arriving at his workplace, and right above her on her vehicle. To enjoy your stay with maximal peace in this video game, you must keep the place as safe as possible:
Brave the embarrassment and stigma to report suspicious activities and domestic violence and other wrongdoings before they escalate or occur to more victims
Stop establishment patrons from taking any unconscious person away
Clean up after yourself so that no sign of carelessness or sloppiness suggests an abundance of easy victims to potential criminals
Join a mentoring program for at-risk youths
Join a neighborhood watch
Help out at a soup kitchen
Sign petitions for safer infrastructure and other robust security measures and for legal reforms to hold wrongdoers fully accountable
Pay all your rightful taxes to sustain a well-functioning justice system, including adequate hot spots policing (but with policy safeguards to forestall racial profiling)
Depending on the number of crimes accrued by the end of your stay, you get to collect rewards or penalties. There are two tiers of rewards: (A) a computer-generated, shareable gif of you slurping noodles with ace prosecutor Hwang Si-mok and warm-hearted police lieutenant Han Yeo-jin or having desserts with the dashing emergency medicine specialist and secret change-maker Ye Jin-woo and (B) shareable AI doodle of you in Han Yeo-jin's art style. The penalties? Computer-generated imagery of Lee Soo-yeon's villains cynically pointing weapons at your photo avatar. Sorry, you'll have to do more work to show off this other visual on social media. Naturally, the number of villains increases with the number of crimes.
A leaderboard publicizes all players' rankings. Every few months, active players have virtual access to a debate between socially-driven crime writers like Lee Soo-yeon and Kim Eun-hee and experts on criminal affairs. Physical attendance is possible with ticket purchase. The top 5% of players receive complimentary tickets. Let's keep in mind, though, that virtual virtue does not always translate to real-world virtue. Nonetheless, at a time when apocalyptic news ceaselessly rains down on us, the reminder that we have so much agency to sculpt our surroundings would be empowering, clarifying and inspiring.
This brief commentary was written after the conclusion of Beautiful Mind.
What have been pumping up The Asian Drama Philosopher (A-Philosopher)’s Chair all this while are writings and dramas that take their audiences in weird and wonderful directions. W – Two Worlds (available on Viki) tops all dramas in this category so far with twin universes where a faraway river surreally floats up to you in a restroom, taking the metaphorical red pill freezes everyone else and leaves you terrifyingly alone in your expansive, fabricated world, and going on rampage is a literally faceless killer who can take any form (including a vehicle!) and teleport anywhere at anytime without any reason to take down a target so long as Creator wants him to. But now that its webtoon protagonist and his killer have both become self-aware, the former asks why he should be an alcoholic artist's alternate self or a starry-eyed fangirl's plaything while the latter, flashing with pixels of anger, demands an identity. There are elements of shows like Stranger than Fiction, Pleasantville, Dollhouse and, of course, The Matrix here, but the overall setup is rare enough, particularly when it comes to nonwhite lead characters, that it still feels remarkably refreshing.
W is not just a flashy show. Among other topics, it poses hard questions about the psychology of fiction creation. Thought policing can be repulsive and is as yet difficult to perform consistently with precision. Yet, in a strange turn of events, this freedom of thought also accommodates contemplation of the aesthetics of thought, for better or worse. With regards to such aesthetics in storytelling, W wonders if it is pathetic to live vicariously through a character who has everything—youth, success, strength of character—you do not have and if it is repugnant to, for the sake of dramatic tension and venting personal emotions, make a character go through traumatic experiences you would never wish for or be capable of enduring yourself.
Some viewers may not be used to the plot's bizarreness and sensational and slightly complicated twists, but, with sincere respect to fellow commentators who have expressed those views, if we cannot tolerate ideas that challenge the mind and defy conventions in an imaginary reality, how bleak is the prospect of us treating with civility someone who is "different" in our inescapable, physical reality? Fortunately, perhaps thanks to its intense cross-universe romance, W has been the rare mind-bending Korean drama in recent years to attain healthy ratings. All the best to it retaining the champion position for its time slot for the remaining episodes. Fanart creators would be happy to draw in a gigantic medal, and probably few would denounce this as vile.
Young-woo's tastefully assembled room provided the very first blueprint.
Everyone else's reaction to The Acolyte: Not DEI again.
Your soapbending T-Rex: Moar, MOAR!
“Banks used to be places for number crunching with this dry and boring image in my mind. After playing the role of the banker Hanzawa Naoki, I realized that they are really about interpersonal stories. In the sense that one can handle financial transactions in the hope of helping people, banking is a job that ...” [Read more at The A-Philosopher’s Chair: https://aphilosopherchair.wordpress.com/2016/01/18/simoleon-physiology/]
© All rights reserved. This is an original translation done by the admin. No reproduction in any form is permitted without express permission.
(via Simoleon Physiology)
H Universe Awards 2024—Taking Over the Resident Grump (See the end)
These aren’t just awards; they’re reminders of how art can save lives, challenge perceptions, and bring beauty into our worlds.
Potential Lifesaver Award
🏆 Winner: Baby Reindeer (UK)
Care is not an invitation for possession. Self-hatred may get in the way of justice.
Raw. Unflinching. Devastating. Baby Reindeer doesn’t hold your hand—it grips your soul and refuses to let go. This Netflix original dives headfirst into the messy, painful realities of trauma and abuse. It’s a tough watch, but it just might change how you see the world.
Most Meaningful Character
🏆 Winner: Player 120 Cho Hyun-ju – Squid Game Season 2 (South Korea)
People are more than their circumstances.
Feminine yet fierce, tender but tough, Hyun-ju is a wake-up call to stop boxing people into stereotypes.
And her bond with Player 149 Jang Geum-ja? Absolute dynamite. This silver-haired grandma might not get gender identity, but her care for Hyun-ju speaks louder than any words. Together, they’re proof that humanity is messy, complicated, and full of surprises.
Most Thought-Provoking Series
🏆 Winner: Hell / Hellbound Season 2 (South Korea)
Human hubris isn’t about defying divine forces—it’s pretending to know what we don’t.
If Season 1 got characters questioning their beliefs, Season 2 left them spiraling. This supernatural K-horror goes beyond the shock factor to grapple with big questions about belief, morality, and the consequences of our assumptions.
Best Finale
🏆 Winner: Eternal Night Star River / Cringey Official English Title (Mainland China)
This finale hit us with the ultimate truth bomb: You can only love others fully when you love yourself first. (But Ziqi’s real problem? It’s not some conventional “demon” identity—it’s believing he is one.) Emotional, uplifting, and just the right amount of bittersweet.
Geekiest Series
🏆 Winner: Avatar: The Last Airbender (US)
Cultural depth? Check. Epic fight scenes? Double-check.
Avatar draws inspiration from Inuit and various Asian traditions, blending them into an action-packed adventure that’s as visually stunning as it is culturally rich. For fans of intricate world-building and diverse fighting styles, this series is a must-watch.
Best Aesthetics
🏆 Winner: Luxuriant Blossoms / Blossoms Shanghai (Mainland China and Hong Kong for cinematography)
Every frame of Blossoms Shanghai looks like it belongs in a film museum.
Wong Kar-wai’s signature style shines through, making this a feast for the eyes. And yes, the “director’s color-graded version” fixed those earlier hiccups, giving us the lush visuals we deserved.
Best Music
🏆 Winner: What Comes After Love (South Korea and Japan for soundtrack)
Each track is like a perfume note—delicate, layered, and unforgettable.
The music isn't just background noise; it’s an essential experience, taking you to new places with every note.
Notes and Reflections
Here’s the thing: there’s already a ton of online chatter about acting, directing, and writing. Why add to the noise? Awards in these areas just feel unnecessary—especially since acting, in particular, is so vulnerable to cultural differences. What’s more, assigning a “Best Drama” title is always subjective. Why should you impose your idea of what factors to include or exclude and how to weigh all the factors on everyone else?
On a personal level, Tibetan Sea Flower (or Adventure Behind The Bronze Door) is the drama that hit H hardest this year. Its breathtaking visuals, pulse-pounding directing, and sci-fi adventure kept H hooked. But let’s be honest—why should that matter to anyone else? Is it as thematically meaningful as some of the other dramas on this list? Probably not. Is its storytelling flawless? Not quite. The show repeats a certain trick, and when some big mysteries are revealed, it opts to tell rather than show.
For H, though, some of these choices make sense. Tibetan Sea Flower is part of the larger Lost Tomb franchise, and its place in this intricate, interconnected universe justifies a lot. It’s built for those of us who love Easter egg hunts and piecing together the big picture—something H finds thrilling. But is that enough for it to resonate universally? Not necessarily.
H's more level-headed pick for “Best Drama” would be any series recognized with the Potential Lifesaver Award—dramas that go beyond entertainment to deliver messages that genuinely matter. That's even if the drama conferred the honor were an artistic disaster. Is that something you can accept?
Finally, a word of caution: awards are often shaped by sampling errors. The dramas that get shortlisted—or even noticed—are frequently determined by marketing prowess and social media buzz, rather than their intrinsic quality or impact. Keep that in mind when appraising any list like this one.
📝Guest-authored by your cheery machine, with some edits, based on original version here. Hey, say you prefer the human grump's!
Lost Heroines
“Is there a taste you want to remember?” In a quaint alleyway in the heart of Seoul, a scarred, reticent chef known only as “Master” operates a low-key eatery from midnight to seven in the morning. The menu has just one modest dish, but patrons are free to order whatever they want. Night after night, various sorts of workers drop by and share their woes and joys over the hearty dishes, while…
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The following poems appeared in the episode broadcast on Tuesday:
1. The 21-st century time-traveling heroine, Hae Su, is mesmerized by a Goryeo prince’s beautiful calligraphy. What the family-loving and genteel man writes is a piece of prose titled “Home Again” by Six Dynasties Chinese poet Tao Yuanming, which describes the poet giving up his governmental post for a peaceful, simple life at his countryside home. (Original text | Translation)
2. As a confession, the prince gifts her “Bamboo Stalk Song,” a poem by Tang author Liu Yuxi that uses inconstant weather as an analogy for ambiguous love. (Original text | Translation – be sure to read the footnote)
3. Since modern-day Koreans are generally not as well-versed in classical Chinese, Su has to depend on his brother and wife (also her cousin) for the interpretation. This, of course, leads to some awkwardness and fury, which Su fails to notice. Then, ignoring the romantic undertones of the poem, she hilariously attempts to copy Goryeo official Kim Ji-dae’s poem on majestic and serene scenery, “Yugasa Temple,” as her response to the prince. Since no translation is available online, The Chair is supplying its own below:
瑜伽寺 유가사 (note that the Korean alphabet has not been invented then)
寺在煙霞無事中 (사재연하무사중)
亂山滴翠秋光濃 (난산적취추광농)
A mist surrounds the tranquil temple in the evening light
A jumble of green mountains and the marvelous sights of autumn beckon
雲間絶磴六七里 (운간절등육칠리)
天末遙岑千萬重 (천말요잠천만중)
Steep stone steps rise for six to seven miles into the clouds
Numerous layers of hills lie at the faraway horizon
茶罷松簷掛微月 (다파송첨괘미월)
講闌風榻搖殘鍾 (강란풍탑요잔종)
After sipping tea, one sees a new crescent hanging at the pine canopy
After a lecture, one hears lingering bell notes from the sleep chambers
溪流應笑玉腰客 (계류응소옥요객)
欲洗未洗紅塵踨 (욕세미세홍진종)
The streams must be laughing at the government official,
Who tries to but cannot wash away his worldly marks
(References: Naver, Apple Daily)
Su eventually settles on this reply: \^0^/
According to Apple Daily, the netizen who identified this poem noted that the current name for a temple which used to be called Yugasa is Donghwasa / 桐華寺. 桐華 is the name of the Chinese novelist who penned the book the show is based on. Readers may like to know that there is another Yugasa Temple, which retains its name to this date and has been associated with the poem. All the same, we are free to regard the coincidence as a cross-cultural tribute.
Similar plots can be found in Scarlet Heart, the 2011 Chinese drama adaptation of the novel. Most poignantly, the quick-witted, Chinese time-traveling heroine there struggles to pronounce the exquisite vocabulary used in letter writing in Qing China, finding herself as good as illiterate despite her education and white-collar background. In both cases, too, it may be one thing to read about polygamy and marriage between closely related individuals as a side note in history books, but another to see it simulated three-dimensionally, with actors viewers emotionally identify with. Time slip shows, clearly, provide excellent opportunities for examining how robust people’s connection to their ancestral past can or should be. On one side, there are the issues of lost heritage and pardoning historical figures for being products of their times. On the other, we have arguments for cultural pride in using language entirely of your own (for Koreans), heightened literacy rates brought about by simplified languages, and support for modern ethical sensibilities.
For more Sino-Korean and Chinese poetry, you are welcome to explore this site category or search for Kuiwon’s very informative WordPress blog, which The Chair has long wanted to introduce here. Kuiwon has also written at length about his thoughts on the issue of Chinese character usage in South Korea. His view, however, neither reflects nor contradicts this site’s.
One mistake in the Korean adaptation warrants notice. As the netizen reported, the story takes place in the AD 900s, but Kim Ji-dae lived from 1190 to 1266, so the writing Su copied from could not have been lying around. At least it is a romantic notion that a book traveled back in time with you—theoretically more romantic, perhaps, than being wooed by the husband of your sick cousin.
Accounting on Ice
Thirsty for more action-packed accounting shenanigans? Bring your hockey gear to Accounting On Ice, a fantasized ice sports complex celebrating accounting concepts.
Accounting On Ice has three rinks, each with a different theme:
The Balance Sheet Rink is divided into two halves, representing the assets and liabilities sides of a balance sheet. The assets side is blue, and the liabilities side is red.
The Income Statement Rink is divided into four sections, representing the revenue, expenses, gains and losses sections of an income statement. The revenue section is green, the expenses section is yellow, the gains section is blue, and the losses section is orange.
The Statement of Cash Flows Rink is divided into three sections, representing the operating, investing, and financing activities sections of a statement of cash flows. The operating activities section is orange, the investing activities section is brown, and the financing activities section is gray.
Each rink is decorated with icons of different types of accounting items in the rink (e.g. types of assets and liabilities in the case of the Balance Sheet Rink).
Equipment:
Hockey sticks are styled as mouse pointers and USB dongles.
Pucks come with monetary symbols.
Tournaments:
The scoreboard shows the balance sheet of the complex.
Players wear jerseys with the names of different accounting terms.
Players are to skate around the rinks and score goals in the correct section.
The complex hosts tournaments with names like the "FIFO vs. LIFO Cup" and the "Going Concern vs. Liquidation Challenge."
There is a "Tax Time" skating party, where skaters dress up as accountants and compete in a tax-themed relay race.
Other amenities in the complex:
A ticket office named "Ledger"
A concession stand named "Audit" that offers snacks with names like "Debit Donuts" and "Credit Crunch"
A "Hall of Fame" that recognizes people who have made significant contributions to the field of accounting, categorizing them as "athletes," "builders" or "officials" for metaphorical comparison
A museum named "Rule of 72" that exhibits different artifacts from the history of accounting
A library named "Equity" with books and articles about accounting and with accounting formulae quoted like sayings on its walls
A computer lab named "Common Perennial Aches" with accounting software
A conference room named "T-account" for hosting accounting classes, workshops and seminars
A gift shop named "Trial Balance" that sells accounting-themed merchandise
The complex is open to the public and offers a variety of programs and services for people of all ages and skill levels in accounting and ice sports.
All in all, Accounting On Ice is a fabulous place to learn about accounting in an entertaining and interactive manner, to practice your skills, or to just have some fun on the ice. What are Big Four spectators waiting for? Get your bean counters to work on the bidding prices. You know the rule: No peeking at the human editor's estimated sales value.
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An energy economy intubated, intercepted and interrogated by its multiverse escape game, TikTok-addicted black holes, go-getting cerebral vampires and healing rice ball spirits. Originally an extension of The Asian Drama Philosopher (A-Philosopher)’s Chair, a site examining literature, art and ideas featured in East Asian series.
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