To You
To You
I don't like the way I am acting right now. I keep pushing you away, and I am sorry. I'm scared to feel the way that I do. I don't want to. I have not felt like this in some time and I don't know what it means. I am sorry I am making you feel as if your feelings dont matter. i am sorry if you think youre dumb becase youre not and i am sorry i tried to make you jealous on purpose. at the end of the day i dont know how to handle the emotion, i am childish, i thought i had matured but turns out i did not. i sit here and am slighjtly mad at myself i am sad and i dont know why, i miss you and wan to talk to you but i understand if you are done becasue all i did was push you away. all did was reject you time and time again but its becase i was scared and if you are done now its okay, you said you would tell me so please do becuase i started to care about you too late and i wish i hadnt and i think i do like you like more than i care to admit but i dont want to admit that to myself becuase that means exposing my feelings to somepne and i cant. i care about you and im sorry im pushing you away, i am sorry you are tired or feel bad, i am sorry if i did something wrong, i wish i had not. but thank you for allowing me to feel loved in ways that i have not before. even if it was for a small amount of time. thank you for allowing me to feel cared for and thanks for showing me what it is like to love with respect even if you didnt actually know me, you blindly cared for me, and i am grateful for that you showed me what it was supposed to be like and i told you time and time again you were most likely lying, thank you for the patience you showed when in was so confusing and rude. thanks and i think in another life time i could have really loved you, and i hope in one of the multiverses i got to feel what it was like to be loved by you because i just know it would have been amazing. thanks.
More Posts from Alloftheunsaid and Others
I think I was just born with something dark and ugly inside of me. Always waiting to be found out.
planetarium - adrienne rich/@twoheadedfawnn/ugly, bitter, and true - suzanne rivecca/a burning hill - mitski/a hora da estrela- clarice lispector/ @100493503004422/sharp objects - gillian flynn
If every word I said could bring you back,
and allow me to hear your voice once more
I’d talk endlessly
about everything under the sun.
- about the loss of a loved one
Andrea Gibson
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please.
I miss you more than I knew I would
and I hate it
because I promised myself
that I wouldn’t be that person,
the one who sits around
wondering how you are
and if you’re happy
but I couldn’t stop it and it sucks
because I wish I didn’t care.
I wish I felt nothing
but how can I feel nothing
for the person
who once made me feel everything.
MSI
𝙹𝚞𝚕𝚢 𝟸𝟷, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟹 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚏 𝙵𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚣 𝙺𝚊𝚏𝚔𝚊, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟶 -𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟹
[ID: I cannot sleep. Only dreams, no sleep. END ID]
Ivy House, Greenwich, Connecticut
photo via melissa
