"Don't Tell The Governor I Said That, I Don't Need Ya'll Catching The Gay," -9/19

"A bunch of crazy shit goes down in the Swim locker rooms. It's a bunch of half-naked men"10/9

"When Andrew get's married, someone tell me her name so I can send her my condolences." -1/28/25

"I'm afraid your family drew Andrew's into the ground in the 1300s" - 1/29/25

"I shoot a three in your mouth," - 9/6

"They're fast, they can jump, and they have a big peepee" -4/7/25

"Leave it to Andrew to provide the next workforce" - 11/19

"2008? So you weren't even a twinkle in you're father's eye?" -9/10

"yk that boulder in Indiana Jones? That's me!" - 5/15

*To the tune of Wellermen* "There once was a man who touched my peen

the name of the man was Billy or Gene" - 5/16

"Here's Jacob with his 10 kids."

"Geez, Maria, take some plan B." -2/20/25