"yk That Boulder In Indiana Jones? That's Me!" - 5/15

"I'm not gonna give you 5 bucks to get with my sister bro" -10/24

"You're one of those people who laughs at a funeral" - 1/27/25

"you cant stick a cucumber up there"-12/13

"She started biting my nipples so freaking hard they almost fell off and I had to go to the hospital"-12/11

"I know your thirsty...ᶠᵒʳ ᶜᵒᶜᵏ" - 4/30

"Here's Jacob with his 10 kids."

"Geez, Maria, take some plan B." -2/20/25

"They're fast, they can jump, and they have a big peepee" -4/7/25

tw: theft, body horror, facial disfigurement

Hee hoo I got your nose!🫰👃

"Can't wait too see all that baby oil!" - 10/7

"Sarah was my first sugar mommy, Sarah's my sugar mommy and I love her." - 9/15