Wolf Kin - Blog Posts

How to explain to my long-time online friend that me interacting with dog boy, dog adjacent, therian, etc. Media online is not meant as a sex thing and instead just me genuinely feeling happy when being referred to as a "good boy" or a dog. No bleach, no borox.

Please bro there's so much depth to the dog "bit" with me.

I always get very agitated when anyone other than a very select few people come into the kitchen when I'm making myself food. It makes me get all growly and defensive.

Sometimes, it's made worse if they ask me what I'm making. Which is crazy! Because if the select few were to ask, I'd happily offer up half to them. But the moment someone outside of that little group tries to reach for what I'm eating, I literally have to stop myself from swatting at their hand.

I had a bad biting problem when I was younger. That and clawing at people. It wasn't that I didn't know it hurt. I assumed as much. I felt bad after I did it. But people were always touching me.

I hated it. I've always been pretty soft-spoken around people unless I know them well. Teachers have always joked that they can't hear me. Sometimes, I talk very little during the day, and my voice sounds clogged and scratchy by the end of it from not being used. I've always been short. When I was younger, I was kinda scrawny. My claws and teeth often felt like my only defense when people would come near me.

I was always so jumpy, and I had my reasons, but it often led to me panicking and hurting people when I really didn't mean to. They just happened to move a little too quickly when they were a little too close to me. I felt bad about it afterward. I'd feel the urge to whine and lick at my friends' wounds in apology. I couldn't do that, of course, and no injury was too severe, but it still hurt.

I eventually got used to not using my claws and keeping them tucked, especially after I got out of the hostile environment I was in as a kid. However, the urge never really went away. I still panic sometimes when my friends get close to me or move past me too quickly. I do my best not to make any move that could hurt them. They understand a lot of the time, or I hope that they do. They're always quick to tell me it's okay. I still feel bad sometimes, though, when we're play fighting, and suddenly I start snapping my teeth. It doesn't feel very fair to them.

I think I'm better than I used to be. Now I at least keep my claws cut, and when we play, I try to keep my bites from catching any skin, and if they do, I try my best to keep them soft. I try to warn them in the ways I can when I'm not feeling safe, though at times it's difficult as I tend to go very quiet when I'm very upset and can only communicate through body language. I really hope they know that I never intentionally swipe at them in a way that isn't playful or that when I bear my teeth, I'm only trying to ask them to back away.

College class scheduling is evil. You know what isn't? Going for a hike in the cold winter air. I'm tired of concrete and brick. I wanna go get in them damn woods.

Hey, I get most of my wolf shifts in the winter. I also have a playlist I only listen to in the winter that helps me feel more wolfish. Here ya go.

In case anyone is interested, I made a side blog for my Minecraft hearthome so I can just bark about it over there.

@dandelions-crossing

Feel free to follow! I'll hopefully be able to post more on it soon.

Hanging out with my girlfriend annnnnd my pack for therianthropy day? Don't mind if I do >:3

(I'm going to make them go howl at the moon with me)

New tail :3

My girlfriend got it and the bells for me. I love it.

One thing I don't like about it getting colder is that the back of my neck prickles like my fur wants to escape, but it can't. It itches >:

I just want my winter coat damn it

I wanna age like an old cowboy. Give me a southern squint with very exaggerated crows feet and a furrowed brow. Make me rough and tumbled. I won't smoke, but give me a scratchy voice. I want my grandkids to look at me and see coyote, wolf, dog, raccoon. I want them to see weathered and wild.

Love when my friends passively refer to me as a dog but still respect me. Like yeah, this is our friend. They bite and bark n shit. They're cool.

Also, a picture of me, drawn by one of my friends 😌

I always found shifting in school to be the worst. I always felt too awkward and wrong and out of place. I couldn't focus on my math when all I wanted to do was run. I couldn't sit through my biology class without practically chewing through my pencil. I was always a nervous kid, and then on top of that I had to walk around and pretend like I couldn't feel my claws and fangs.

It got even worse as it got colder. I felt so vulnerable tucked into a classroom, like I never had enough to shield me away from the world. I'd never go to school without a jacket, and it still only helped so much. Sometimes, I'd wear fingerless gloves or bring little trinkets I could roll around in my hand. They helped.

Being an adult can suck, but I was a teenage werewolf (shapeshifter, but for the sake of the pun), and that shits rough.

You know, if winter grieves me, fall and spring look at me with love and welcoming because they too understand the fact that we all change. No matter how different I am or how conflicted I feel, I'm still me, and that's all that matters.

So I have this bit, right? It's been a while since I've done it, but if I bring it up with my friends, they can still easily understand or remember the joke.

It's called the Dan Rules. It's often comedically egotistical and vain and was made because out of our little group, it was a joke that I am (as an act) an eccetric (maybe enigmatic if I'm feeling fancy) person who does whatever the hell I want.

If people thought to question my behavior, it was often quickly followed with a "that's just Dan" from my friends and easily dismissed. Sure, some of my boldness was probably left over from my middle school years, where I felt I had to lean into my weirdness completely so people would see me more as a joke than a freak.

But then I found myself in a safe, accepting environment, one where the need to bite and snarl and run away never came. I waited a while for it to arrive for me to feel the need to play the part of the fool for my newfound companions entertainment. It shocked me when I was left with genuine love and compassion. I leaned out of self-deprecating humor and completely into the (very obviously joking and fake) role of an egotistical short and angry ruler. For fucks sake we still have the name of the group chat as "Dantopia". I still did the bit to entertain my friends, to keep them laughing at my antics. But this time, it was accompanied by my own laughter. I enjoyed a new sense of freedom it brought.

The Dan Rules came out of when we were messing around, and I'd lean into this foolish king role, and I would proclaim something insane or childish. A popular one was, "Dan is never wrong." Often followed by a warranted scoff.

But the second rule is a good one, I think, one that really shone through as a reminder that I am not now who I was before.

"I do what I want."

I hadn't had much freedom before I met my current group of friends. I was quiet and kept quiet at times. I felt muzzled and chained, and as if I was a dog because someone forced a collar around my throat and pulled me on a leash.

It wasn't only that I didn't have the choice of self-expression, though. I'd also seen what happened to people who gave too much into reckless. I grew up with the weight of their actions carried on my shoulders, and while I have always been bold in my identity and beliefs, I was quiet and still when presented the opportunities to escape from situations where people kicked me down for who I was. I feared what would happen if I left my old group. Ironically, this fear led me to be isolated.

I found myself almost completely alone in the pandemic, and my only saving grace was a new school with new people. New people who didn't tell me to shut up or that I was ugly or that I needed to stop acting like an animal or they'd treat me like one. Instead, I met friends who handled me gently and taught me it was okay to hug just as it's okay to bark, and they welcomed me. I felt at home. I felt as if I knew myself completely.

So, with the second rule, which I still follow to this day, I added a private note.

"I do what I want. Because I can trust myself to."

Know thyself

I can trust myself to bark or scowl or growl just as much as I can to love and kiss and hug. I can stay aware of what is and isn't good and how much or how little I can trust someone. I can be bold and loving all at once and welcome others with open arms and flashing fangs.

I am in complete control over myself, and even when I am doing something so I can see my friends laugh, I am also doing it because I can, and I do what I want.

I'm trying to draw how my dog form looks. The face of the second drawing feels more fitting. I'm not a physical alterhuman, but this is how I can see myself looking, or how I feel like I should look (when I feel more dog at least)

The pipeline of wolves and dogs being my favorite animals as a kid into realizing I actually just am them. I bought this werewolf costume because I think they're cool... No other reason 👀

My favorite animals are actually stingrays and mantarays :3

Since it's national dog day I'll be expecting 5 dollars or a pat on the head from everyone. Only business, I got tuition to pay.

This dog is not made for the heat.

It's 95°F (35°C) and it feels like 102°F (38.9°C)

Endless dry heat! Has me panting and shit, horrible.

Imagine a dog trying to go to school, and all it can do as it runs around campus is try not to melt into a little puddle.