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Tw Self Harm - Blog Posts
Strands of Existence
Recently one of my favorite pieces of media featured a character brought back to life with the exclamation of EMPTY! empty empty empty EMPTY!
It resonated harder than it should’ve to be honest
because I feel like that
I feel like I’ve been killed by life
by friends who should've been
family that wasn't
lovers who refused to be
My soul, exsanguinated by those who said they would cherish it
My dreams scooped out of my skull by harsh words and harsher realities of funding and conditional love and security
My wonder pulled from my chest by the same hands I once placed my stained glass heart into
My skin sensitive not from angry and rash touches but from the lack of any love at all
And its left me Empty
Left me feeling like the only things left are the strands of the person I once was and tried so hard to be tying me to a life that I don’t really want.
I tried to cut those strings
those delicate blue strings running the lengths of my arms and legs and release the hot red magic held within them
tried to free myself
tried to leave on gossamer wings
but it didn’t work
it failed
i failed.
So I stopped trying, I now bleed on pages instead of pillows and try to find those wings within me and let them free without letting them see the light. I try to leave those strings be and let them puppet me towards a life I want to lead instead of one I want to leave.
I still feel like there’s only strings within me, but at least I stopped trying to cut them
Now I pick up the pieces of my shattered stained glass heart and use yet more silver to weld it back together and try to believe what they say, that broken things fixed are just as beautiful if not more for the proof of recovery
And if I can do it
Maybe you can too
Maybe we both can one day look up and realize that those strings weren’t trapping us, but leading us to our destinies like red strings of fate tying us to happiness and a future that we can’t yet see
tw: self harm/sui$ide
I feel so worthless. Whenever I tell my parents about my $uicidal thoughts they just get mad at me or whenever she sees my cuts she yells at me and I just feel like i would be less of a burden on them if I died.
analysis ‘ .
'𝐈 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐈'𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓. 𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐀 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐖𝐀𝐘.'
bold whatever applies to your muse. italicize the things that are circumstantial. REPOST , DON’T REBLOG.
been cheated on | been bullied | had your heart broken | broken someone’s heart | told a horrible lie | been betrayed | been framed / set-up | stolen something of value | overdosed on drugs | been drunk | cheated | bullied | been publicly humiliated | punched someone in the face | been beaten up | broken a bone | been admitted to a hospital | put someone in the hospital | had a near - death experience | been drugged | done drugs | smoked | been arrested | been homeless | been forced to commit a crime | died and came back to life | kissed someone you weren’t attracted to | bled severely | killed someone | been forced to kill someone | had an attempt on your life | made an attempt on your own life | lost someone | loved someone | watched a loved one die | failed to save / help a loved one | felt helpless | watched your world die / disappear | had your life’s work stolen / destroyed
gone without food for over three days | gone without sleep for over three days | been tortured / questioned | been shot | been stabbed | been poisoned | been held prisoner | been trapped | been buried alive | been held hostage | held someone hostage | been stuck in a different world / universe / time | been abused by someone who should have loved / appreciated / valued you | had a panic attack | had night terrors | been in a car accident | lost your job | lost a fight | had sex with a stranger | been divorced | been abandoned | passed out from pain | cried yourself to sleep | spent a whole day in bed | hurt yourself | taken your anger out on yourself | taken your anger out on someone you love | been used | been manipulated | felt used | manipulated someone else | had your memories / mind wiped / stolen or tampered with | been taken over by a hostile force | been terrified | played a cruel game on someone | been forced to smile | felt too many things at once | laughed when you felt like crying | been in denial | been denied | faced your demons
nosac-glave:
Despite the droplets he flung at her, she made no move to dodge them, allowing for them to splatter across her corpse like features. Clouded eyes, once a vibrant, brilliant blue, remained steadfast in their empty gaze. He reminded her faintly of something, of what or whom, she did not know; the energetic bursts of movement were all too familiar. Perhaps he reminded her of someone else she know, long past? Whatever the reason, it was with that deep seated patience, no matter how deep one had to dig to find it, that she did not attempt to take his head off then and there for encroaching on her space.
A token of our first meeting?
She bit back a laugh at that; perish the thought. Demon blood was something she needed for a barrier construct. Tokens? Trophies? Ah, it was supposedly an accepted fact that murderers would often keep mementos of their victims. She never got into that sort of thing; why bother keeping a physical memento, when you could keep their soul instead? That seemed far more a precious treasure than say, a measly clothing item, or a physical body part of a victim. Then again, souls were only valuable to her kind and others of the like; humans and other supernatural beings couldn’t have been bothered.
“You sound childish,” she mused aloud, unbothered by his words. It was amusing in a way, and in a sense she could detect a certain likeness; both of them seemed to be detached from something. Her with empathy, and to her, he appeared to be out of touch with….probably a lot of things if she cared to dig deeper.
“So I suppose you enjoyed your consequence?” Notice that she did not ask him if he’d like another puncture; she doubted he wouldn’t hesitate to take her up on her offer. Despite having obtained what she came for, she wanted to observe this one a bit more.
@glitchedknives
His eyes go black, for only a moment, watching the blood hit it’s target. She didn’t duck and dive, she didn’t try to avoid the splatter at all. Curiouser and curiouser! The longer this interaction kept going, the more interested he was in the other. Anti’s form glitched, static crackling in the air around the two. A part of him wishes to get inside her head, poke around and dig his claws in, but he senses that would end with him enduring more than just a slit throat.
The demon kept close, not afraid of another attack while still being wary of the possibility. He wasn’t sure if she’d try and take more of his blood, even more unsure if he wanted her to. Anti, despite being a demon and having various knowledge of things, doesn’t know the uses of demonic blood and has zero clue as to what the other could possibly want with it. Or what plans she may have to do with it.
Childish? That deterred the demon’s train of thought, his focus back to himself. He grinned wide, neck rolling and head jerking. ❝Got a problem with children?❞ Anti laughed. ❝ Or just a problem with childish acts? Or a problem with me? Am I annoying y̨̛͘ò̴̴u͘ųu͝u̵̕ư͡?❞ Childish was certainly a good descriptor for Anti when he was like this. A preferable attitude and way of being to murderous or crazed. Of course his moods could switch in the blink of an eye.
He raised his hand, a finger trailing across the wound before pulling at the s p l i t in his skin. ❝Well I sure as hell ain’t complaining!❞ More blood spilled down his neck, a dark crimson that stood out against his sickly pale skin. ❝You’re not the first to do this! That honor goes to m͞͞e-̡͡͝m̸̧͠ę̸-̕me̵̷!❞ Oh how he enjoyed reminiscing about that day, taking his blade to his host’s throat. This was before he had his own physical form of course, but he sure did enjoy inflicting injuries on himself the human’s body for fun.