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❛ so i suppose that it gets to a point where feelings gotta get hurt. ❜ (sasayama @ kogami ! )
load of bullshit.
the thought had been nagging at him all night, worming its way into the corner of his mind despite how often he told himself that these things didn’t matter to him, that he’d grown past the judgement of prioritizing his profession above expectations. it’s partially true. kogami’s focus drifted from his drink, the cheap can of beer resting atop worn out wood of a table that’d seen better years.
he knew he’d already had two to three beers too many, but that doesn’t stopping from swirling the half empty can of Sapporo beer between taut muscle, fingertips searching for anything solid that could ground him and keep him away from jabbing at sasayama’s back.
‘ i might have been glad to see you’ve fared well after your discharge, but now i don’t know. now i think you just piss me off. ’ no real bite in his words.
any other time in years past he would’ve obliged, perhaps dated the girl — a petite thing, charming smile, lean in the face, makes your stomach churn at the sigh. stealing moments together. he would’ve liked it back then, because it made him feel older, like he had his life under control.
funny how fast everything can change.
well, everything except sasayama. kogami hardly expects to hear an apology, sees the end of this teasing far outside his reach that perhaps the ordinariness of this evening makes kogami be more himself now that he’s ever been. he takes deep swig of his beer, making a halfhearted attempt to quiet down the pounding in his head since the moment he’d been masked with the question: will you take the leap or will you go on pretending that all there is to life is to sit behind a monitor and run drills, scan people’s faces from the better end of the dominator.unfair to her, should he play the role of pretender.
‘ figured i’d let her know, in case it got her hopes up for nothing. you’re one to judge. at the very least, i’m not the womanizer who can’t keep hands to himself. ’
@lustraveil