Experience Tumblr like never before
Voldemort: *showing up to a DE meeting with puncture marks everywhere*
Death Eater: My Lord! You fought with vampires!?
Voldemort: *flashback to that morning when he forgot to put warming charms on his snakes the night before AND locked them out of his bedroom so they all converged upon him in revenge*
Voldemort: Yes
I really need to see more fics with snakes being assholes and Tom having to suffer because they refuse to leave him alone.
You can’t tell me on a cold night 20 something snakes wouldn’t stick to Tom like glue.
Or the cat equivalent of sitting on your face while your asleep and suffocating you with fur. AKA noodle boi accidentally wrapping around his neck too tight.
And snakes do not know boundaries:
Snake: damn it’s cold
Tom: *minding his business*
Snake: ah-ha! *shoots up Tom’s pant leg just a touch too far*
Tom: *shrieks* MOTHERFU-!